Reflections on friendship

November 8, 2007
The cooler weather has finally reached Honduras! Yesterday when I left the house around 8:30AM it was 67F which is quite cool for us. True with the cooler temperatures comes the price tag of lots of rain, but for now I can enjoy and accept both.

So, I borrowed a little book called Dewdrops on Spiderwebs the other week and began reading it. The title captivated me and the fact that it was composed of various essays that are reflections on life. As I am reading it I have discovered that I can identify a lot with the writer, who was a single missionary in El Salvador. The reflection the other day included this statement, “If there is no room for suffering in my life, there is no room for joy.” The writer talked about the pain of having good friendships and then having to say goodbye to those friends. The friendships brought joy but also pain. Friendships are gifts from God that cannot be hoarded. She writes that often we have to let go in order to receive God’s provisions one day at a time. Close friendships often in the end reveal loneliness because they reveal God's invitation to a relationship with Him.

I have been thinking about all of this since my trip to PA a month ago now. Before going, I was at the point where I was ready for some fun moments with family and friends and also some deep conversations. The time there was awesome for that. I came back to Honduras feeling more refreshed and entered into the next few weeks with new energy and new opportunities. I had found a basketball team and some new potential friendships and outreach there. Several of my friends made an effort to contact me about getting together, rather than I having to initiate everything.

As the weeks have slipped by though, I realize that not much has changed. It still takes such an effort here in the city to get together with people. I made some efforts, such as to go hiking but lack of communication, directions, and then the rain ended that plan. I think that one of the challenges is that conversations, activities, and such rarely just happen here. They take work. I do not have enough daily contact with people for things to happen spontaneously – except at camp. And I am beginning to wonder if maybe I should invest more of my time and energy to really building my strongest friendships with the women at camp even though we are worlds apart in everything but age and faith. These past few months have caused me to really evaluate friendship, what it is, and what my expectations are. Perhaps for too long I have acquainted activity and doing with friendship. Maybe I need to be more content to just chat and sit still though my personality and energy level do not lean in that direction. Maybe I need to be looking for the people who could use a new friendship right now and some encouragement. Maybe I need to expand my definition of “fun.” I do keep meeting people, for example a girl from Costa Rica at a Bible Study this past week, in whom I see a potential for a friendship, but I also do not want to spread myself too thin by trying to maintain too many friendships with a bunch of people who I have to visit with one by one and therefore not very often.

These are all random thoughts that are still not sorted out but I know that tasting dear friendships again brings joy but also pain because the goodbye comes with it. So I am thankful for the time I had in PA, but still trying to discern where and how to invest my energies into friendships here.