The Slow Death of a Light

September 22, 2007
I sit down to write at the end of a long week but a new one is around the bend. This afternoon I observed another ropes course group and their leaders and was able to give some feedback. My involvement in the debriefs reminded me once again that I need to reviewing and attempting to use some of the more difficult rules of Spanish. Partly because of this need to keep using my Spanish more and more, I am planning to housesit for some missionaries who are on furlough until January. Their housekeeper actually stays at the house too but my presence there will allow her to go home and be with her family some. And I will have someone to speak in Spanish with on a regular basis when I am in the city. The house itself is a bit like a resort in comparison to where I live so I think I should be quite comfortable. The biggest challenge will be that it is not a place to call my own or arrange how I want (but if it was my own I would not have all the furniture and such that is there).

Because of several readings in books, I have decided to study darkness and light in the Bible and the other day I had an interesting realization. For weeks I had been walking around camp with my headlamp and batteries that were almost dead. I could hardly distinguish anything on the ground in front of me even with its light, but I wanted to wait until the batteries were completely dead before I recharged them. That is not so easy to do with a light because at some point the light loses its usefulness. A MP3 player or walkman will play and then suddenly shut off. Not so a flashlight. A light dies slowly.

I then got to thinking about my life and communication with Jesus. Lately I have had a lot of decisions to make and some big things on my plate. I have prayed asking for guidance , but it had been a while since I really stopped and listened and was fully recharged. I do not often have intense, focused time when I put my thoughts, ears, and eyes completely on the Lord. Too often I talk more than I listen. And yet to be recharged, I need quality and a good quantity of time or else I will continue on with only a dim light to illuminate my path and reveal the best place to step. The other week I finally changed the batteries in my headlamp and recharged the old ones. What I can see now is so much clearer and of greater distance. If something dangerous is in my path, I should actually be able to see it now. The past few days have been a time to “recharge” my heart by listening with my whole being once again. And how necessary it has been because I have had a few obstacles to step over.