Christmas in Honduras (in phases)

December 31, 2007

I think that this will be the last entry of the year -- a year that passed by very quickly. I will at least begin the stories of the Christmas travels. My cousin, Mel, arrived in Honduras on Wednesday the 19th and I found her at the airport with no troubles. I thought that I was going to be late and she would get a taste of waiting around (for which I also felt bad because who wants to be standing alone in an airport with no phone number to call, no phone to call from, and no Spanish to communicate with) because I tried to be the usual me and do some research at a store I drove past, forgetting that comparing prices on fridges would not be a quick task. Thankfully I got to the airport before she cleared customs and all was well.

The next day we headed off to Tela, one of the northern towns on the Caribbian coast. Relaxing would be the word I would use to characterize the first few days of our trip. We were not in a hurry. We even took our time leaving the city, not worrying about the fac that it meant less time on the beach. Our hotel was a neat pink building that boasted the highest roof in the town from which you could watch the sunrise and sunset. The last morning I got up for the sunrise and enjoyed the tranquility of the moment until the morning traffic got underway. Mel and I spent a lot of time just relaxing in the hammocks. Another friend of mine met up with us later that day and joined in the adventures of the next few days.

Friday morning we got up and had breakfast at the hotel on the porch that overlooked the water. We then hopped on the tour "van" that took us to Triunfo de la Cruz, a Garifuna Village not too far away. There we ordered our lunch and then headed to Punto Izopo and a mangrove swamp where we were to kayak for the next few hours. Though the tour lasted from 8:00-3:30 we soon discovered that the kayaking was only to last about 2 hours which from our North American perspective did not seem sufficient forr the money we were paying. But in the end the guide's times were off and we kayaked for almost 2 1/2 hours. Weaving in among the mangrove trees, fighting the current, and attempting not to run into the hanging branches (a great place for poisonous snakes to hang out) was quite fun. Upon occasion Mel and I were reminded of "The Swiss Family Robinson." I had never been in such a setting so I loved it. We saw a few crocodiles but only from a distance. Towards the end of the time on the water we came upon a large family of white-faced monkeys and spent some time observing how they jump with such agility from one tree to the next, creating lots of noise while traveling.

After the kayking we returned to the Garifuna village and had our lunch. (Chicken for me of course, but I was excited about the Caribbean rice and beans). We then headed into the water and jumped the waves. I had to abandon Mel though when I saw some of the rest of the group throwing a frisbee around. We even managed to play a short game of Ultimate Frisbee.

When the tour ended, I headed into Tela to print pictures while Mel and Mark relaxed in hammocks or on the roof. I made my way back to the hotel via the beach and took some time to just sit by the water. Later we played a game of Settler's which was nice to add to the activities of the vacation since I always play that with famil around Christmas (and whenever we get together). That evening we tried out another restaurant near the beach. The night before we had been entertained by flame throwers but this evening was a little more tranquil.

Saturday morning we took our time in leaving and on our way out of town (in reality our way back into town since I missed the turn on th way out) we stopped at the Lancetilla Botanical Gardens, one of the largest botanical gardens in the world. I could have spent a lot more time there and will have to go back another time. I am amazed at the number of poisonous trees that they have in the gardens with very little warning to keep people from touching them. The strychnine tree can kill you if you just touch it (I was so tempted to touch it because it is hard to believe you could die from touching it, but I stayed away except for the picture). When the tree is flowering, it is dangerous to be anywhere near it because of inhaling the pollen. Yet the only thing designating the tree as poisonous is the black sign. Definitely not a place to let children walk around unsupervised. The Melaleuca tree was another highlight because of the reminder of my mom and how she stands behind almost all melaleuca products.

The day culminated with a very wild soccer game. On our way back to the city some of Mark's friends called him and invited him to a soccer game (the Honduran Cup game we later discovered). He then invited us and though it was last minute, we said sure. After a quick dinner and getting rid of our bags, we headed to the stadium. I had not been thinking right and so I drove to the game only to find myself in horrendous traffic and no parking. We ended up parking alongside a road across a field from the stadium. I was not too excited about the location because I could just imagine the car disappearing while we were inside. That thought was in the back of my mind all evening. (I of course need to stop worrying). Much to my surprise we were able to find the other people and squeezed our way into the bleacher like seats. I was at a soccer game in Costa Rica but I think we must have had good seats or the crowds are calmer there because this game was wild. Everytime the team Marathon scored, a shower of beer, or whatever other liquid was in the hands of the fans, would fall around us. I began to wish for a very large hat. The game itself was good but I could have done without some of the excitement of the fans.

Thankfully when we left and made it across the field without getting mugged my car was still there. Traffic leaving the area was not bad at all and we made it home safely. I think it will be a while till I go to another game though.

Although I will try to put more pictures on this blog, a place to go and see more of the photos is:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=34079&l=e1a1e&id=678836347

And still I do not write ....

December 30, 2007

Over the past week I have had lots of adventures in my travels with my cousin, my first Christmas abroad, car issues, and other such circumstances. I have much to write about but I still have not been motivated to sit down and write. My lack of sleep is catching up with me too, and I know that New Year's will not be of help. I already said "yes" to going to a 4 hour church service (I think that part of it is a prayer time) and then a very late night, early morning dinner at someone's house. I do not expect to be home before 3:00AM. I am beginning to wish that I had opted instead for a quiet New Year's Eve. I should at least try to get back to camp on New Year's Day so that I can have some quiet moments there. Almost every year I have found some body of water to sit beside and reflect on the year, journal, and pray. I definitely need that after the last few days and camp holds the only accessible, safe place for me to sit in solutide by water(within reasonable driving distance).

At the same time my travels to new parts of Honduras instilled in me the desire to do more traveling and exploring. That and I have several friends doing some traveling right now. Now is not the time, but it has been harder to transition back to work than I thought. I actually might have to travel in two weeks for my visa but my lawyer is not getting back to me with any information on my residency status. Most likely whatever I do will be very last minute.

It is ironic that life was so calm and tranquil up until Christmas but afterwards the busyness set in. Usually busyness happens the other way around. All of this to say that I do hope to write my stories in the next few days, but we will see.

And We're Off

December 20, 2007

Last Saturday, immediately after a basketball game, I made the trip out to camp arriving just before dark. As I drove the sun was setting in front of me which is never good for seeing the road, but it can make a pretty sight from time to time. Such was the case as I neared camp and the sun was setting behind the mountains. At one place the road crosses a river that winds off to the right and disappears between two mountains. As I passed this spot on Saturday, I noticed two boys standing in the water with the backdrop of the mountains behind them. It made me think of the movie A River Runs Through It which I think I saw in high school (or at least some of it before I fell asleep). I loved the beauty and the tranquility of the sight and in reality I wanted to be in the river rather than on a hurried drive so as to beat the darkness.

As the sun set behind the mountains it had the appearance of an orange ball of flame which cast a pinkish-orange shadow across the sky just above the mountaintops. Another beautiful sight except that I knew daylight was being chased away and I did not have much time for getting home.

At camp this week we have had a group of about 250 youth from a program called Icthus. Icthus is an international ministry that works with youth from schools and churches, many of whom are not Christians. I found out the end of last week that the group needed help with the ropes course so I helped out on Tuesday. It meant cancelling a meeting and changing plans that I had in the city, which I do not like doing but it was necessary. I still have cultural adjustments to make for sure. Being content to go with the flow and not know what is going on more than a few hours (or minutes) ahead of time. I think that there are instances when more planning needs to be brought to the programs and preparation of the groups, but there are also times when I need to learn to just relax. A give and a take.

I reached the city yesterday morning and tried to get everything ready before taking a vacation. My cousin arrived last night and today we are off on what I hope will be fun, yet relaxing, adventures.

*Photo: me holding a Motmot that was found trapped in the dorms

More than a Basketball Game

December 13, 2007

This past weekend I had my first basketball game with the women's team I am a part of. Let me just say that we lost miserably. The first quarter we actually had the lead, but after that things went downhill. A big part of the problem was that hardly anyone on our team had ever played together before which does make strategy and plays difficult. By the 4th quarter the score was hopeless and almost every trip down the court was a fastbreak for the other team because we did not know how to guard on man-to-man defense. I was sitting on the bench at this point and really wanted to go back in and try to make a difference (not that I had made much of one the first 3 quarters).

While I was watching the game, one of my teammates began chatting with me and asking if I could help her daughter. From what I understood her daughter (6 years old) is struggling in school and perhaps having some behavior issues. Her parents have her in an Evangelical school and seem to be hoping that she will follow some of the teaching that she receives. But the mother admitted that her daughter sees very different behavior at home and so is mimicking her parents more than following what she learns at school. I did not have answers for the mother at that moment because I know that I need to be praying about what to say but I did express that it is difficult for children if they are seeing and hearing different things at home and school. As she shared with me and asked for help, I sensed that the woman sees Christianity as following rigid rules and living up to certain standards more than it being a love relationship with Christ.

At some point during our conversation I realized that my time of sitting on the bench was definitely more valuable and eternal than had I been running down the court scoring lots of points. I was where God wanted me. I am not sure when I will be able to pick up the conversation again -- hopefully this weekend if we both make it to the next game. I will definitely be needing the words in Spanish from the Lord to be able to effectively communicate what He wants, but He is more than capable of helping me out in that.

Machetes and Making Chocolate

December 5, 2007

Such delicious evenings this week! I love the fact that I have to be bundled up (okay, bundled up these days equals, one long sleeve shirt) to sit outside. I spent a good portion of the evening sitting outside in my hammock writing Christmas cards. An ironic combination for northerners for a December evening. I heard that they were getting snow in PA today which always makes me a little envious, but I am thankful for the beautiful evening I had at camp to remind me, that yes, there is much natural beauty here too. I saw Orion for the first time tonight and once again the Seven Sisters were twinkling overhead.

My adventure of the day was an attempt to make chocolate. Thanksgiving week I had picked up a cacao which they can get chocolate from. You can suck on the bitter fruit around the seeds and then you dry the seeds to make the chocolate. I had already dried the seeds so this morning I put them in the toaster oven and for a short while I could smell the wonderful aroma of chocolate. At first I was startled by the explosions taking place in the oven but decided it was okay. It was just the shell separating from the rest of the seed. I went outside to do something else and when I re-entered the house and looked at the cacao seeds, I realized that they seemed a little over done (and on the verge of burnt). I proceeded with what I thought was the chocolate making process, though I really was not sure. I crushed the seeds in the blender and then added some milk, sugar, and water and boiled it all on the stove. Sadly the burnt taste was too much and very little chocolate flavor actually made its presence known. It would have been great to have made chocolate straight from the bean but I cannot really claim success this time.

The other even of the day – I now own a machete. I need to get lessons on how to safely use it though. A machete is an all purpose tool here in Honduras. You can use it as a trowel for planting flowers. It is great for cracking open coconuts. You can even “mow” with a machete. My uses will be mostly limited to whacking a coconut here and there and clearing paths from time to time.

A Glimpse of the "If"

December 3, 2007

This afternoon I had a glimpse of what could have happened to me had I moved my car out into the intersection faster than I did. I was the first car in one of 3 lanes of cars at a red light and when the light turned green, the cars behind us began honking, but I did not move because I noticed the car coming from the left had yet to slow down. Sure enough as the car to my right pulled out into the intersetion the other car was continuing through the light on red. It slammed on its brakes and stopped inches before striking the other car which had also stopped. Where the car (that had been running the red light) stopped was exactly where I would have been had I pulled out immediately when the light turned green. I probably would have been sandwiched between the two cars, and I can only guess what condition I would have been in. And so I sat in my spot, watching the scene and thanking the Lord that for once in my life I had been taking my time. The car to the left backed out of the intersection and I was able to move forward, being just about the only car to make it through the light. Yes, slowing down can be good and I will continue to try and do so more often.

Seeing the Stars from Center City

December 2, 2007

Last evening I went to my first concert in many years. It was the concert of Jesus Adrian Romero, a Latin Worship leader from Mexico. The concert took place downtown San Pedro Sula in an open stadium. Thousands of people packed into the stadium and as night fell I noticed that I could see a few stars overhead, including Pleiades (or the 7 Sisters). I thought of my family who I knew was together in a cabin in northen PA, perhaps looking up at the stars on a crisp snowy winter evening. And although I did know I would love being with them, I was content to be where I was at. I thought about too how an outdoor concert in PA would not be an option on a December 1. As I sat there I realized that I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be both in the city and in the country. Earlier in the day I had gone on a 2 hour birdwatching hike on some property just adjacent to camp. It is an area that I never had ventured to before and loved the beauty of the area from the coffee trees to the sauntering creek. The only sad part is that it was not recommended that I go there alone so my trips to the area will be few and far between.

The concert was good and actually a time for some reflection, worship and prayer. That morning I had been with God for some solo time in my hammock and been challenged and in the evening He spoke to me while I was amongst a crowd of thousands. God is amazing and His ability to meet us where we are at.

This morning as I went to leave for church, I discovered that my car would not start. So much for days for too many consecutive days without car issues. I took a taxi to the Spanish church I go to and from there another taxi to an International, English-speaking church. I had lunch with people from the latter church and got to spend the time chatting in Spanish with a new friend from Costa Rica. The missionary couple that seems to always rescue me when I have car trouble checked out my vehicle and it seems to be the battery, not the starter which is a good thing. I do not understand why but my dad said he won't deliver a battery to me (I do still endorse Interstate Batteries though) so I will have to head to the local version of Sam's Club, BJ's or Coscos tomorrow morning. Then it is back to camp -- I think, but I do have a lot of errands to run and to unfamiliar stores such as hardware stores and electric stores so who knows what will actually happen. I guess that it is good my basketball game for this afternoon had been cancelled since I would have had trouble getting there on time.

There and back again

November 27, 2007

I finally made it to the town of Siguatepeque and I think I at long last can spell the name correctly. Due to bad weather, traffic, and further delays last Friday it was almost dark when we reached the town. I settled in with the Visser family and that evening met a few of the teachers from a nearby Bilingual School.

Saturday dawned a beautiful day with not even the threat of rain in the sky. I spent the day up on the high ropes course of Camp Cerro de Luz. I was on the ground most of the day (which turned out to be better since I could not reach the cables above me for changing my static belay from one cable to the next), but I got to climb once and that was good. The day held more waiting though as the group was running behind schedule. I filled some of the time with some tag games with the Visser children and another leader. Much to my surprise I ended up seeing someone I had met several months ago in the city and family of friend from Costa Rica.

Saturday evening I hung out with the teachers from the Bilingual School and realized how small the world is once again when one of them turned out to be a Houghton grad. The entire weekend I was with Canadians and British which was neat. Sunday morning I went to market and church with the teachers and afterwords we, and the Vissers, did a hike in a nearby National Park that overlooks the Lake Yojoa. For seven months I have been trying to do a real hike and finally it happened -- and with fun people. I was glad to be with both a family and with young people once again because it has been a while since I have been in either setting.

Monday morning I visited a National Forestry school on the edge of town and found book on trees that I have been searching for for many months. I worked the rest of the day and then this morning, I was able to do some more networking with the director of the camp and get some input on a few things.

The trip back to San Pedro this afternoon was great. I had beautiful weather and decided to stop along the lake for a snack so that I could sit out on the water. Although I am a little short on sleep now, the weekend was quite restful. I got to do a run on back roads that reminded me a little bit of runs with the cross country team in college. With the sun just beginning to set behind the mountains, it was the perfect time and place to run. I contemplated why I am afraid to run on the roads around my camp when I did not hesitate to run in that unfamiliar area, but then I remembered that the only road by my camp is either straight up the mountain or downhill into town. There is no even ground.

Tomorrow morning I head back to Manantial de Vida which is long overdue. I have been gone about a week and a half and I can tell. I plan to spend the majority of my time there this next week, except for a quick trip to the city this weekend for a concert, church, and a basketball game. I am about to venture back into the world of competitive sports. We will see how it goes. Enough of my rambling

The Folding and Unfolding of Plans

November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving Day. This morning I kept forgetting what day it was in the States because I was working here. This afternoon though I headed to a missionary's house where 26 of us gathered for a very authentic Thanksgiving meal. It was not the same as being with family, but it was a good time. I only wished that I was feeling more up to eating the good food.

This evening I had plans to pick up another missionary from the airport and then drive to a camp several hours away where I was going to visit the family and their ministry. I figured that these plans were more solid than my plans earlier in the week, but no not really. The missionary's wife called me to say that the plane had been delayed because of snow (which was of course difficult for me to imagine on a day that feels like summer). So the new plan is to leave tomorrow in the morning. Driving during the day is wiser anyway so it is probably all for the better.

Yesterday I did take a short day trip with the pastor and his wife but we got left around 1:00PM instead of 11:00AM and therefore ran out of time to actually get to the Ecological project on the mountain. We did a very short hike to a waterfall and walked around a park that had a few animals. Eating lunch on a cliff above the water while listening to the crashing waves and watching pelicans gathering for their own feast out a ways, was refreshing. I, as usual ordered chicken, since I do not like fish. The pastor and his wife both ordered fish though. When my grilled chicken arrived I was surprised to see that it was breaded and very different in appearance from the chicken I had the day before. But nonetheless I started eating it and did not think much about the taste until the pastor pointed out that I had his fish and he my chicken. It was a disappointing realization because it meant that I had been eating fish without realizing and I "hate" fish. Another mark to emphasize that it is more in my head than anything else. The fish that the pastor's wife had though was another story. Too much work to de-bone a fish and have to look at the eyes and teeth while eating. I will stick with my chicken.

What will the weekend and trip to the camp hold? I have no idea. I will not worry about making too many plans because it will all change anyway. In a few days I will add a few pictures from the various trips.

Pase lo que pase...

November 21, 2007

Happen what may happen ... . That was the perspective I had this past week as I prepared for a mini-vacation with the pastor an his family. Several weeks ago we had talked about visitng an Ecological project on a nearby mountain and also taking a few days of vacation because they would like to get to me better. Last week when I saw the pastor I briefly asked if there was plan yet, and he said no but that they would figure something out. On Sunday he told me that we would leave Tuesday after the staff meeting. So yesterday I had a bag packed that would prepare me for where ever we might go but in reality I had my doubts about whether the trip would happen. When I asked May, the pastor's wife, what the plan was after the meeting, she did not know and in the end the trip had been forgotten. I did have a brief get-away in that the family, myself, and 3 women went to a restraurant up on the coast. One of the women is a Honduran missionary headed to Argentina for camping ministry so it was a good connection to make. I was glad to see the coast after having been here almost 7 months and not yet ventured that far north.

The new plan is that today mid-morning we will take a day trip up to the project. I am not sure if we will still take in a canopy tour (which had been another part of the plan) or not. My personality is such that I like to have a plan and tend to ask questions until I know for sure that a plan is in place. I followed culture a little more this time and nothing happened. I am disappointed to an extent, but I also did not have my expectations so high as to expect that yes, a trip would happen. Learning to adapt is a forever process I think. I do have a plan for traveling this weekend to another camp for a visit and networking and that plan is much more likely to happen which is good because I am ready for a change of scenery and schedule.

An Orchestra Outside The House

November 19, 2007

Today I have had reminders of home. I just heard that they had a little bit of snow in Lancaster early this morning. While dropping off some missionaries at the airport, I saw some Mennonites and decided to go over and talk to them figuring that they just might know my relatives. I knew that there was a children's home down here where several of my second cousins have been. Sure enough, one couple was from PA and both couples know my extended family. It is a small world!

The other reminder of the north -- well, tonight I have a chorus of frogs sounding loud songs in the "pond" on the street. They bring back memories of hearing the croak of bullfrogs many a night in the little pond outside my house at Black Rock. A heavy rainfall this afternoon converted the street back into a pond and within hours the frogs arrived. Where they were the past several weeks I do not know but apparently they decided that there was sufficient water to warrent their return. Between the frogs, the dogs, and the rain it has not been a quiet evening. On Saturday evening the noise came from fireworks that sounded as if they were being set off just behind the house. Conversation was nearly impossible with my friend who was visiting.

Several days ago as I journeyed to the city I pondered whether it was legal to pass a police car (pick-up to be exact) in a no passing area since they were going 30mph. I did not risk trying and waited until I had a dotted line. Not much later though I saw a police car doing the passing in a no passing zone so I think that I have my answer. This evening as I was driving home well after dusk in the middle of a heavy rain I saw another police vehicle and this one still did not have its headlights on though it was clearly dark outside. I guess that they do not pull you over for that either. Very little seems to be enforced that should be. But I do know from experience that they pull over people who went the wrong way on a street because there were no signs within sight designating the direction of travel. It does not matter if they have only been driving for a week in Honduras. In reality I think it all depends on how the police feel on any given day. One could be fined for something that the police do themselves. This morning I went to get license plates for my car since I only have a temporary one and I was told that they are not making the metal ones right now. Thankfully I was spared having to stand in line for several hours waiting for that very answer. The next time I get stopped at a checkpoint I hope that the police do not act so surprised that I do not have real plates since there is nothing I can do about it at the moment. But we will see because one can never tell what will happen.

When will I ever learn?

November 12, 2007

The words of a Peter, Paul, & Mary song that my sister would sing came to my mind as I thought back on the past two days, only in the song it was "When will they ever learn?" I am back in the city having arrived this afternoon so that I do not have to leave in the wee hours of the morning for an 8:00AM meeting. I headed out early this evening for basketball practice which is supposed to start at 6:00PM. I intentionally left late because I am always the first one there and then have to wait around. I brought a book just in case and sure enough no one else was there so I busied myself reading, "Uncle Tom's Cabin" (more thoughts on that later). Finally around 6:26 I decided to call and see if practice had been cancelled. Yep, it was raining so there was no practice. I did not ask the logic of the situation but it probably has to do with driving in the rain at night. It definitely should be avoided when at all possible because the darkness and dimly lit streets already make potholes hard to see but combine it with heavy rain.... not a good story.

What am I not learning? Well, I keep skipping a good morning run because I expect to play soccer or basketball later in the day. I need to take advantage of the opportunity to exercise when I have it. One of the staff girls, Andrea, has faithfully gotten up the past 3 mornings to run. Once it was only she and I, and I was impressed with her pace. Today I heard the children's loud voices across camp as they participated in some game or make believe. I often wish that I could go back to the carefree days of childhood where the main goal of the day (at least during the summer) was to have fun. Yet I know that I would never be content to return. And according to my sisters, I would have been curled up with a book and not one of the one's running through the woods. In my opinion, it would have depended on the day and the book. But I do have plenty of memories of the night games with sisters and -- hiding in the ferns, dashing madly across the yard, and yelling for help from base. (I think that I did actually yell in those situations. For some reason that capability has escaped me for the most part in these later years).

My work this morning took me outside but not for the most glamorous of jobs. I finally decided that it was time to get to work on the compost pile. The area has been highly neglected and somehow lots of trash got thrown on the pile and has been sitting there for much too long. So I grabbed a shovel and some bags and got to work. The job would have gotten done much quicker had I used my bare hands or gloves (which I do not have) to pick up the trash but I could not bring myself to get that dirty. Partly decomposed food which has not been properly composted does not have the pleasantest of smells nor is it the most sanitary. In the compost area cantaloupe vines, tomato plants, and papaya trees have all been growing because we have not been mixing the compost. I really do not know that much about composting and have been trying to do some research especially for how to make it work in the open during rainy season. I think we have to cover the area but first the trash needed removed. As I worked at it, I could not help but think of all of the children around the world who live in garbage dumps or pass much of their time there searching for "treasures" for survival. What I consider completely disgusting and avoid touching, they dig through with bare hands and then eat with those same dirty hands coming in direct contact with their food. I know that I need to relax a bit on my perspective of "dirt." I wanted to think and pray while digging around in the muck, but it was one of those times where the mind stays rather blank. At least the job is done and hopefully I can educate the rest of the staff enough that plastic trash will not end up over there.

One last thought before closing. As I mentioned, I am reading "Uncle Tom's Cabin" a literary classic that somehow I passed over during my school years. What I find interesting and challenging about the book is that the author does not allow the reader to merely read and pass judgements on "those people who owned slaves" but she asks questions that cause one to evaluate their own life and walk, especially as a Christian.

A Saturday at camp

November 10, 2007
So all day yesterday I was planning for a day with no power as is typical on Saturdays at camp and we have power! It has almost messed up my schedule though not really. This morning I really had no desire to go for a run even though it was a beautiful morning for it but at 6:45AM I heard the sound of voices outside and saw the staff children there. They were ready to go running. This past week was their last week of classes till February and they are celebrating by wanting to run. Children are amazing! We set out on a jog around camp. I tried to give a few pointers on running since it is quite new for them. Perhaps we can have our own little x-country team before too long. One lap was enough for them so we stretched and eventually parted ways. They plan to meet up with me again tomorrow. I should have kept running in order to get some exercise but my plan was to finish mixing up Banana bread and a Carrot-Coconut bread before the electric went off at 8:00AM.

As I mentioned it never went off and I did not use the hand mixer anyway so it would not have mattered if I ran longer. I have realized though that maybe I am supposed to give up baking . My original plan had been to bake the banana bread while I was in the city but there was no baking powder. Last night as I was preparing to bake, I tried out my oven to be sure it worked and it did not. So this morning I carried the gas tank down to the Williamson’s house and set out to cook there. Though the oven lit, the smell of gas remained quite strong and I felt like there was a leak. I baked anyway and opened all of the doors, doing my reading outside and entering only occasionally to check on the bread. At one point 15 minutes passed in between my checks because I was talking to a guest and the temperature (which fluctuates without warning) rose drastically in that time so part of the banana bread got rather burnt. Such is baking here I guess.

Reflections on friendship

November 8, 2007
The cooler weather has finally reached Honduras! Yesterday when I left the house around 8:30AM it was 67F which is quite cool for us. True with the cooler temperatures comes the price tag of lots of rain, but for now I can enjoy and accept both.

So, I borrowed a little book called Dewdrops on Spiderwebs the other week and began reading it. The title captivated me and the fact that it was composed of various essays that are reflections on life. As I am reading it I have discovered that I can identify a lot with the writer, who was a single missionary in El Salvador. The reflection the other day included this statement, “If there is no room for suffering in my life, there is no room for joy.” The writer talked about the pain of having good friendships and then having to say goodbye to those friends. The friendships brought joy but also pain. Friendships are gifts from God that cannot be hoarded. She writes that often we have to let go in order to receive God’s provisions one day at a time. Close friendships often in the end reveal loneliness because they reveal God's invitation to a relationship with Him.

I have been thinking about all of this since my trip to PA a month ago now. Before going, I was at the point where I was ready for some fun moments with family and friends and also some deep conversations. The time there was awesome for that. I came back to Honduras feeling more refreshed and entered into the next few weeks with new energy and new opportunities. I had found a basketball team and some new potential friendships and outreach there. Several of my friends made an effort to contact me about getting together, rather than I having to initiate everything.

As the weeks have slipped by though, I realize that not much has changed. It still takes such an effort here in the city to get together with people. I made some efforts, such as to go hiking but lack of communication, directions, and then the rain ended that plan. I think that one of the challenges is that conversations, activities, and such rarely just happen here. They take work. I do not have enough daily contact with people for things to happen spontaneously – except at camp. And I am beginning to wonder if maybe I should invest more of my time and energy to really building my strongest friendships with the women at camp even though we are worlds apart in everything but age and faith. These past few months have caused me to really evaluate friendship, what it is, and what my expectations are. Perhaps for too long I have acquainted activity and doing with friendship. Maybe I need to be more content to just chat and sit still though my personality and energy level do not lean in that direction. Maybe I need to be looking for the people who could use a new friendship right now and some encouragement. Maybe I need to expand my definition of “fun.” I do keep meeting people, for example a girl from Costa Rica at a Bible Study this past week, in whom I see a potential for a friendship, but I also do not want to spread myself too thin by trying to maintain too many friendships with a bunch of people who I have to visit with one by one and therefore not very often.

These are all random thoughts that are still not sorted out but I know that tasting dear friendships again brings joy but also pain because the goodbye comes with it. So I am thankful for the time I had in PA, but still trying to discern where and how to invest my energies into friendships here.

Responding to poverty

More and more as I spend time in the city, I am faced with the question of how do I respond to the poverty around me? Nearly every intersection on the main roads, hosts one or more people who walk from window to window asking for money. Some have physical disabilities, some are elderly, and some are young children. So often I find myself thinking, "Can't you find some other way to make money?" "Just because you are injured, does not mean that you cannot work... " and so on. But then I realized that what do I know about Honduras and the way things work here? Perhaps there really is no job for the elderly or those with disabilities. Maybe the only way for them to survive is to stand on the street corner. I come from a background where an emphasis was put on working hard and finding a way to get by. Yet I have never really been in need and have no idea how I would respond if I was in desperate need for even food. If I could not find a job, perhaps I would hold out my hand seeking money too.

Although I do not like to hand out money, I am thinking I need to find a way to respond to the people who are begging around me. I do not think that Christ would have kept his window rolled up and door locked, pretending not to see the needs beside him. He would have at least listened to their story. I want to find a way to acknowledge each one as a person, created and loved by God. Maybe that will be just talking and smiling with them for the moment, maybe it will be sharing some food, and yes maybe even giving some money upon rare occasion. Other times it might be praying for the person even with the window still rolled up. I certainly do not have the answers yet, but I know that I want Christ's love to be evident in my response even if that means taking a risk or two. Prayer and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in each situation will be key

From the depths of a toaster

November 7, 2007

It's amazing what can instill fear or moments of panic. This evening I ate dinner late (if you could call it dinner) after returning from a church service. Having been slightly sick the last few days, I decided I should probably eat something simple like toast. The house I am staying in here in the city has a toaster, so I removed the towel from over it and put in my bread. Because it had been covered with a towel, I figured that probably nothing was inside, so I did not look. A few minutes later I heard the pop of the toast being done. (And about that time I sent the banana I was cutting, flying to the floor) Before I could head to the counter and retrieve the toast though, I heard a rattling noise. The sound immediately made me think of an animal trapped somewhere. Glancing around I saw no animal so I looked with fear at the toaster. I knew that it was probably a mouse and though I do not hate mice (rats yes) I am never looking for opportunities to either hold or kill them.

Gingerly I picked up the toaster, quickly removed the toast, opened the door to the carport, and then dared to look inside. Much to my surpise (considering the amount of noise that escaped from the toaster), what I saw inside was a fried gecko. It took a few minutes for me to decide what to do with it. My initial thought was "the trash can", but then I remembered fermaldahyde and regretted that I did not have any here in the city. I quickly remedied that problem by popping the gecko in the freezer until I can take it to camp and better preserve it there. I even managed to get it in a container without having to actually touch it. Thankfully I am the only one in the house for the next few days so no one should be startled when looking through the freezer.

As for the toast, I ate it anyway. And I wonder why I am sick? Later I found a dead ant in my granola which was in an ant-proof container. So much for even trying to protect my food.

I think that from now on I will stick to my toaster oven at camp where you can clearly see if anything is trying to hide out.

Freedom to walk again

November 3, 2007
And so a long week comes to an end and with it, I finally have a vehicle. I was going to take a picture to post it on my blog, but it has been raining all day so I will have to wait until later. It was pretty much 6 months to the day after my arrival here in Honduras that I bought the car. On Tuesday morning I left camp early in the morning to make it to the government office that deals with changing car titles by 8:00AM. Once there I stood in line for several hours. Thankfully a couple of people helped me out along the way or I would have been in the wrong line (again) for a couple of hours. I already had not so fond memories of that building. After those few hours, I went to the bank to pay for the title change and write a check to the car owner. Then I spent the week getting new tires, insurance, and doing several other small repairs that still needed done. I am hoping that I can avoid sitting in the waiting room of car repair shops for several months now at least. It is a great feeling to have my own vehicle again. I now own a 2002 Isuzu Rodeo for those interested in such details. Definitely the newest car that I have ever had. To get insurance here, you have to drive a fairly new car. After talking with the insurance person on Wednesday, I realized that I am not sure how valuable insurance actually is because they do not cover any incident where you do something contrary to the law, such as run a red light, speed, go the wrong way on a one-way street, etc… It seems to me that most accidents are caused by breaking the law though hopefully unintentionally. In this city it is quite easy to go the wrong way on a street since they are not well marked.
As I have been driving around the city this week I have pondered the driving patterns here and my own driving. There were several lights that were out one day and there was very little rhyme or reason as to who went when. In reality everyone was trying to go and hence getting in each other’s way so that no one could go. I am not sure what would have happened had it been the States except that the police would probably show up since it was a major intersection. Another time I decided to stop as I approached the light that had just turned yellow. I was already braking when I realized I should have kept going because the car behind me was still coming at a very fast speed. It simply went around me and blazed through the intersection on red, heedless of the fact that cars were beginning to turn left in front of it. Although the law would say to stop, I was causing more danger by braking quickly in a country where running red lights is pretty acceptable. It is a challenge to learn how to drive safely in a city where most people do not seem to respect the laws and yet also follow the laws as much as I can.

The Freedom to Walk
November 3, 2007
Friday morning I took the Patrol in for maintenance before it sits for several months until the Williamson’s return. Because the shop was not too far from where I am living, I decided to walk home. It was 8:00AM so not the hottest time of the morning. In fact the sky was more threatening of rain than anything. I walked, well aware of my surroundings, keeping a crisp pace in the areas that were less populated. For me though, it is always a blessing to be able to walk again. As I neared my home the rain came in the form a heavy mist. Thankfully I arrived home not too wet.When it came time to pick up the vehicle late in the afternoon, I once again could not bring myself to pay for a taxi when I am in need of exercise anyway. So I walked back. Like a good mother, the housekeeper where I am staying warned me to behave myself as I walked and not talk to the boys.

The biggest danger in walking was probably getting hit by a car since several of the roads lacked sidewalks, but I survived without any close calls. All in all I think it was a 5K round trip which makes me wish I had run it to make it more like a x-country race from years ago.

I have a car...

November 3, 2007
And so a long week comes to an end and with it, I finally have a vehicle. I was going to take a picture to post it on my blog, but it has been raining all day so I will have to wait until later. It was pretty much 6 months to the day after my arrival here in Honduras that I bought the car. On Tuesday morning I left camp early in the morning to make it to the government office that deals with changing car titles by 8:00AM. Once there I stood in line for several hours. Thankfully a couple of people helped me out along the way or I would have been in the wrong line (again) for a couple of hours. I already had not so fond memories of that building. After those few hours, I went to the bank to pay for the title change and write a check to the car owner.

Then I spent the week getting new tires, insurance, and doing several other small repairs that still needed done. I am hoping that I can avoid sitting in the waiting room of car repair shops for several months now at least. It is a great feeling to have my own vehicle again. I now own a 2002 Isuzu Rodeo for those interested in such details. Definitely the newest car that I have ever had. To get insurance here, you have to drive a fairly new car. After talking with the insurance person on Wednesday, I realized that I am not sure how valuable insurance actually is because they do not cover any incident where you do something contrary to the law, such as run a red light, speed, go the wrong way on a one-way street, etc… It seems to me that most accidents are caused by breaking the law though hopefully unintentionally. In this city it is quite easy to go the wrong way on a street since they are not well marked.

As I have been driving around the city this week I have pondered the driving patterns here and my own driving. There were several lights that were out one day and there was very little rhyme or reason as to who went when. In reality everyone was trying to go and hence getting in each other’s way so that no one could go. I am not sure what would have happened had it been the States except that the police would probably show up since it was a major intersection. Another time I decided to stop as I approached the light that had just turned yellow. I was already braking when I realized I should have kept going because the car behind me was still coming at a very fast speed. It simply went around me and blazed through the intersection on red, heedless of the fact that cars were beginning to turn left in front of it. Although the law would say to stop, I was causing more danger by braking quickly in a country where running red lights is pretty acceptable. It is a challenge to learn how to drive safely in a city where most people do not seem to respect the laws and yet also follow the laws as much as I can.

Snow in Honduras?

October 26, 2007
I am beginning to wonder if I am hallucinating. Twice today I felt like I was looking at snow, but of course I was not. The first was on my drive back to camp this afternoon. It was around 4:30PM and the sun was already getting low in the sky. As I neared camp I noticed that the mixture of white and dark clouds made the mountains in the distance appear as if they were snow covered. Dark peaks (which were really mostly the dark clouds), seemed to poke their heads above the snow and low level clouds. It was a beautiful sight in spite of the fact that it was 76 F and the world around me was green as could be.

My second snow sighting came as I opened a saturated and slightly moldy, cardboard container of salt. When I returned from the States, I discovered that my house at camp was very damp and many things were getting moldy. Looking in at the salt, was like looking at a wet snow. Large snow crystals sticking together – perfect for a snowball. I should have made a “snowball” with some of the salt because it contains so much moisture I cannot imagine it ever drying out without becoming a brick. I transferred the salt to other containers and put some spaghetti noodles in with it to collect some of the moisture. The previous noodles were so saturated that they appeared “cooked.” I cannot imagine that I will have any other “snow” sightings soon. It is probably better if I do not. I am glad to be back at camp for more than a day which is what last week’s trip here was. I was able to chat with the other staff this evening and catch up a bit on life. I have a lot to do here before I head back to the city next week

Basketball, begging, and bananas

October 25, 2007
Oh the bliss of training and exercise! For the first time in months (other than my time in the States the other week), I actually worked hard and felt tired. This evening I made it to my first basketball practice. It brought back memories of high school days when I did not just play basketball, I had to train for it. There were the laps around the gym, the 3 man weaves, etc… . I had forgotten a lot. I felt very clumsy and uncoordinated half of the time but it was fun. Practice did not start on time because there was only one other girl and I there (in the end there were a total of 4 of us) but that proved to be a blessing because we were able to chat and I found that though we are different ages and in very different phases of life, there are some common interests. Even in the short time of conversation I noticed that she seems to have a lot of faith questions and I hope that with time, we can discuss that more. She is concerned for her daughter too as she heads off to college without strong principles in place and without knowing what she believes. I am looking forward to getting to know the family more the mom speaks decent English, we should be able to communicate in one of the 2 languages, even in deeper conversation.

As for other events of the day, I now have Internet in the house I am staying in here in the city. Yeah! I was supposed to buy a vehicle tomorrow but the owner has to work now so the final paperwork may be pushed off until the end of next week. That actually could work better for me anyway except for the fact that it means more waiting once again.

This afternoon I heard the doorbell ring and since I am the only one at the house for a few days, I went down to check it out. There was a woman there and she tried to explain some situation about a car and her son, but with the barking of the dogs at my feet and the Spanish, I could not understand very well. In the end she made it clear that she was asking for money. I told her no, but wanting to at least do something I offered her some bananas. At first I thought that she said no, but in the end she wanted them. Her son was with her but neither looked hurt or even malnourished. The woman looked like she was capable of working so I am not sure what her story was. When I brought the bananas out to her, she wondered if she could have my flip flops since hers were being loaned to her. Again I declined, partially because they were the only ones that I had in the city and partially because she did not seem truly needy. I do wish that I had stood and talked with her and tried to listen a little more but all the while I was thinking about the fact that the door was open to someone else’s house for which I am responsible. She left with the bananas. It was probably good for me to give them away because it cost me slightly since they were the only ones that I had left for breakfast tomorrow. Going to the store for just bananas is not worth it and I can do without a banana with my cereal.

I always find it difficult to know how to respond to the people who are begging. Hardly a day passes without seeing someone begging at a street corner or more likely in the middle of the lanes of traffic. I need to remember to pray more in the moment for discernment in knowing how God wants me to respond to each individual person. It is too easy to lump all beggars together when in fact each has some kind of need. I have lots to learn yet about what it means to walk as Jesus did.

Aguaceros

October 23, 2007

"Aguaceros" is another name for a shower, often a downpour. The past 2 days I have had plenty of those. On Sunday I was thankfully in the house when the aguacero came. It was only about 30 minutes of heavy rain but when I left the house a little later to visit with a friend, I found a lake on the dirt road just in front of the house. As I drove, the roads got worse until I saw one of the main highways that was up to the curb in water and it was beginning to spill over into the traffic lanes going my direction. It seems like there are some issues with the drainage system. I realized that even if I did not have to drive on dirt roads in the country and thereby need a vehicle like an SUV or pick-up, there would be days when a car even in San Pedro would not be the best. They sat quite low in all of that water. Three hours later the streets were almost dry and you would not have known that earlier that day they had been a river.

Yesterday I made the drive to Santa Rosa de Copan, a town 2 1/2 hours from the city. I was taking the Associate Ministries Director of LAM there to meet with some other missionaries. I am friends with them from Language School in Costa Rica, so I was glad for the chance to visit them. Some of that joy disappated with the drive though. We got left a little later than planned and so by the time we had reached the mountainous roads, it was beginning to get dark. Part of this was due to the sudden "aguaceros" that we found ourselves in. Driving through a torrential downpour on unfamiliar mountainous roads, filled with deep potholes is not the most enjoyable. I eventually followed a sometimes slow, moving delivery truck, because the driver seemed to know the road and where the potholes were. Though it was a slow pace, I was in less danger of hitting a bottomless pothole. Because it was my first drive to Santa Rosa, I had this fear that I had missed the town. In the end it would have been impossible to miss because of its size.

When we arrived in the town, I discovered that it is very much a town on a hill. I went into 4-wheel drive after sliding a bit in some mud. One of hills was so steep that I felt like I was on initial climb of a roller coaster. Upon arrival at the Wards, I discovered that I ached from the tension of the drive. It did not help that because of sickness from something I ate on Sunday, I had only eaten crackers during the day. I went to bed by 8:00 because of the exhaustion. Thankfully today dawned with sunshine and much beauty. The view from the back porch is great and it has been good to fellowship again with the family.

Culture Shock

October 20, 2007
Time to backtrack a bit to my initial travel day in the State -- October 8. Actually Saturday the 6th I was stopped by the Honduran police at one of their checkpoints and the man carefully scrutinized my passport and tried to tell me it was expired. I pointed out that I still had 3 days and finally he let me pass. A little ways down the road I realized that technically I only had until the 7th since two of the previous 3 months had 31 days but I prayed that customs would not bother counting. They did not, and I left the country without a problem.
I flew into Dulles Airport in DC, and it was not until the night before that I actually had all of my travel plans lined up. I took a bus from the airport to a metro station downtown (the Washington Monument loomed in my view both as I entered and left the country), the metro to another bus station, and then another bus to BWI. At BWI my cousin picked me up, delivered me to her house in the city and then an aunt picked me up from there. And I arrived in Lancaster that night. And of course I still got up at 5:11AM the next morning to play basketball. I hate to miss the opportunity to play though with the lack of practice in the previous 3 months and lack of sleep, I might as well have stayed home.
Taking public transportation in the States is a fairly new venture for me and so I double checked with some of the people on the bus to make sure I was headed the right direction. The woman sitting beside me graciously offered to show me where to buy the ticket in the metro. During the bus ride we got to talking and I learned that she is from France and had just returned there for a visit. I asked her if she experienced culture shock each time she went back, and she said “no,” the culture shock for her came each time she re-entered the States. Apparently she has been here for 12 years teaching French, mostly because she lost her job in France many years ago. She struggles with the differences in culture and is not fond of DC, where she is currently living. As I listened to her talk I realized that it would be hard to be in another country because you had to be. I have experienced culture shock in Honduras and frustrations with the differences many a time. If I was there only for a job, I would probably give up and return home. But thankfully I have the Lord to rely on and to turn to in those tough moments when everything around me is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. I know that my being in Honduras has a greater purpose than paying bills.
As for culture shock while back in the States, I pretty much avoided it. I did discover myself saying “Gracias” to a man who stopped his car so that I could cross the street in Harrisburg. I also reached many times to hit the horn, since I have learned to use it while here in Honduras. The one time I did use it as a gentle reminder to the person in front of me that the light was green and had been green for a while, the guy was not too impressed. I managed to obey the no passing signs and not pass on the stretches of road that would be considered “wide open for passing” here in Honduras but in the US are clearly marked with a double yellow line. So all in all, the culture shock was not too bad. I think though that a week and a half is barely sufficient for really re-entering a culture.

And then there was basketball

October 19, 2007
So, I guess that catch up on writing will take a while. My first day back in Honduras I spent in the city, running errands. I was late in leaving the city, considering that it gets dark so early, and then ended up sitting in traffic for half an hour before even nearing the toll booth at the edge of the city. I decided not to risk getting caught out on the roads past dark so I turned around and went back into the city for another night. Staying overnight allowed me to go and investigate being a part of a women’s basketball team. They are actually in the middle of the season so I cannot join the team but I can participate in their practices which would be great for some exercise and fellowship. Having played basketball again this past week while in PA, I was reminded that I definitely enjoy the game and would like to be more active again. Watching them play last night reminded me of high school days with the refs, foul shots, and pressure of the score and the clock. It has been ages since I thought about actual plays on the court. The team I will practice with is a mixture of girls from the US and Hondurans. Because I am not living in the city all the time, my attendance at practice may be a little sporadic, but that seems to be okay.

Comparison of the woods

October 16, 2007
I fear that I will actually have lots of entries to write since it has been so long, but for now I will just start with my comparison of the Northern woods and the jungle at the camp in Honduras. This past week I have had the opportunity to be back in Lancaster and I took several hikes in the woods at Black Rock Retreat. I love the fall season with the changing leaves, the colors, and the crunch underfoot. To my disappointment the temperatures when I arrived in PA, gave no indication of autumn and the colors were not too noticeable. Thankfully the temperatures dropped and so it felt like fall even though the colors were still lacking.

Regardless of how much it looked or felt like fall, I loved the short hikes and time sitting by the creek at Black Rock. Having just spent most of my time hiking around my camp in Honduras which has the tropical feel, I noticed many differences. The temperature was an obvious one but I realized that the northern woods are more subtle in the sounds and colors. The call of the birds was more gentle. Their size and color blended well with their surroundings. Although the cardinals and bluebirds are around, the birds in PA tend to be less flamboyant and loud in announcing their presence. I have become accustomed to the loud calls of the birds of Honduras, their bright colors, and also the fact that the jungle changes every week. There are always new flowers or new fruits popping up. Change is slower and seemingly more organized in the northern woods where most things bloom and die around the same time. These are all generalizations of course and there are tons of exceptions but I found myself thinking of the beauty of both worlds and thankful that I can experience both.

(RIGHT: Passionfruit flower, Honduras)

Traffic Jams and Culture

October 5, 2007
Yesterday as I was leaving the city, I saw an interesting sight. The traffic going my direction was practically stopped and looking ahead, it seemed like the wait would be long. I guessed that probably there had been an accident. The road that leaves the city has approximately 3 lanes going each direction. It is not limited access though so the left lane can come to a stand still because of people turning left and the right lane can have parked cars so you never really know what it will be like on any given day. Well, I looked over at the opposing traffic on the other side and noticed that some of the cars traveling my direction were over there. Of course this meant that the opposing traffic was jammed up too. I thought to myself that I would not want to be the lead car that was going against the proper flow of traffic. We continued to creep along at a slow pace, as did the traffic going my way on the other side. I eventually saw some police but no sign of an accident and then the road cleared and we were moving again. I cannot say the same for the traffic on the other side. They were creeping along still because there had never been any policemen directing the cars to change over to that lane. Someone had simply decided to try a quicker route and other followed suit. But now that lead car was head to head with the oncoming traffic and had to wait until one by one the cars merged over into the right lanes. It was going to be a slow go for those cars.
The incident reminded me of culture though, and the very common cultural clashes and misunderstandings that can happen when in another country or place. Yesterday morning I had met with a woman in leadership in the church to have her review and proofread the program I am sharing tomorrow with deacons from the church while they are at camp. It was a very helpful meeting because I needed to reword things or express my ideas in such a way that they could be understood from the Honduran culture. One of the challenges of my work is to learn how to share the gospel of Jesus Christ, His work in my life, and a love for God’s creation in a way that fits with the Honduran culture and brings out the best of their culture.

Enter October

October 1, 2007
Amazing to think the year is almost over! October is usually such a pretty month that I welcome it. In Central America it means lots of rain though, which at times is not so pleasant. This year I will get to experience both the rains and the changing colors of autumn leaves since I have a last minute trip to the States coming up. The joys of visas that expire and paperwork that is still lacking the necessary signatures!. The Lord definitely gave me a clear answer though to my prayer about whether to go to Costa Rica by bus or to the US for my trip out of the country. With the paperwork still not in place, I thought I needed to return to the US to take care of more details. A discussion with the Honduran embassy this morning changed some of those views, but I already have the ticket so I am leaving in a week. And I think that God wants me back there for a short time for some reason so it will be exciting to see what He does.

As I look back on the day I cannot say that it was the best entrance of October in my life. On a day when I needed to find lodging and plan for my stay in the US as well as prepare for a group this coming Saturday, car troubles were not really welcomed. Yesterday driving into the city water started dripping into the car from above the windshield. I planned to get that fixed today but ran out of time because I ended up having to buy a new tire since one had a hole and was irreparable. If things continue like this, I may be in the city longer than I had anticipated for the week. I am also getting settled into the house where I am will be staying for the next 3 months when I am the city. Another time I will have to write about my recent thoughts on living conditions, expectations, and missions. A book I just read made me appreciate even what I have at the camp much more. And so in the midst of the challenges there is always a positive side (where I was when I got the flat tire, people around with the tools to help, it did not rain anymore today so the windshield did not leak…) and I am trying to look for the good and not be overwhelmed or discouraged by the trials.

The Things That Slow Me Down

September 26, 2007
So perhaps it is not just the culture that slows my pace of life down. I am thinking that my mistakes contribute to why I sometimes do not get much done. First, of all the power outages continue to follow me. Last night at a Bible Study a transformer down the street blew. The house I was staying at did not have electric either and theirs was the house that I escaped to last week when the electric went off somewhere else. Then today, many things slowed my pace down. The first major one was when I went to the post office. I took out my keys and inserted a key into the box, turned it, and it did not open. Looking down at the key, I realized with horror that I had inserted the wrong one (and the two keys are clearly different, but beside each other on the key ring). Try as I might I could not remove the key. I sheepishly went to the counter and asked for help. A man came and gave a try but left again to get pliers. He finally removed the key but had pulled with such force that he fell backwards on the ground (thankfully he was only kneeling and I think he was being dramatic). I did have mail which was a good thing considering all of the trouble I went to to get it. As it turns out the fee for replacing the lock and key was not much so next week all should be well. Typically I only go there once a week anyway because it is out of the way and usually I do not have much mail.

The second event was with the vehicle I was driving – as usual. I was leaving a Coffee shop and when I went to start the car, I could not turn the key. Somehow I had locked the steering wheel in place when I parked it and though I tried, I was not figuring out how to turn the steering wheel and key at the same time or with the right force. And of course this all set the alarm off so I had to silence it every few seconds. A friend was nearby and drove over and unlocked the wheel for me, but I need to figure out how not to do what I did again. By the close of the day I have realized that I cannot blame the culture for its slow pace when I have a knack for creating situations that slow my life down considerably. Maybe I need to consciously choose to slow down and then I will not have to find unplanned ways to slow down. Just a thought.

A Live, Venemous Snake in the Hand

September 24, 2007

I do not really think I have gotten any braver (nor less wise, though some may contest that) since coming to Latin America, but yes I did have a poisonous snake in my hand. The catch though is that it was in a 2-liter Pepsi bottle. There is something a little disconcerting about having a poisonous snake at eye level, inches from your face with only a thin layer of plastic between the two. I have yet to identify what kind it is because all of my books are at camp. And no, the snake was not from camp. A friend found it at the Institute where he works and captured it. I now have it in my possession, but it is dead. I will probably add it to my collection of critters (all insects up until now) preserved in formaldahyde. I need to move them from my house though because they really are not my taste for decorations. They were tolerable at Kensinger's Retreat during the youth group retreats, but I only had to endure them for 3 days.

Yesterday was a long day, in that I rode the bus from camp to the city with the 12-14 year olds from the church retreat and then waited around until it was time to go with the Williamsons to the airport at 10:00pm. It ended up being a really good day though. While standing on the sidewalk waiting for all of the youth to be picked up, one of the girls from the ropes course group I had observed, came over to talk with me. She thanked me for my involvement and began to share some of what she had learned from the experience. For a little background, the group was really tough. In reality about four of them should have been removed but that would have been over a 3rd of the group. The boys paid no attention to the girls' suggestions which actually contained many of the solutions. In the end the group did not complete any of the challenges that they were given. With such an ending it is hard to know how to bring a reflection time around to the place where the participants can walk away having learned something, thereby redeeming what would appear to be a failure. We talked about failure and success and learning from mistakes. We also talked about evaluating our hearts and attitudes and seeing what God wants to change. During the discussion time not too many shared anything of depth but a couple were able to express frustrations and what they had learned.

As I chatted with this girl yesterday, I realized that yes, once again God had redeemed an experience that seemed to be "unsuccessful" and that at least one young lady had learned from it. And actually the new facilitators who were faced with a very tough first group walked away from the experience wiser and stronger from it. As for me, as I mentioned before, I need to review and practice Spanish more and more and yet I have to remember that God can work through my weaknesses. The girl had mentioned pride during the one debrief and I realized it is partially because of my pride that I never want anyone to translate my questions into Spanish. I want to do it myself but I think that there are times when I should admit that translation would help the situation and then allow someone else to help me out. We will see what happens this next weekend.

The Slow Death of a Light

September 22, 2007
I sit down to write at the end of a long week but a new one is around the bend. This afternoon I observed another ropes course group and their leaders and was able to give some feedback. My involvement in the debriefs reminded me once again that I need to reviewing and attempting to use some of the more difficult rules of Spanish. Partly because of this need to keep using my Spanish more and more, I am planning to housesit for some missionaries who are on furlough until January. Their housekeeper actually stays at the house too but my presence there will allow her to go home and be with her family some. And I will have someone to speak in Spanish with on a regular basis when I am in the city. The house itself is a bit like a resort in comparison to where I live so I think I should be quite comfortable. The biggest challenge will be that it is not a place to call my own or arrange how I want (but if it was my own I would not have all the furniture and such that is there).

Because of several readings in books, I have decided to study darkness and light in the Bible and the other day I had an interesting realization. For weeks I had been walking around camp with my headlamp and batteries that were almost dead. I could hardly distinguish anything on the ground in front of me even with its light, but I wanted to wait until the batteries were completely dead before I recharged them. That is not so easy to do with a light because at some point the light loses its usefulness. A MP3 player or walkman will play and then suddenly shut off. Not so a flashlight. A light dies slowly.

I then got to thinking about my life and communication with Jesus. Lately I have had a lot of decisions to make and some big things on my plate. I have prayed asking for guidance , but it had been a while since I really stopped and listened and was fully recharged. I do not often have intense, focused time when I put my thoughts, ears, and eyes completely on the Lord. Too often I talk more than I listen. And yet to be recharged, I need quality and a good quantity of time or else I will continue on with only a dim light to illuminate my path and reveal the best place to step. The other week I finally changed the batteries in my headlamp and recharged the old ones. What I can see now is so much clearer and of greater distance. If something dangerous is in my path, I should actually be able to see it now. The past few days have been a time to “recharge” my heart by listening with my whole being once again. And how necessary it has been because I have had a few obstacles to step over.

Holding loosely to time

September 20, 2007
Life with its ups and downs. Here I sit in San Pedro with a list of things to do and laundry sitting half washed in the washing machine and there is no electric. Everyone says that San Pedro always has electric but I seem to be in the city every time that the electric goes out. Perhaps it is me. I head back to camp this afternoon and if I cannot get on-line before then, I will probably be unable to do anything till Sunday. I guess that it could be a way of God answering a few of my prayers about what to do with my visa running out next month. Maybe I am just to wait and see and not jump on the current opportunity for a cheap ticket to the States.

I am wondering how much I am to learn to plan ahead and be prepared for power outages at any moment even in the city or whether the lesson is to just relax and go with the flow. I am learning to hold time more loosely and wait, not knowing when or if intended plans will actually happen. As of yesterday morning the plan was to get together with a Honduran friend in the evening. We had not set a definite time though and the plan was for her to call me after work. But it was 7:00 till she called because it was the one day where she had to work late. By that time it was too late to do anything since neither of us had a car. And so the time in the city has passed without any time with Honduran friends.

It just seems to be one of those weeks. Thankfully I have transferred locations to another home where there is still electric. I will be able to make the phone calls and do the things I need to. It took several hours to reach this point though because the couple whose house I was staying at could not open their gate to get their truck out because of the power outage. Even the generator would not work well enough to open the electric gate. These are the situations that make it so difficult to get things done. And I am challenged to learn as Paul did, the secret of being content in any and every situation.

From one day to the next

September 16, 2007
I find it amazing how the way things are going can change so rapidly. Up until Friday, I was having a great week. Thursday afternoon I was in the city and found an apartment I really like – except for the price so I doubt it will actually work for me. I met up with a guy I knew from the camp I volunteered at in Costa Rica and was able to honestly say that things were going well. His family had moved to Honduras several years ago and they admitted that the transition was hard. And that was only from one Latin country to another so I felt a little better about the fact that it has been a hard transition for me too.

I have been reminded that seeing familiar faces is so good. Last weekend another LAM missionary family visited us at camp. I had been in Language school with them and not seen them since April. On Wednesday I finally got together with one of my Honduran friends. I think it had been at least a month since we last chatted in person. I am discovering too that it would probably be cheaper for me to call the States with my cell phone than it is to call many phone numbers within the country of Honduras. It does not make phone conversations with friends here very appealing, especially when they are also in Spanish and I struggle to follow Spanish on the phone.

Anyway, I got back to camp on Thursday evening and Friday by lunch time I had a terrible headache. I thought briefly (and with horror) that it might be from lack of caffeine. For the past week I drank either tea or coffee everyday and though I did not think an addiction could happen that quickly, it was my one hypothesis. An attempted nap did not really alleviate the pain or tiredness and sleep was elusive since the electric was off and the house was extraordinarily hot. Thankfully I woke up Saturday feeling better. Because the Williamson children have been sick off and on the past couple of days, I think I may have had a virus and not an addiction to caffeine. Yeah!

September 15th is the Independence Day of Central America and one of the children from camp was in the local parade so a bunch of us were planning to go down and watch her. But the car would not start. Finally we pushed it to where it was facing downhill and then I had my first opportunity to clutch start a car and it worked. We made it to town an hour later than planned but no worries because the parade apparently did not start on time either. Saturday afternoon I went along with a ropes course group to observe the leader who still does not have sufficient hours to lead alone. In the evening I discovered how to substitute regular sugar for powdered sugar by using the blender.

This morning I awoke to no electric and a gentle rainfall. The rain has continued all day and gotten heavier. It actually reminds me of the other week when the Tropical Depression was in the area. Tonight we are having a farewell dinner along with the worship time since it is the Williamson’s last time here for many months. I think that the combination of sicknesses, power outages, and seeing all that the Williamson’s have to do in such a short time (while feeling helpless as far as really aiding them) have created a more stressful atmosphere over the past few days. But I know that it could be much worse and I am just praying that things go smoothly at camp as the Williamsons pack up this week.

Do I really need a car?

September 7, 2007
For the most part the effects of the Tropical depression are past here in Honduras though I am hearing of lots of flooding in the capital, 4 hours from me. Some of the rivers along the main road to the city were very high but the roads were quite passable. This afternoon I arrived in the city with hopes of getting together with a woman I was supposed to meet with last week and had to cancel on because of transportation problems. Of course I could not actually reach her by telephone until I got to the city, but thankfully she readily invited me to her house, even at the last minute. I appreciate that about the Latin culture – ability to change plans last minute and graciously.

So I said that we had electric throughout the storm. That was true until Wednesday night when suddenly the power went off around 7:00PM. I was on the phone with Cindy in the city and I learned that they lost power at the same moment and I figured the problem must be pretty big and might take a long time to fix (the whole country I later learned). But by midnight the electric was back. It did hinder the plans that I had to bake cookies with the two Honduran women and one of their daughters. But even with electric we probably could not have made them because we could not get the oven to work without giving off gas. We sat on the kitchen floor around a candle instead, ate a few chocolate chips, and chatted. Quality moments.

The excitement of this morning was checking out the snake that the dogs had killed the other night. A boa, about 4 feet long. Enjoy the photos! It was quite comforting to hear that the night watchman thought he saw it on the roof of the cabin next to mine shortly before its death. Perhaps the wildlife on camp is a little too prolific. I had to evacuate my house Weds. night for fumigation against the many unwanted insects. When I return on Friday, I will have to do lots of washing of everything that is now contaminated by the spray. The car issues were supposedly a defective oil filter that exploded so once it was replaced the mechanic said that it should be fine for me to drive to the city. But this evening I noticed oil on the floor beneath the car so I am not so sure it is fixed. At least it has not lost all its oil like last time though. I am considering taking up the recommendation of the one night watchman and buying a horse for my transportation instead. The benefits – 4WD in any type of weather, no mechanical issues to deal with, and if I use my big backpack, I could carry my groceries. Of course the drawbacks are too numerous to mention.