July 24, 2010
Today, the final day of the week, I am finally taking the moment to blog about the most important events of the week -- the life giving ones because I know that I had the opportunity to be an extension of Christ's hands. Even though my travels to the States and Honduras were short and I did not rest physically, I seem to have come back refreshed in other ways and so while other staff members have been on the edge of burn-out, I have had the energy to press forward and help to balance them out. And I know that some day, they will be doing the same for me. Over the past week I have sat down with several of the older youth and chatted, sharing life stories and listening to where they are at in life. On Tuesday evening I hung out with the oldest boys, supervising them while the rest of the staff were having a group with the younger boys. Two brothers sat down with me to chat and after the one left, the other one and I talked for a long while about his anxiety over his upcoming graduation and then his desire to study missions. I discovered that at school he is nearly the only one in his class who does not smoke and drink and so he is daily faced with peer pressure and challenges. I was neat to get a glimpse into his life and to offer some encouragement to him.
Then on Wednesday I went with one of the older girls for coffee and we talked about how things are going for her at this point when her life does not seem to have much direction. I was excited to be able to share a story that I told for years during night hikes at Black Rock Retreat about considering that which we are actually listening or looking for. If we look for why our day is miserable, that is what we will see. Instead we need to look for what God is doing and learn to recognize the blessings from Him and His presence even in the midst of trials. Even as I shared with her, I was challenged to re-evaluate my perspective on things, especially some frustrations that I am facing for the week ahead.
One thing that I have begun to notice here at La Casa de Mi Padre is that God seems to bring different people into the children's lives at different times, based upon their need and who they will respond to. One week they connnect with a staff member and the next week, they do not want to talk to that person. I can definitely see the importance of the body of Christ with the various roles and gifts that can work together so perfectly to meet the needs of those around us and to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ.
This week I also spent a lot of time doing English homework and reading with a young girl named Elba. We are currently reading "Charlotte's Web" but in Spanish. Yesterday I listened to the Charlotte's long defense of spiders and their importance in life (of which I needed to tell my housemate today because she saw a spider in the apartment and hates them). What stood out to me though in the chapters that we read was that though Wilbur, the little pig who was about two months old at the time, had a taste of freedom outside of his pen, he was overwhelmed by the vastness of the world and was easily seduced to return to the pigsty with the bucket of slops that the farmer brought for him. When he crawled back into the pen, he felt like his little "house" was not so bad after all and happilly devoured the slops. Of course the very next day he awoke miserable and feeling friendless. I was challenged in the reading to be wary of the temptations that come across my path which call me back to my comfort zone (even though it may be a "pigsty") instead of pressing forward in what God is calling me -- as unknown and scary that it might be. I do not want to settle for "slops and pigsty" when God wants me to pursue Him into the uncharted waters.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Loss of Communication
July 23, 2010
Many a day I wonder if I am still able to communicate with the world in any language -- be it English or Spanish. Today was one of those days. I was trying to help a nine year old with her English homework. Sadly at this moment she is so far behind that all we are doing is playing catch up which consists of filling in her workbook and never really taking the time to learn nor to understand the material. This afternoon she had to answer some questions about simple machines and one question was to identify the machine that records television shows. As I tried to help her with the question, I realized that I could not remember the word in English, nor did I know it in Spanish. I proceeded to ask one of the older girls if she knew the word since she is pretty fluent in English and her thought was video cassette. Knowing that was not the answer I was looking for, I went into one of the offices to ask a fellow American girl for the right word. Her thought was "VHS", which also was not what I wanted. About that time I went back into the study area and the children's tutor (a native Spanish speaker who knows some English) called out "VCR". And that was the word I had wanted. It is rather sad that two native Engilish speakers cannot come up with the word in their own language (It is very probable that the tutor found the word on the internet but still...). And yet so often I am at a loss for words in both English and Spanish. I feel that in some ways my communication with people in English has deteriorated over the past few months because so many times I have discovered that I have not communicated well the question or idea that I had. I guess that is a price to pay for filling one's mind with another language, but my goal is to communicate well in two languages.
Many a day I wonder if I am still able to communicate with the world in any language -- be it English or Spanish. Today was one of those days. I was trying to help a nine year old with her English homework. Sadly at this moment she is so far behind that all we are doing is playing catch up which consists of filling in her workbook and never really taking the time to learn nor to understand the material. This afternoon she had to answer some questions about simple machines and one question was to identify the machine that records television shows. As I tried to help her with the question, I realized that I could not remember the word in English, nor did I know it in Spanish. I proceeded to ask one of the older girls if she knew the word since she is pretty fluent in English and her thought was video cassette. Knowing that was not the answer I was looking for, I went into one of the offices to ask a fellow American girl for the right word. Her thought was "VHS", which also was not what I wanted. About that time I went back into the study area and the children's tutor (a native Spanish speaker who knows some English) called out "VCR". And that was the word I had wanted. It is rather sad that two native Engilish speakers cannot come up with the word in their own language (It is very probable that the tutor found the word on the internet but still...). And yet so often I am at a loss for words in both English and Spanish. I feel that in some ways my communication with people in English has deteriorated over the past few months because so many times I have discovered that I have not communicated well the question or idea that I had. I guess that is a price to pay for filling one's mind with another language, but my goal is to communicate well in two languages.
All In a Morning's Run
July 22, 2010
On Wednesday morning I set out for an early morning run and realized that a lot is going on at 6:00AM in San Salvador. Some of the sights that I see are rather disconcerting if I think about. As I ran through the neighborhood before entering into the park, I passed a house where three very armed men stood outside. I decided to cross the street at that point and not be too near any of them. It looked as if some important (or maybe just wealthy) person was about to leave in an SUV and the pickup truck behind that was probably to hold the body guards. I still have not quite gotten use to semi-automatic guns in the hands of so many people that I pass each day.
Leaving the armed guard scene, I turned the corner and came across a student driver and his instructor standing outside of the car which was parked between cones. Perhaps a greater danger than the armed guards on the roads that I run are the student drivers. The day before must have been trash day because the most common sight that morning was men rummaging through the trash bags in front of the houses, looking for plastic bottles or anything else that could be of value.
Once in the park, things calmed down and I enjoyed the beauty of the green area. I marvel though that I am the only person in the whole park who seems to run clockwise. I wonder if there is an unspoken rule about which direction traffic should flow on the sidewalk, but if there is, I am ignoring it. As it is, I find it difficult to pass people even when they see me coming. Sneaking up on them from behind would require even more waiting time as I would call out "permiso" every few seconds so that the walkers, three side-by-side, could clear a path for me.
Overall I enjoy the moments of getting out into the city to run and to pray. I have yet to run with anyone so my runs have turned into good prayer times. In some ways I hate to sacrifice that by finding a running partner though there is a girl in the neighborhood who I would like to run with one day.
On Wednesday morning I set out for an early morning run and realized that a lot is going on at 6:00AM in San Salvador. Some of the sights that I see are rather disconcerting if I think about. As I ran through the neighborhood before entering into the park, I passed a house where three very armed men stood outside. I decided to cross the street at that point and not be too near any of them. It looked as if some important (or maybe just wealthy) person was about to leave in an SUV and the pickup truck behind that was probably to hold the body guards. I still have not quite gotten use to semi-automatic guns in the hands of so many people that I pass each day.
Leaving the armed guard scene, I turned the corner and came across a student driver and his instructor standing outside of the car which was parked between cones. Perhaps a greater danger than the armed guards on the roads that I run are the student drivers. The day before must have been trash day because the most common sight that morning was men rummaging through the trash bags in front of the houses, looking for plastic bottles or anything else that could be of value.
Once in the park, things calmed down and I enjoyed the beauty of the green area. I marvel though that I am the only person in the whole park who seems to run clockwise. I wonder if there is an unspoken rule about which direction traffic should flow on the sidewalk, but if there is, I am ignoring it. As it is, I find it difficult to pass people even when they see me coming. Sneaking up on them from behind would require even more waiting time as I would call out "permiso" every few seconds so that the walkers, three side-by-side, could clear a path for me.
Overall I enjoy the moments of getting out into the city to run and to pray. I have yet to run with anyone so my runs have turned into good prayer times. In some ways I hate to sacrifice that by finding a running partner though there is a girl in the neighborhood who I would like to run with one day.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
What is the Cost?
July 18, 2010
Though it has been a somewhat long week because of working so much, Lara and I decided to have the older girls over to watch part 2 of the Anne of Green Gables Series which I had brought from the States. After discovering that we still could not get our DVD player to work with the tv, we resorted to putting the movie on Lara's computer yet again. One of the purposes of having the girls over was so that they could watch the movie for real without the voices of ten other girls overriding the sound. As it turned out hearing the movie was still difficult, but I know that they enjoyed the opportunity to get out of the house, laugh and be silly, and to try some new foods.
In the minutes before I took them back to La Casa, they offered to live with me when Lara returns to the USA at the end of this month. They, of course, do not want me to be lonely and so they said that I can be their "adoptive mom." My inner thought was, well, it would be nice to give them a chance to live in a smaller home and get more individual attention, but I quickly thought of the responsibility of getting them to school at 6:30AM and all the details that would go along with being an adoptive mom. There are many sacrifices to be made in the life of a mother. And I tend to forget about them when I casually think about wanting to take in children. Jesus' call to die to oneself is, in my opinion, exemplified in the life of many a mother as they put their needs last and invest in the lives of their children and husband. I am very thankful for the example my mother has given to me. (Actually I suppose this should have been a Mother's Day post for my mom.) So the cost of motherhood -- be it natural, adoptive, or even just spiritual -- is high, but it is an opportunity to live as Christ and to represent Him here on earth as one lives out the call in Philippians 2 to both look to the interests of others and to take on the attitude of Christ. Though there is a cost, the reward can be great as you see your children (again in the physical or spiritual sense) walking with the Lord and pursuing Him with a passion. I think we are all called to be mothers and fathers, at least spiritually as we pass on our faith to those around us and disciple them in Christ. And so with these girls here in El Salvador, I do want to be a mom, probably one of many, in their lives for the time that I am here and serve them and love them.
Though it has been a somewhat long week because of working so much, Lara and I decided to have the older girls over to watch part 2 of the Anne of Green Gables Series which I had brought from the States. After discovering that we still could not get our DVD player to work with the tv, we resorted to putting the movie on Lara's computer yet again. One of the purposes of having the girls over was so that they could watch the movie for real without the voices of ten other girls overriding the sound. As it turned out hearing the movie was still difficult, but I know that they enjoyed the opportunity to get out of the house, laugh and be silly, and to try some new foods.
In the minutes before I took them back to La Casa, they offered to live with me when Lara returns to the USA at the end of this month. They, of course, do not want me to be lonely and so they said that I can be their "adoptive mom." My inner thought was, well, it would be nice to give them a chance to live in a smaller home and get more individual attention, but I quickly thought of the responsibility of getting them to school at 6:30AM and all the details that would go along with being an adoptive mom. There are many sacrifices to be made in the life of a mother. And I tend to forget about them when I casually think about wanting to take in children. Jesus' call to die to oneself is, in my opinion, exemplified in the life of many a mother as they put their needs last and invest in the lives of their children and husband. I am very thankful for the example my mother has given to me. (Actually I suppose this should have been a Mother's Day post for my mom.) So the cost of motherhood -- be it natural, adoptive, or even just spiritual -- is high, but it is an opportunity to live as Christ and to represent Him here on earth as one lives out the call in Philippians 2 to both look to the interests of others and to take on the attitude of Christ. Though there is a cost, the reward can be great as you see your children (again in the physical or spiritual sense) walking with the Lord and pursuing Him with a passion. I think we are all called to be mothers and fathers, at least spiritually as we pass on our faith to those around us and disciple them in Christ. And so with these girls here in El Salvador, I do want to be a mom, probably one of many, in their lives for the time that I am here and serve them and love them.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A Million Questions
July 13, 2010
Yesterday was my first day back at La Casa de Mi Padre after over a week of being out of the country. One of the tias was sick so I ended up covering for her during the day. After dinner with her girls, I felt that I had been out of the country for much longer because of all of the questions they bombarded me with. The dinner conversation ranged from questions about my family to questions about angels and demons. My favorite question from the one little girl Claudia was, "Do you and Lara (my housemate and an intern here for the summer) pray together every night before bed?" The custom in each of the rooms is to have devotions and pray together before bedtime. I explained that Lara and I go to bed at different times and so no we do not pray together. Her question got me thinking though about the many places I have lived and how I could be more intentional with my housemates about seeking God's face together.
During lunch today, I had some good conversation with one of the older girls who is on vacation right now. As we talked she asked about my studies in psychology and then she made a comment about how she always says things too bluntly. I shared the verse about speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and how it is important to be able to share the truth with someone and even confront at times, but it has to be done in love and with prayer. In some ways the girl and I are at the opposite extremes. Too often I err on the side of love or compassion and am afraid to speak the truth. She, on the other hand, speaks the truth but without the love. I tried to encourage her because boldness such as she has can be a great strength and God needs people who are unafraid to speak up. But our strengths are often our greatest weaknesses too and so I know that both she and I need to work to submit what comes most naturally to God and allow Him to shine through us because of a willingness to follow His call and not just what is easiest. I am praying for some more opportunities to encourage this young lady and to share with her more in the next few days.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Surprises
This recent trip back to the United States was another surprise visit for most of my family so I did not publicize the trip. I had originally planned to go to Costa Rica to renew my visa there but the people who I had wanted to visit were not going to be there over my travel dates and I needed to pass through Honduras so I would have had to add an extra flight or bus ride. I very much enjoyed seeing my family again, especially my little nephew Jack, who is nearing the stage of walking and is all around adorable.
I got in to Pennsylvania late Thursday evening and walked into my parents’ home much to the surprise of my mom. The next morning after playing basketball at Black Rock Retreat I headed north to a cabin where my family was going to be as well as their employees (many of whom are my extended family). In a grocery store in Williamsport I surprised my sister. I actually had walked off with Jack and my brother-in-law was going to tell Shana that someone had come by and asked to hold him and so he let the person wander off with Jack. Since I did not want her to panic, I decided to reappear before she could get concerned.
Finally I surprised Val there at the cabin. We had a good time in the creek and on the bike trail there in Slate Run. Early Sunday morning I headed back to Lancaster to share at New Danville Mennonite Church. The rest of the day I spent visiting with friends in Lancaster and from a distance watched the Long’s park fireworks. All week it was interesting to think that I had been in Lancaster last 4th of July but under very different circumstances. It had been immediately following when the Honduran president was removed from power and taken to Costa Rica. I went to the United States unsure of what was going to happen in Honduras in the next few weeks and months. Little did I know that a year later I would be living in a different country and working in a different field. I guess it shows how little we know of what lies ahead in our journey.
Monday was also a day of visiting with friends and also trying to get a little shopping done. My laptop recently developed a problem – it inserts commas when I type, thereby making me go back and erase them time and again. In talking with a few friends it did not seem possible to get the computer looked at in the short time that I was in PA but it was suggested that I buy an attachable keyboard. Since products such as that are generally twice to three times as expensive in Central America, I was glad that I had the opportunity to make the purchase in the US.
Tuesday I hung out at Black Rock and visited with lots of people down there as well as spent time with my family. And of course I was up late packing to get ready for my 4:30AM departure for the airport. I am returning to El Salvador with a lot more books since some of the girls are wanting to read the Anne of Green Gable series and are going to attempt to do so in English. I am impressed with them because for some it will be pretty difficult to read and understand the stories in their 2nd language that they are still learning. I am bringing some books in Spanish too, such as the Narnia series. I hope to use these stories with some of the children that I am working with in reading comprehension. All in all my time in both Pennsylvania and Honduras was good though short in both places. I always find myself trying to do too much and see too many people and so I return to work tired. I hope to get unpacked, do some homework and then get to bed early tonight, but we will see.
Back In Honduras
My time in Honduras went well though definitely it passed as expected – with the unexpected. Upon entering I got my 90 day tourist visa again which was what I was praying for. I arrived on Wednesday and as it turned out I was able to take care of my car registration and some residency paperwork that day when I arrived in Honduras and then first thing Thursday morning. My Plan A and B of rides out to camp had fallen through though and so it was with great joy that I learned some missionaries were headed out that way Thursday morning (40 minutes from when I got a hold of them) instead of that afternoon. And so I quickly packed and met up with them, making it to camp before I had anticipated. It was great to see the Williamsons again and the staff. The Williamsons were in the middle of finishing up the painting of the ceilings that had just been put in. I am happy for them that they should not have so many insects and animals entering the house because it is now sealed.
I was able to spend significant time talking with Evelin and hearing how she is doing. Before I left on Saturday, the Lord put a few things on my heart to challenge her with. In some ways she is doing well but in another sense she is teetering. I am praying that she will fully pursue the Lord Jesus Christ again and make Him her number one priority. I have struggled at different times in my walk with God to put him first. So often other little things creep in that I want to focus on. I can remember specific times when I had to let go of things like basketball because they were beginning to control my decisions instead of God. I pray that she learns, without too much heartache, how important it is to have God first. As He says in Exodus 20 when He gave the Ten Commandments to Moses, He is a jealous God and there is no room for other gods in our lives if we desire to follow Him. He continues to watch out and care for Evelin, including in some close calls on her motorcycle and I pray that she can see that and understand just how much He loves her.
Travel In All But a Boat
July 11, 2010
I am southward bound again. I have found travels to be interesting this past week as I have observed people. On the first leg of my journey last Thursday (July 1)
I found myself in a very long security checkpoint line after clearing customs. There was a security work near the front who would call out words of encouragement to everyone and try to lighten the mood. I think he brought smiles to quite a few weary travelers. When I finally cleared the checkpoint, I grabbed the tram to my terminal since I did not have much time left. I was there holding onto my pole when a jolt sent the man standing next to me falling in my direction. He somehow righted himself before completely falling and crashing on me. I realized that everyone around me was ready to spot me (they must have been on Ropes Course elements in the past) though really it would not have done much good had he landed on me.
I, like most others in the airports, am always trying to move quickly and to arrive in time to my gate or to quickly get my baggage and get out of the plane and airport. My return to Honduras was maybe a little slower pace with less need to hurry. I knew that I would be arriving in Honduras to the unexpected. I had specific details that I needed to take care of but I was not really sure when or how, nor how I would make it out to camp.
Today’s travels are that of the 7 hour bus ride from Honduras to El Salvador. So far things have gone well and when I take the time to look out the window, I am greeted by some beautiful views. Much to my delight the DVD player is broken and so the bus is not overrun by the loud movies playing – movies which I discovered from the last two trips are generally not ones that I want to be watching. I am enjoying the time to read, write e-mails and blog entries, and reflect on this past week’s travels.
I am southward bound again. I have found travels to be interesting this past week as I have observed people. On the first leg of my journey last Thursday (July 1)
I found myself in a very long security checkpoint line after clearing customs. There was a security work near the front who would call out words of encouragement to everyone and try to lighten the mood. I think he brought smiles to quite a few weary travelers. When I finally cleared the checkpoint, I grabbed the tram to my terminal since I did not have much time left. I was there holding onto my pole when a jolt sent the man standing next to me falling in my direction. He somehow righted himself before completely falling and crashing on me. I realized that everyone around me was ready to spot me (they must have been on Ropes Course elements in the past) though really it would not have done much good had he landed on me.
I, like most others in the airports, am always trying to move quickly and to arrive in time to my gate or to quickly get my baggage and get out of the plane and airport. My return to Honduras was maybe a little slower pace with less need to hurry. I knew that I would be arriving in Honduras to the unexpected. I had specific details that I needed to take care of but I was not really sure when or how, nor how I would make it out to camp.
Today’s travels are that of the 7 hour bus ride from Honduras to El Salvador. So far things have gone well and when I take the time to look out the window, I am greeted by some beautiful views. Much to my delight the DVD player is broken and so the bus is not overrun by the loud movies playing – movies which I discovered from the last two trips are generally not ones that I want to be watching. I am enjoying the time to read, write e-mails and blog entries, and reflect on this past week’s travels.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The Call of the Ocean
July 7 2010
About two weeks ago my roommate and I headed to the beach one rather rainy, dreary Saturday and enjoyed a quiet day there reading, writing, and swimming. Swimming in the pool, not the ocean that is. I took a stroll along the ocean and found myself mesmerized by the violent waves that were crashing into the shore. In the time that I walked one length of the beach and began to return to my starting point, the tide was rising and I had to move closer to land. I knew that I could not even begin to fathom the power behind those waves. They had warned us at the entrance that the ocean was dangerous that day with its currents and the pull of the tide. The shoreline was strewn with large pieces of driftwood that had been washed ashore but were still buffeted by the waves from time to time.
As I walked along the ocean’s edge, I found myself wanting to enter into the water more than just ankle deep. It was as if the waves and water were calling me deeper. But I knew to enter in was just plain foolishness. A motorboat that had been trying to get past the point where the waves were breaking had struggled and I have less power than that for sure. And so although I wanted to try the waves and see how dangerous they really were, I kept walking and returned to my point of observation. My mind wandered a bit as I considered analogies and I realized that sin can have that same pull. Though we know better and good judgment says to stay far away, there can still be a strong pull, especially when we get to close to the place of temptation in the first place. The closer I got to the water, the more I wanted to get in and see just how well I could withstand the waves. And so I was reminded to stay far away from those things which tempt me to walk in the ways contrary to God’s calling on my life and his commands.
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