A Week of Baby-sitting

March 25, 2011
As the week draws to an end so does my babysitting. I just left little Lisbeth with Wes and Cindy Williamson and am now on my journey back to San Pedro Sula. The goodbye was definitely with sadness in my heart because I realized that Lisbeth had become attached to me again and she trusts me, and now I am leaving for a long time. I will always treasure this week and its special memories as I played with her, held her, read to her and sang with her. There were various moments when I wanted to cry, both from joy and from sadness.

This week with her showed me a lot about the heart of a three year old. Tuesday morning LIsbeth woke up sick and so I stuck close by her to make sure that she had the bucket in time no matter where she was. We ended up watching Nemo and then reading. By late afternoon she seemed a lot better so we headed down to the beach with another missionary family. It was Lisbeth’s first time to see the ocean (well the Caribbean) and the waves. She was appalled when Becca picked up the sand, saying it was dirty. And it took her a bit to get accustomed to the waves but soon she was delighting us all with her laughter each time a wave came in and whoever was holding her jumped and held her high above the swell. It was probably only the cold that drove her out of the water before the others.

Wednesday I headed to La Ceiba to finalize my car sale. Thankfully things went quite well and we found someone to do the paperwork and standing in line for us so the new owner was even able to pick up insurance while we waited. I returned to Balfate with no car in my name which felt a bit weird. When I got there, Lisbeth was still down for her nap but when she awoke she was happy to see me but then stayed rather somber. Becca said that she often likes to be held after her nap so I picked her up and cuddled with her. Before long she started to whimper and then cry. She would not respond to the question of whether she was sad or not, but we were pretty sure that was the case. Perhaps she thought that Wes and Cindy would be coming back to her or her mommy or who knows what. Whatever the case she spent the next half hour or so crying and Ellie and Becca joined me in singing, praying and holding her. In the end Lisbeth calmed down and she looked up at me with deep eyes that seemed to hold the question, “Can I trust you?” I eventually got up to make dinner and minutes later she was laughing and playing with Becca. I saw though the raw pain in her heart and eyes as she struggles to understand the changes in her life and particularly why her mommy is not around.

Throughout the week I discovered that any personal time I wanted pretty much needed to happen early morning or late at night, though I was always very tired with the latter. Thursday morning I finally made it a priority to go for a run so I headed down to the dirt road in front of the hospital community to run. It was all good until a vehicle would go by and stir up lots of dust. I concluded the run by running on the beach along the water’s edge. This morning I made that my whole run and ran up and down the beach line. It was a tranquil spot with an awesome view of the water, the Cayos Chinos (islands) across the way), a mangrove swamp, terns, and a kingfisher. I paused in the run long enough to catch three leaves amongst the many that fell on that beach. My feet stayed dry but when I would retrace my steps, many of them had already been washed away and forgotten. Hmm… does that hold true to life and wherever we tread? There are those places and people whom we will forget and they will also forget us. Our impact may not remain visible. But then there are those lives in which the footprint we leave behind is permanent. I want to be the kind of person who leaves footprints that are permanent because they speak of Christ Jesus.

Thursday itself was more of a challenging day with Lisbeth because shortly into the morning she scraped her knee (slightly) and that set her off in crying. It was humorous seeing her kick the soccer ball later favoring only the one leg and maintaining the idea that the other was hurting. There was a lot of whining and not wanting to leave Ellie and Becca alone so that they could do their school work. I discovered that you sometimes have to be creative to get cleaning down with a toddler around. Thankfully she became entertained with an indoor swing that they had at the house where we were staying, but I had to push her every few minutes since she has not gotten the art of pumping ones legs to maintain the swinging movement. During her nap time I finished the preparations for a dish to take to the Thursday evening fellowship meal that happens nearly every Thursday night in this missionary community. Because I knew that I was leaving the country in three days I was not exactly excited about meeting lots of new people, but it was good in the end. Throughout the course of this week I have read Green Eggs and Ham or Huevos Verdes con Jamón more than any other time in my life. It is Lisbeth’s favorite book and she wants to hear it before bedtime and every naptime. I usually enjoyed bedtime though because after reading a Bible Story and then Dr. Suess, we would sing and pray with Lisbeth. Many times she would join in on the song to the best of her ability. Her singing of “Jesus…” or “Worthy…” touched my heart.

And now here I am at Friday and my final days in Honduras. I left the Williamson children around noon today, taking Lisbeth with me so that they could get school work done and so that she would see Wes and Cindy were back before I took off. When I mentioned to her that I would be going on a trip and not see her for a long time, she got sad. I thought that she might choose the rejecting (“well then, I am just not going to love you anymore”) stance but she did not and was willing to hug me up until we parted ways. It would seem that I am a post griever and that the realities of all of my goodbyes this past month will not hit me until later – probably when things slow down a bit. Right now, I continue to move from one thing to the next and from one visit, with its goodbye, to another.