Dia de Amistad

February 14, 2010

Here in Latin America Valentine's Day is often called "Day of Friendship" (if literally translated). Sometimes they will tack on "And of love." My day began with getting the 4 young girls ready for church but then I left them in the care of other staff while I headed to the English-speaking church in San Salvador.

After church one of the guests at the mission house, Kim, and I drove up to Volcano Bouquern which is about 30 minutes outside of the city. It was a beautiful drive but in keeping with tradition, I did not really know where I was going and so I drove past the turn off for the volcano. It was not far though and we got to see the other side of the mountain range. The hike at the volcano was very short but we wound about through the gardens and made it as long as possible. I was ecstatic to find Forget-Me-Not flowers -- one of my favorites.

Just below the little park there were lots of vendors with drinks, souvenirs, flowers and produce. I bought some berries (similar to raspberries) and also a cluster of Calla lilies. In the US Calla lilies are very expensive, but here for a dollar you would leave with a whole cluster.

From the park we drove back the way that we had come (when we first missed the park) and visited a cafe that boasted coffee which had been shade-grown near there. It was a neat spot, though a little too crowded. As we were leaving there was live music beginning.

On the drive back to the mission house, I was determined to find a new way home and since it was still daylight, it seemed safe enough to do. Much to my dismay though I ended up in the town of Santa Tecla which has haunted me since my first day here. The traffic was about as bad as it had been that day (that was the day when my friends and I got lost there as we tried to find a place to eat dinner). Since that day I have discovered nearly all roads lead to Santa Tecla. Amazingly I did come out where I had hoped to and would have probably made it to the house by a completely different route had I not decided to follow the instructions of a security guard at the grocery store who directed me by a road that I was not sure was right, but I followed anyway. We could have gotten completely lost but thankfully the road did come out near where I work. At any rate I am excited to have some new options now for travel around San Salvador.

On a side note, I have been enjoying seeing once again what a small world it is. Kim is from Catonsville, just outside of Baltimore, and the first day that she arrived we discovered that she had been to Black Rock Retreat for Outdoor Education with her Christian school, many years ago (before my time there). But then it also turns out that she goes to a church which has a school who still goes to Black Rock and I know several of the teachers. I love making random connections halfway around the world.

The Live-In Aunt Experience

February 14, 2010

Yesterday I saw a whole new side of the work at La Casa de Mi Padre as I had the experience of staying at the girls overnight to watch four of the younger girls. When I arrived Saturday morning the girls were excited to have me there -- their new "Tia." I quickly pulled out my Dutch Blitz cards and taught them a modified version since I felt like at their age all of the rules might be too much. After about an hour and a half (a long time for 7-10 year olds) they had had enough and moved to watching television -- something that they are only allowed to do on weekends.

I was amused by one of slightly older girls who had taken it upon herself to kill a cockroach that was hiding amongst some t-shirts that had been donated to the home. She would lift each one up with the small, plastic baseball bat and say (in Spanish of course), "No cockroach, no cockroach" until she would find it, at which point she would begin to attack it (or the box) with the bat. Several other girls tried to help with smaller weapons but they were not nearly so dramatic.

After lunch I went with two of my girls and quite a few other children to a nearby recreational complex where a couple of people from the community had volunteered to give them some training in soccer. It was fun to watch the young girls learning the ball handling skills and laughing in the process.

The rest of the afternoon was spent watching television, which of course I hate. I worked on somethings that I have been doing and did a little reading. I decided that the next time I am at the home for a weekend, I need to go prepared with more alternative activities available rather than just watching television. Pretzel-making or something in the kitchen would be fun, except that I had the joy of seeing my first El Salvadorean rat there, scurrying under the stove. I was not so excited about the kitchen after that.

Overall the girls behaved pretty well but I did have opportunity to practice the behavior consequence model that is used for discipline because the one little girl was being disobedient and stirring up dissention. I will be with the girls again this coming Thursday so I will get to be part of the weekly school routine. I know that it will be a very early morning since the one bathroom is for 7 girls who all have to shower before school. (And I think that they leave for school around 7:00AM) I am glad that my experience here at La Casa de Mi Padre will be well-rounded when it is all said and done and that I can meet some of the needs that they have, especially during this time when so many of the aunts are doing their vacation in rotation.

Earlier in the week I had the opportunity to do a team building activity with the girls that involved one girl being blind folded and having to listen to the instructions of the "lighthouse" instead of those of the talking rocks who tried to get the "boat" to hit the obstacles. In the debrief after the activity is was so exciting to see the light bulb come on for a couple of them as they saw played out before them the input that they had received in counseling sessions regarding obstacles in their path and how to avoid them. They were quick to recognize that Jesus needs to be the "lighthouse" in our lives. The connections that they made seemed to go much deeper than those of the older boys, just 2 days beforehand.

Immersion

February 11, 2010

I feel like this week is definitely immersing me in the life and work at La Casa de Mi Padre. Two mornings this week I went out to communities where several of the children's families live to help with the pre-planning for a medical missions team in March. This week I also got to be more involved in one of the group sessions by leading a team building activity. Yesterday I was in charge of a homework group and had the one boy very much testing the limits as I tried to figure out how the groups are run. Once again I found myself helping someone sound words out but it went much better for the 6 year old than it had for the grandmother on Saturday. I found that I had a lot more patience with the little girl too. This Saturday evening I will be taking on the role of a "tia" or aunt and spending the night at the home with four of the younger girls. A lot of the "tios" are on vacation right now and so they are short staffed. I think I will learn a lot by spending the night at the home because I will see how things go round the clock.

The heat and long hours have tired me out by this point in the week and so having a short weekend could be challenging. On Tuesday evening I made it to a small group from the Spanish church that I have gone to twice. It was okay but the guest speaker talked too much and getting home at 10:00PM after being in Spanish all day was too much. I will probably try the group another week after this particular speaker is not there anymore.

And so ends my brief (for me) update on the week.

The First Week

February 8, 2010

I am now in my second Monday here in El Salvador and though things have been going well, it is hard to hear that in PA yet another snowstorm is on the way and I am missing it. I know that is what I have chosen by living in Central America, but I still miss the joy of the snowfalls and trying to make everyone else smile about the snow even though they "hate" it.

In looking back at last week, my first full week in El Salvador and first week in the Children's home, I would summarize it by saying "A Slow Unfolding." Due to the craziness of life in the home at times (after all 35 children living in one spot will create some surprises), the planned schedule often does not happen as expected. I got to meet the staff and hear about their roles and for some, what brought them to the children's home. There are 2 sets of house parents -- one for the girl's house and the other for the boy's house. Then within each home there are also "tios" or "aunts and uncles" who are in charge of different age groups. It was with two of the tias that I shared coffee one afternoon and heard a bit of their story and how God had led them to La Casa de Mi Padre.

There were various moments when Patty, the psychologist who I am working most closely with, had meetings and so I took the opportunity to spend with the children as they played in the hour or so after finishing their homework. They range in age from 15 months to 20 years old. Tuesday through Friday of each week each tio and the house parents meet with their respective group of children to discuss behavior and other pertinant issues. I was a part of these group sessions and will continue to be with them in the months to come. At some point I will have opportunity to share activities with them that can compliment what is being taught. It will be good to put my camp ministry skills to work. (Actually today I was called upon to figure out the new dog harness since I am into camping. No matter that I am not into dogs all that much. I do not equate camping and dogs as one and the same love, especially big dogs). At this point I am still in the observation process, trying to understand the program, the treatment, and the philosophy. Much training and time is invested in equipping the childcare staff which I see as a very positive thing and I am looking forward to being involved in those events.

It only took the first week to realize that there will be hard days when I will feel the burden of the pain and the wounds that the children are dealing with. As the ministry discovered back when they first began working with the children, just loving them was not enough. They needed to address the hurts and provide a program that would help to bring healing and introduce them to the Healer Himself, Christ Jesus. I, like the children, must leave the pain that I encounter as I get know the children at the feet of Jesus and look to Him for the strength and the words to touch their lives. On my own I am incapable of making any lasting changes in their lives. Only Christ can bring change, but hopefully He can work through me to be His hands and feet.

When You Cannot Turn Left...

February 7, 2010

Who ever knew that turning left was so important? Being left-handed, I do know the importance of "left" but today I realized anew just how complicated life (particularly driving) is when no left turns are allowed. I was planning to visit an English-speaking church this morning in an effort to meet new people and so I set out with over 30 minutes to find my there. I figured that really it should only take me about 10-15 minutes to get there but I also knew that I would not end up taking the most direct route. How very true!

One of the challenges with driving in San Salvador is that on many of the roads there are no left turns. And when you try to take the next right and go around the block, one often discovers that it was not really a block and you do not end up where planned. Such was my experience this morning. It also does not help when you are driving and need to read the map at the same time. I knew more or less where the church was but I could not turn left to get there and I found myself farther and farther away. I discovered too that not all of the road names match up with the map and so I passed the road I wanted because it had a different name. I planned the time well though because I arrived at the church with a few minutes to spare. But when I asked the guard where I should park he said that everyone was headed to the beach for a baptism. I was in black dress pants and sandals -- not at all beach attire, and so I decided to save the visit for another day and drove to the church I had visited last week. Sadly, as I left the English church I realized that even with knowing its exact location, I may not be able to return there on a direct route because I do not yet know the secrets of where I can turn left.

And with that I conclude this post and the day. I am putting off a more informative post of this past week until another day because it has gotten too late (and not because I was watching the Superbowl).

Reflections

February 6, 2010

Before I write about the week (hopefully later today) I wanted to take a moment to reflect on two lessons the Lord challenged me with so far this weekend. Yesterday morning I was at La Casa de Mi Padre helping with the Family Day that occurs every two weeks. Family members of the children come to the home to see their children, receive counseling,and/or participate in a literacy class. There is also a devotional time and lunch for all who come. I ended up being in the literacy class and sat with one woman (I would imagine her to have been at least in her mid-50's), helping her sound out letters and even recognize them. We spent the whole time on sounds like ma, me, mi, mo, and mu. Just when I thought she had gotten the sound, we would move on to the next two letters and she would repeat the sound we had just done.

As I sat there trying to help her, my thoughts were, "I am not cut out for this kind of teaching." "I do not have patience for this." And, "Ahhh... not again!" Internally I was battling my impatience and praying that this was not to be the method in which God works on patience in my own life in this coming year. Then the thought struck me, I wonder how God feels when time after time after time, I keep making the same mistakes. How does He feel when I just do not get it nor understand what He is trying to teach me? Thankfully He is patient and loving and He has not given up on me. I wanted to give up yesterday and say forget it to the teaching, but as I thought about God's work in my life and His patience with me, I received encouragement and strength to stay with the woman and help her try to learn the letters and sounds. And my prayer too after yesterday's experience is that I will get and accept what God is teaching me. I do not want to hear from Him and then walk away and forget it.

This morning I had another experience that made me think (I will never tire of analogies I fear). Yesterday there had been a note under the door saying something about the park being in poor condition and so no one was to use the fields/courts etc.... From my understanding of the note, it did not say that I could not run there, but I was not sure. So this morning I headed up the stairs to enter the park and stopped because the gate was closed -- something that has never happened before. I inwardly groaned because I envisioned the worst -- it was locked and I would have no place to exercise. I almost just turned around and went home but I decided to go and see if it was actually locked. It was not and so I entered and did my running/stair climbing. As I ran I thought about that closed door. It was an obstacle in my path because it had not been there before and in light of the note, I thought it meant the park was off limits. And so I was tempted to just turn around and give up. I realized that often in life I do the same thing. I encounter an obstacle in my path or a seemingly closed door, and I want to just give up. But sometimes I think that God wants to see if I will persevere and push forward, not allowing obstacles nor circumstances to hinder me from following His call. (not always because there are moments when God has a door closed and locked and I should not try to enter) With our muscles they get stronger when they face resistance and have to lift more weight than previously. And so I need to be careful not to just turn and run or give up the moment something does not seem to be going quite right. I need to first investigate and ask the Lord what He wants -- is the door locked or just temporarily closed? Is it an obstacle in my path so that I go in a different direction or does God want to see if I am willing to follow and obey Him even when the going gets tough? And so those are my reflections.

Adjusting

February 4, 2010

It is not even 9:00PM and I am quite exhausted. Today was the first day of hot weather (and it was still nothing compared to what it will be like in a month or so) and I think it wiped me out. I did not have a particularly hard or draining day, so I think the tiredness must be do the weather. And perhaps due in part to the effort it takes to adjust to a new place, new people, immersion in Spanish once again,and a new schedule (which varies from day to day).

For the moment I will simply give a brief overview of the week which is still far from over because Saturday is day when the families visit the children's home and I will participate in the events of the day. During the past couple of days I have had opportunity to hear the stories of various staff from La Casa de Mi Padre and get to know them a bit. As of this evening I have also met all of the children though I am a long way from remembering the name with the face. This evening in a group session with the older teenage girls I caught a glimpse of the work that this ministry has been doing over the past few years. One of the girls shared an experience she had had that day which was sharing Christ with a classmate and bringing to her various verses and ideas to help her in her present state. As she shared her story, I could tell that the experience had been a huge step for her because of her own fear. But she had stepped out and shared the very things that she has been learning these past few years. All of the other girls seemed to be excited for her step. I was encouraged and I look forward to seeing and being a part of the many other ways that God is at work in the children here at La Casa de Mi Padre.

Settling In

January 30, 2010

The past two days I have been trying to settle in here in San Salvador. That meant finding a grocery store which carried baking soda and not just baking powder. It meant finding an ATM to use. Figuring my way around at least my side of the city was another part of my task. I discovered this evening that I also need to figure out when rush hour is. I thought that 6:30PM on a Saturday would not be a bad time to run out, but traffic was worse than I had seen it yet. I had to love the honking of the cars around me when there was absolutely nothing that anyone could do to move forward.

I also settled into the Mission House where I am staying (see the photos above). For the most part I will have the entire house to myself but about once a month there will be a mission team staying here. Some work with La Casa de Mi Padre and others work with various ministries around the city. For me I think it will be a good balance of having alone time versus opportunity to visit with others.

Having unpacked all of my clothes, I then set out to iron them and hence get a headstart on the weekend. I am pretty sure I will be working long hours so I wanted to get out of the way whatever work I could during the weekend. I also have beans cooking in preparation for the week.

This morning I went over to the park (also in the photos) to run again and had the opportunity to meet a couple of the neighbors. The community takes care of the park and this man and his wife were out watering the grass. I discovered that there are mango trees, avocado trees, and another type of fruit -- all of which are for the community to enjoy. I am hoping that I can get to know a few of the neighbors over the next couple of weeks. Every time I make a lap around the park, I look with longing towards the road on the other side of the fence because I know that running on a few of the roads in the neighborhood would give me some variety to my run. But as I talked with my neighbor his recommendation was to stick with the park. And so I guess I will follow the recommendations of two people now and continue to run in circles.

Arrived

January 29, 2010

As you can tell I am very behind in my posts so this will be a long one. Last week I spent the week in Honduras wrapping up some details at the camp there and reconnecting with the staff, attempting to see people in the city as well. This past Sunday and Monday I had plans to visit with several Honduran friends in San Pedro Sula but in the end all of the plans fell through and I did none of what I had hoped and planned. I was able to see quite a few people at church though so that was good. My friend Emily was in the city already so were able to run errands and to hang out some that Monday before heading to the airport to pick up another friend, Justin.

From the airport we headed to camp which is actually on the way to El Salvador and stayed the night there. I was able to play one last soccer game with the staff and camp kids and also get in my goodbyes to the people there. My heart hurts for little Lisbeth because at her age it has to be so difficult to understand and say goodbye to people time and again. I was a part of her life nearly daily for 7 months and then I left for several months, only to return for a week, leave again, be back for a week and now leave yet again. She definitely seemed to understand that I was leaving again and did not want to have much to do with me as I tried to say goodbye. I am thankful that she and Evelyn have the consistency of staying on camp and having some family around. Hopefully it will help to make up for the losses of other people who have been in and out of her life.

Tuesday morning, Emily, Justin, and I began the journey to El Salvador. I had heard mixed reports on how the drive could be and the border crossing. We were surprised when all the border patrol did was look at our passports and then wave us on. There was no checking of the documents of my vehicle or anything. We stopped and went in just to make sure that we were not missing anything. I still need to figure out what this means for me keeping my car in El Salvador and if I need to register it here or drive it out of the country every 90 days or what. Hopefully that is something I can work on this weekend.

The drive took about 6 hours which was what we had expected. We had no map though so as we neared the city I called one of the staff members at La Casa de Mi Padre to find out how to get to the Multiplaza Mall where we were to meet up. I have since discovered that I am not very good with taking directions from people via the phone. We ended up driving through downtown San Salvador and after passing a different mall several times, decided to stop and wait there.

We went in and I bought a new chip for my cell phone so that I could make calls in El Salvador, and then we waited for the guy to come and find us. I since learned that the mall we stopped at is not a recommended mall to visit. It is suggested that you do not carry a purse and that you have a pocket ready with money to hand over should you get held up. Perhaps the ignorance was bliss because I was not too worried as we walked around. I did realize God's faithfulness though because on Wednesday evening we discovered that the back door to my Rodeo was not locking(the control box for the windows and door locks was changed last week and now everything is in reverse). So the car was sitting loaded down with stuff, computers, etc... in an unsafe parking lot and yet no one tried to break in.

We finally reached the Mission house where we were staying and where I plan to live for the year. There is a little park next door where I can sort of run or if nothing else get exercise. It only takes a little over a minute to lap around the whole park and half of it is stairs. Basically it will take a lot of laps for a 30 minute workout. This morning I ran there for the first time but combined it with a little shooting of hoops. I am thankful to have a green area next door and to not have to try and find a gym to go to for exercise.

Later Tuesday evening we went out to get something to eat and ended up circling the entire city just to get to a mall that was actually rather close. (And this time I had gotten the directions in person so maybe my problem is with directions however they come -- whether in person or on the phone). Getting home was slightly quicker but still not direct.

Wednesday we stopped in at La Casa de Mi Padre in the morning and then drove to the beach which is only about 45 minutes away. Well, it is supposed to be but I could not remember exactly where I had been before so we took the scenic route and had to backtrack. Just as I remembered from my trip there in October, the waves were big. I later found out that San Blas, where we were, is a surfer's beach. I did venture out farther than I normally do with hopes of riding a wave in. Instead I got so battered by the waves that I decided to just head back in. I have not gotten the technique down of diving into the waves instead of being crushed by them. As I was under the one wave I realized that I was not coming up very quickly, and I suddenly understood how easy it could be to panic and get worn out by the waves. I was very tired by the time I got to shore. The experience gave me a whole new perspective of Ps. 42:7, "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfall; all your waves and breakers have swept over me." I remember reading those verses in Costa Rica at a beach and thinking more of diving into the depths of God's love, no matter what risks that seemed to involve. But this time I saw the waves as the psalmist seems to, the trials and challenges of life that can come upon us successively and wear us down. The psalmist goes on to speak of how God is with him. In the day God's love directs him and at night His song is with him. He says of God "my Rock." And how true it is. God is the Rock, the firm foundation that we can stand on even as the waves roll in and pound.

Yesterday I took Emily and Justin to the airport and somehow managed to get home and to several other places without getting lost. I know that I will get lost many more times in the coming days because San Salvador is a big city and I am not familiar with it. Today I hope to get some more info on whether I can fix my locks so that the whole car locks when I hit the control button. If nothing else though, someone did figure out yesterday that if I lock the back door with the key it stays locked no matter what I do with the control buttons. So I feel much safer.

Monday I will begin at La Casa de Mi Padre and I am looking forward to it. I was there for a little while yesterday and had lunch with several of the staff and today visited with a few of the chidren there. It seems like it will be a good group of people to work with. I know that I will learn a lot and I hope to be able to lighten the load of some of them because I know that they put in long hours. I am excited for what God will do in and through me in the coming months and for whatever adventures lie ahead with that.

January 18, 2010

Little did I know that a simple soccer game played in a small town in Honduras could be such a cross cultural experience. Apparently nearly five months (though not without a return trip) outside of Honduras was enough to allow me to experience some culture shock in my return her. Let me try to paint a picture of yesterday's soccer game.

Picture a small town, set in the countryside, just below the mountains. There is one paved street that runs through the center of town. This is Pinalejo. Like every small town in Honduras, Pinalejo has its soccer fields. The soccer fields are used almost exclusively for "futbol" (soccer) unlike the basketball court which becomes both a place to play soccer and a place to dry coffee beans. These fields are littered with trash and cow patties, the latter of which you try to avoid when running around.

Yesterday I joined my friend Evelin and her team in a game against another local team, the latter of which was composed of primarily high school age girls. I was given a uniform and the opportunity to jump in the game, no questions asked. The first real culture shock came when I approached the goal my team was trying to score in. There was no net to stop the ball which is a non-essential anyway. The distracting part was that no less than a dozen persons stood within the goal posts (some even leaning on the front posts)watching the game. There was no concern that an attempted goal might hit one of them in the face. I suppose that they were all prepared and alert. (At least I would hope so). Nonetheless there is something a bit awkward with shooting at a dozen people, among whom the goalie blends in. Boundary lines were non-existent but somehow the referee knew when to blow the whistle. I certainly did not know when to stop running.

I really am not that great a soccer player but I know how to run and so I ran and had wonderfull missed shots on goal. I prefer to pass rather than shoot which probably frustrated the majority of players who are more accustomed to the latter. Supposedly the two halves of the game were 45 minutes but the coach seemed think that the ref was not actually keeping time. It seemed that way to me, both as I played and then stood on the sideline. The team I played with won 8-0. We definitely had more passion for the game and quite a few of the girls had some good skills. At one point I saw one of the other team's players looking at her cell phone, hopefully only reading a text message and not sending one, during the middle of the game.

I enjoyed the game and the opportunity to see a bit of the life in Pinalejo that I had not glimpsed before when I was in Honduras. Though there were differences in the structure of the game and the rules, the heart of the game of soccer in Honduras is the same. I was honored to be able to step into their world for a few moments and participate with them.

Adjusting

January 16, 2010

Here I am in Honduras getting reacquainted with some of the joys and challenges. I awoke this morning at 6:00AM to the sound of Spanish over a loud system and I could not remember where I was – as in which country. Then I remembered it was the weekend and there is a group on camp. I have been excited that the temperatures are not as hot as some times and so going from a PA winter to the tropics is not so bad. It is still hard to remember that last week I was playing ice hockey on a frozen pond. This week the only thing I have been hitting at (with a mop, not a hockey stick) are giant ants which swarmed the kitchen.

Yesterday morning I headed to my mechanic to pick up my car. For the most part everything was working except that I now cannot put down my driver’s side window – before it was just all of the others that I was not able to control from my seat. I hope to get the window fixed before heading to El Salvador because anytime I pass through either a toll or police checkpoint, I will have to open my door instead of the window. It could be quite inconvenient at times. If an electrical shop cannot fix the problem, I will have to try and quickly order the part so that it can come down with one of my friends.

When I arrived at camp yesterday afternoon, there was no electric but thankfully it did come on in time for me to put my groceries in the fridge. I then headed down to Pinalejo with Evelin and several of the younger children on camp so that I could join Evelin’s soccer team in their practice. It looks as if I will be playing on their team tomorrow afternoon. Soon volleyball will be the only sport left in which I have not played on a team in Honduras (of the most common sports that is).

My other main challenge of the day was cooking. I went to town in the morning to buy a new chimbo (tank) of gas for the stove and planned to put a chicken in the oven to bake. That way I would not have to touch it much until after it was cooked. I hate the slime of chicken skin and parts so as little contact as I have with it, the better. Well, I turned the oven on to preheat and soon the smell of gas was overwhelming. Several people tried to help me fix the connection so that it would not leak and it was better but I could still hear gas escaping. I cooked the chicken for a while and then decided the gas would have to be turned on too long to bake it and so I pulled it out, cut it up and cooked it on the stovetop. What a mess! I suppose that the oven not working so well might help me to not do so much baking and thereby focus on more important things, such as people. In reality sharing baked goods with people is no substitute for sitting down and talking with people.

And that sums up the events, more or less, of two days back in Honduras. Oops, not quite. I was in bed ready to turn off the light when I noticed a block spot up on the wall -- a scorpion. And so I went downstairs in search of something to knock it down with and then set out to kill it, which I hate to do, though mostly because of the gore. And then I slept, without nightmares of scorpions.

A Day of Snowflakes Vs. Snow Flurries

January 14, 2010

I know that I should not be starting an entry on snow from the Miami airport, but though the topic has been brewing in my head for weeks, I have not made the time to record it. Airports are good for that sort of thing.

About two weeks ago now, I looked outside the window one afternoon and saw lots of flurries blowing around. A few days later I drove through a light snow early one morning where the snow came down steadily enough that they settled down. When I watched the flurries blowing aimlessly around, never really finding a place to land or rest, I realized that I did not want to be like a snow flurry. They seem to lack purpose and just drift. There are never enough to accumulate and transform their environment. That is where the snowflakes (or really a day with snow shower) are different.

The snowflakes do blow around and as you are driving into the oncoming snow, you see just how much the wind directs them. And yet they land. They stick together. They turn a dirty, cold world into a beautiful place. They reflect the sunlight and at times even seem to sparkle. They bring transformation. I want to be snowflake. I want to be a vessel through which God transforms those around me because He is in me and is continuing to transform me.

Fare Thee Well

January 13, 2010

Today is departure day. Departure from family, the winter, friends, sports, and in many ways comfort. But today is also a new day and a day of beginnings. Beginning on a journey that I cannot see the ending to. The beginning of heading to a new country and settling down there for a year. The beginning of a new area of ministry -- exploring the field of counseling and intentional work with children and their families. And so the day carries mixed emotions.

Up until last night excitement was the emotion that most coursed through my body. I was ready to move forward and past the season of waiting. I was ready begin the new journey. Then last evening I held my little nephew and realized just how much he will change in the next 3 months to a year (depending on how much time elapses before I pass through PA again). Reality hit home as to all that I am leaving behind in Lancaster and with that the sadness came.

And yet today as I left, the excitement was there again -- just more tempered than before. I know that God has plans for me that require this new step forward even though there is pain in the letting go. He has been faithful in the past and will be faithful again to sustain me.

Tonight I arrive in Miami and will visit with the LAM headquarters tomorrow before flying out in the evening for Honduras. Then I will have almost twelve days in Honduras before driving to El Salvador. Thankfully many of the details for El Salvador are coming together and I should have a place to live. I have friends to do the drive with me and I am working on getting all of the papers I need for residency since the leaving the country every 90 days might not work if the government starts issuing only a 30 day tourist visa.

The journey has begun and I bid a fare thee well to all those I had the pleasure of connecting with during my time in the United States and to those who I was not able to see though I had hoped our paths would cross.

A Bit Disconcerting

January 13, 2010

Catch up time on blogs so here come a bunch of entries that I have wanted to write for some time. Last Friday afternoon I parked in downtown Lancaster and walked over to market to try and connect with someone about selling jewelry from Honduras. As I turned onto Orange St. and headed north towards Prince St., I noticed several cops on foot walking towards me. On the other side of the street there more more policemen and policewomen looking around as they walked along the sidewalk. Farther up the street more policemen scanned the roads and avenues, and I began to wonder who they were looking for and just what the person had down. I walked past the officers and rounded Prince, only to see a police car go by and then more police ahead. I was glad to get inside at the Prince Street Cafe and leave behind whatever was brewing on the streets of Lancaster. My conversation only lasted a few minutes though and I was back on the streets. As I walked quickly back to my car, well aware of my surroundings (and the fact that the police were still on the streets), my imagination ran away with the possibilities of what could happen if someone suddenly ran out with a gun right by where I was standing.

Thankfully nothing happened and hopefully the police found whoever they were looking for, but I did find the situation a bit disconcerting -- having never needed to be so aware of my surroundings in Lancaster. I expect it in Honduras or El Salvador but not so much in my hometown.

The Countdown

January 4, 2010

The countdown for 2010 is seemingly long past (4 days ago seems like ages ago), but the countdown for my departure for Honduras and then El Salvador is still running. Today I was able to confirm my meetings in Miami with Latin America Mission and so I bought my ticket for leaving PA next Wednesday. I am excited to be going and to see what all God has planne for me in the coming year. I sense that it will be a year of growing and refining as I am stretched by taking on new responsibilities and stepping out into new areas.

I will have a little over a week in Honduras before leaving for El Salvador on the 26th of January. As of now I have no idea where I will actually be living in San Salvador and am waiting to hear about apartment options. I think the first few weeks could be interesting and certainly not boring. I am looking forward to having some time to reconnect with friends in Honduras, use my Spanish again, and organize a few things at camp yet.

I cannot help but hope for one last snowstorm before I leave or if not that, then ice on the ponds for skating. Winter sports are still rare enough in my life that I love them. If I live to be 90 or 100, I hope to still be throwing snowballs at the least but preferably sledding, cross country skiing, and ice skating. One can dream...

Learning from the Little Children

December 22, 2009

Little children – they have so much to teach us. The past 2-3 weeks I have had more opportunity than usual to hang out with young children and I learned a lot. I discovered just how off their sense of time is. One four year old who I put down or a nap said she would probably sleep for 3 hours or so (after I told her that she needed to be in her bed for half an hour). When I went in to check on her half an hour later, she was up and playing with her toys. Apparently the “three hours” had passed quickly. My nephew is still too young to say anything, but he knows how to smile and delight his family.

I have also spent a few days at Mom’s House, an outreach to single moms in Lancaster. They were short-staffed several days and so I helped out in the toddler room. I had fun reading with them and watching them run circles in the playground area in the middle of the winter cold. One little girl of about 18 months would continually fall over but it did not daunt her. She picked herself up and ran again, smiling all the while. They delighted in seeing the birds fly overhead and roost in nearby trees.

Snow Gently Falling ...

December 22, 2009

And I am on the road again – which is why I actually have time to write on my blog. This past weekend I could not because I had to take advantage of the foot plus of snow that had blanketed Lancaster County. How delightful it was! Saturday morning before they had plowed the roads in my parents’ development I cross country skied over to my sister’s house to see my nephew and then to the grocery store. At the store I carried the skis inside which I am sure was a sight to see but I knew that they would freeze up if I did not and then I would not be able to get my boots snapped in. I did some shoveling and baking and then in the evening went to a Christmas party in town. I discovered that I enjoyed driving on the snow covered roads and that the world was even more beautiful when I got out of the development. Though we did not get to play any games of Frisbee, we used a glow-in-the-dark Frisbee to throw around on the snow covered Duke St. and nearby parking lot.

On Sunday morning I went to a church service in Lancaster and then to visit a friend. In the afternoon I had hoped to play Ultimate Frisbee in the snow but it seemed that no one was showing up so I instead went down to May Post Office Road to do some sledding with camp friends. Probably the best part was building several tunnels since I only did that once before, way back in high school.

Monday morning I made it to a nearby park to do some more cross country skiing before heading out to help my parents by delivering Interstate Batteries. I ended up being on the road all day and by the time I finished it was dusk so the parks were closed to skiing. But thankfully I was down near Quarryville so I got permission to ski around Black Rock. It was good exercise before this long car ride. I should probably describe my skiing as snow plowing instead because the snow was so deep I had to make tracks and then the second time through I could move more quickly.

Needless to say I am ever so thankful for the unexpected, huge snow. I did not have my hopes up because I really have not seen real snow in over 3 years and I figured that this year would be no different. And so my excitement is making up for the many others who were not so keen on the heavy snowfall. I do wish though that I could have helped others shovel a little more so that they could appreciate the beauty and the fun of the snow more.

Snow, Glorious Snow

December 5, 2009

I know that the word "glorious" should probably not be used in conjunction with snow but it is how I feel. If "glorious" can be used to describe a day, then I think it fits snow. In reality though, it should probably be reserved for the Creator of snow and each day -- the Lord God Almighty. Nonetheless I am excited about the snow that fell today. I remembered back 8 years ago when an early December snow provided enough ground cover to construct a snowman of more than 10 feet in heighth in front of my dad's wharehouse. That was a very fun snow. Today's snow gave enough beauty to make a walk around Millersville University new and exciting.

This past week was quite full of activities. I had a workshop with the Life Coach Training I am taking and it was 10 hours on the phone for lecture and conversation with my peers. I never liked telephones that much before and my opinion did not change on that after so many hours at the phone. It was good information and practice though so I am glad I participated in the workshop.

On Tuesday I was able to get to Landis Homes before a meeting near there and so I visited with several women from my church. I was inspired as I talked with the one woman who is nearly 97 years old and has lost most of her vision but yet she can still bring humor into conversations and make others smile. Although at times she wonders why God has her still here on earth, she has not given up hope and presses on each day. I hope that if I ever live to be that age, I too can bring joy to others and live out the hope of Christ.

The week brought continued waiting which can be challenging at times and yet there was the call too to continue trusting that the Lord is indeed guiding my footsteps. As I write these thoughts, the words of a praise song come to mind, "I will not be shaken, I will not be moved." As I wait, I must trust and stand firm in the Lord.

And to close, a few pictures from Thanksgiving last week which was a good time. I have not posted enough pictures with my nephew Jack whose smiles are becoming more frequent and dear. On Black Friday my family went in to Central Market and there we saw the beautiful flowers.

I Remember Why Not to Participate in Black Friday Sales...

November 28, 2009

On Thanksgiving Day I was looking through the newspaper's advertisements and saw some really good sales at Best Buy -- which in light of the issues I have been having with computers were very inviting. I do not know when I last went to any store first thing on Black Friday, but for some reason I thought, "well, maybe I could swing by the store before playing basketball at 6:00AM at Black Rock Retreat." I only needed to get up half an hour earlier to pass by the store so I decided to see if by chance the lines at the store were not outrageously long.

Friday morning I got up very early and headed into Lancaster to see if I coud run in and out of Best Buy quickly. Because I was going to arrive before 5:00AM when Best Buy opened, I decided to see if Old Navy had slowed down. They were supposed to open around 3:00AM so I figured that the lines should have died down. I entered the store and gazed in horror at the checkout line. It extended from the front of the store to the back of the store. I knew exactly what jeans I needed were I to buy them but one look at the line and I knew I was not going to be making any purchases that day. I was appalled to at the disarray of the store. It looked as if people would grab an item, not want it, and just throw it on a pile somewhere. The sales persons could not keep up with the vast traffic flow.

I left Old Navy and drove over to Best Buy knowing that I would not be getting out of my car. Sure enough, as I entered the parking lot, I saw it was full. I could see a sea of people beginning to enter the store. And the line was long. I drove closer and closer to the store because I wanted to see just how long the line was. I saw that that the line wrapped around at least one side of the building and I would not have been surprised if it nearly wrapped around the entire exterior of the store. Needless to say I turned around and left and went to basketball early, having some good quiet time. I remembered why I do not participate in the Black Friday store stampedes. I doubt I will bother getting up early again on Black Friday. I much more enjoy the casual pace of my family on Black Friday which includes going to Central Market, a chocolate store and then relaxing at home.

Adventures with Friends

November 21, 2009

I am beginning to discover that adventures with friends do not have to be some big event or excursion -- it can be simply talking and re-connecting or even playing with their children. On Wednesday I caught a ride to Chicago with one friend and then visited friends who I met in language school in Costa Rica. The middle of the three young boys, Samuel, was a bundle of energy and creativity. He turned the playground into a castle where there sat an evil king. It made me look forward to the years ahead when my nephew is old enought to play and create imaginary worlds.

Through conversation with my friends (the grown-ups that is), the Lord began to speak to my heart and show me the possible implications of studies versus and internship in El Salvador. He did some convicting in my heart, and so as I find myself moving in the direction of El Salvador, I have a renewed excitement for heading that way. There is still a week or more of waiting before I will know if I can go, while the details of the internship are ironed out and I have more chats with those involved. I feel okay with waiting though and am excited to see what God will do.

I am thankful that these past few months has been a time of reconnecting with friends and at times hearing God speak through others. Other times I have been the one who has been able to encourage and challenge my friends. I love how the body of Christ works and how we are in this journey through life together to spur one another on.

Setting Sail

November 16, 2009

Through sermons, dreams, and a retreat, God has been speaking to me about setting sail during this past week. I love when God speaks to me on the same theme from more than one source. Yesterday's sermon was a look at Abraham and God's command to take his son Issac and sacrifice him on the altar. Abraham obeyed the Lord and was on the verge of killing his son when an angel of the Lord stopped him. The Lord had been testing his willingness to obey and to risk losing his only son, the very promise of God. Abraham's faith stood the test, but the challenge for me was whether I am willing to sacrifice the "Issacs" in my life -- those things which I hold on to and sometimes hold as dearer than Jesus. Can I trust God's call to go to a mountain and place on the altar my dearest and my best?

This sermon and then the teachings regarding boats and sailing have all pointed towards the idea of risk. What risk am I willing to take in following Christ? Sometimes I just want to sit in the boat on dry land instead of risking the open sea and the storms that may come up there. And yet a boat is not meant for the land nor even for sitting at the dock forever. It is designed to sail on the waters and go into unchartered territory. I sense that God is calling me to move out on the water with Him. A neat analogy that I heard the other week at a retreat was how Jesus is like the anchor of our boat. The anchor goes with us wherever we go but we need to keep a firm grip on it. As long as the anchor is with us, we can set up home almost anywhere since the anchor will keep us grounded. As I have been pondering various options for my next step in life, this idea has been comforting because I know that wherever I end up, the Lord will be with me and I can be at home there.

I also keep coming back to an idea that comes out of C. S. Lewis's book, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The oldest girl Susan says to the Beavers regarding Aslan, "But is he safe?" to which they reply, "Of course he is not safe; he is Aslan, but he is good." (Hopefully I have that quoted correctly). Those words have been in my mind because all too often my first question when considering a new idea or option is, "Is it safe?" It is not, "Is God in it?" I want to know that I will be safe. But the Lord does not promise that we will be safe from pain and suffering nor even death. Those are all a part of life. As I follow His call for my life, I will encounter danger but I remain safe because I am in His loving arms and as Romans 8:35-39 point out, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. And so my prayer is that I will not look so much at the question of safety and comfort but instead ask where God is at work and where He wants me to be. I want to be in the adventure of following Him into the unknown because I know that He is bigger than the wind and the waves and that He is right there with me.

Catch Up

November 16, 2009

I seem to be playing catch up in many areas of my life these days -- perhaps communication more than anything. I got back to Pennsylvania on November 6 after my travels in Central America. Thankfully in Honduras I was able to finish up everything that I needed to and saw Evelin and Lisbeth established in a cabin at camp to live for a while. Coming back to PA, I jumped into a whirlwind of activities and presentations. Last week at the top of my "To-Do" list was figuring out what my next step is. By the close of the week I felt a peace about pursuing El Salvador and a one year internship there with La Casa de Mi Padre (My Father's House). It is an opportunity to work with children and their families and participate in counseling and therapy with them. So I am moving in that direction while recognizing that the Lord could still close doors and I may go ahead with further schooling here in the US.

This past weekend I made a quick trip north to share with a church and visit some friends and supporters. When a college friend who I had not seen for years greeted me after the church service, I was reminded of how small the world is. I think that everytime I travel I am reminded of that. I realized too that I love to travel and reconnect with people or meet new people. At the same time it is good to be back in Lancaster for a few days at least.

Last week I enjoyed seeing my family again, especially my nephew who learned to smile intentionally during the three weeks that I had been out of the country. I am blessed to have been in Lancaster so much over the past 3 months and that all of my immediate family is around this month.

In the Midst of Moving

November 3, 2009

Today was the big moving day though tomorrow will carry some smaller moves. The majority of my things I moved out to camp for Evelin to use for a while and so this afternoon we drove to camp with my Isuzu Rodeo loaded down and another little truck. They were very full. I had acquired furniture from my previous roommate so there was quite a lot to move. It is now late and I am very tired but with papers to organize so sleep is still not within reach. Evelin has the hardest job though of re-organizing the cabin to accomodate her and Lisbeth. Right now I am too busy to really think about all that is happening and the implications of moving out of Honduras for the moment. I think when I sit down on the plane on Thursday, all of the emotions will finally hit. I hope that I will at that point have time to better process and pray about the opportunities in El Salvador and those here in Honduras.

Well, that is my very brief update but at least you can know that I am still alive and running around -- driving around that is. I have not been able to do much running which is sad.

In El Salvador

October 27, 2009

So here I am in El Salvador, exploring what life might be like here in this country. I have been visiting in particular a ministry called "La Casa de Mi Padre" (My Father´s House). It works with children who have been pulled from their homes by the government for various family situations. But not only does it give a home and therapy to the children, it also works with the parents to restore a relationship there and equip them so that there children can return to live with them. I have been very impressed thus far by what I have seen. They seem to do a great job in restoring the lives of the children. And so I am praying about whether I might be able to work with them for about a year and learn from how they do things. Yesterday I went with the missionary, Kathryn, to a home about an hour outside of the city. Habitat for Humanity had constructed a house for the mother there and she has been learning how to read and write as well as basic life skills.

Tomorrow I will visit another ministry in the mountains of El Salvador in a community that is dark because of spiritual oppression. After talking with the LAM ministries director who is also here, I think that La Casa de Mi Padre would be a much better fit than the this place I will go tomorrow. But we will see what the Lord wants to teach me through the experience and how he wants to work through me. Today I also visited a Christian deaf school. That is another language that I should learn. It seems as if everywhere I go I am seeing efforts to work with children and their parents and I think that this is so important. To help one without the other is incomplete and when the two come together again, much will be lost of what was taught or previously gained.

I am staying with an El Salvadorian family. The couple have 4 children who all attend a German Christian school so they are trilingual (more or less). The mother is a massage therapist so I may have to give in and get a massage for once in my life. She went to Mongolia last year with a missions team and so she has a worship CD in Mongol (or however you call the language). I am listening to it in hopes of picking up a few Mongolian words.

This morning I went on a short run in the neighborhood I am staying in -- a neighborhood that during the war was occupied by the military. Having been mostly sedintary for 3 days, it was good to get out again. In reality though I think that running will be even more difficult here than in San Pedro. The driving is more difficult too since San Salvador is such a large ctiy. I will wait and see what the Lord says to me as I wrap up this trip.

The Grace of God

October 23, 2009

The days fly by! This morning I experienced my first rain shower here but it was nothing like the real rainy days. Last night there was a near disaster here in the apartment when little Lisbeth pulled a bowl of hot soup off of the table and down over herself. Thankfully her burns were not bad but it was a scare for all of us. I am seeing God's hand of protection over myself and many others in these days.

Yesterday I received news that causes my heart to grieve. In Honduras there are a large number of “maquilas” or factories which are owned by persons from other countries. For example Hanes is here and many others. At this point the maquilas are waiting to see what happens with the governmental situation and if things do not improve and Honduras does not have the support of the international community, they will leave. And that would mean the loss of 100’s of 1000’s of jobs here in Honduras. In a country that is already struggling economically, I do not know how the people would survive. I pray that the maquilas do not pull out and create a huge vacuum.

Last night I had another near disaster when I almost swallowed perfume instead of mouthwash in the middle of the night when I skipped turning on the light. Thankfully the smell alerted me to my mistake before I committed to the swallow.

On another note, I would ask for prayer because my heart is heavy at the moment with the pain those around me are experiencing. I am in need of wisdom to know how to respond to several situations. Tomorrow I fly to Panama where I spend one night and then go on to El Salvador. I will probably try to a little sightseeing there but I may discover that more important is some solo time since I will not have much of that in these coming weeks. I am praying that my time in El Salvador will give me insight into further possibilities for the future and how I can learn the skills that I need to work with young children and single moms.

Honduras Again

October 21, 2009

So I am here in Honduras. I arrived yesterday with no problems in the travel. I arrived quite tired because of little sleep the night before due mostly to the early morning departure. Today Evelin, Lisbeth, and I came out to camp. I was able to hold one of the new babies, José, and visit with a couple of the others on camp. We will have some brownies a little later for one of the children’s birthdays, but right now I am trying to get on-line and it is not working. I can tell that internet communication could be a problem for a while. And the problem is that there are several things that I need to respond to and figure out.

I also have a long list of people to call and re-connect with. I am realizing that I do not have all that many days here and I am not sure when I can get together with everyone, pack, and move out of the apartment. It has been good to chat some with Evelin and to see Lisbeth. At first Lisbeth seemed angry with me (which makes sense – I disappeared for nearly 3 months) but she quickly warmed up to me.

Well, considering the rather monumental task ahead of me, I think this is all for the moment. I will see about finding an internet connection and also organizing the Outdoor Education supplies here at camp.

(Yeah, I obviously connected to the internet and at least part one of my connection without Outlook is working which makes life much easier. I will work on part two later)

Travels Through North Carolina

October 15, 2009

Today is my final full day in North Carolina. It has been a good trip with various adventures. Getting to NC was the hardest part because I had to contend with Friday afternoon traffic between DC and Fredricksburg. Since I was driving a standard vehicle I did not feel like sitting in stop and go traffic for several hours on the freeway. I, therefore, decided to take some other roads which were of course way out of the way and I arrived at my destination late. I would have been better off finding a place to sit for a couple of hours until rush hour passed and then continued on my way.

Rain has been the constant of the past week with only a few days of sun. But during the sunshine I had some opportunities to hike with friends and the other days I visited with friends indoors or exploring various parts of the towns across the state. I have enjoyed reconnecting with friends and seeing a bit of their lives. Saturday evening I was able to attend a church service in Spanish and meet some Hondurans who live here in North Carolina.

Monday evening was an adventure since I ended up square dancing with a group of 55 plus. I enjoyed the chatting with the people more than making a fool of myself square dancing, but it was a good evening. Wednesday I got to see a bit of downtown Salem and also play with my friend's nephew. I have spent a lot of time on the road and tomorrow is the big day of travel from Asheville to Harrisburg. I am excited though because after reaching Harrisburg I will head north to a cabin with my family. And there I expect to see snow, possibly up to 10 inches. I would love it! And being October it is so exciting. We will see what actually happens though.

Then on Monday I head to DC before my flight out to Honduras on Tuesday. Lots and lots of travels.

A Lovely Day

October 7, 2009

What a beautiful day! I had spent the last few days down at Black Rock Retreat helping to hostess an Exploritas (formerly Elderhostel) group. While they were in lectures, I was usually working on my computer or doing homework for a class that I am taking. yesteday I accompanied them on their field trips and saw several familiar faces from when I had helped with that program over 8 years ago.

This morning I stole away from inside the retreat center to sit for a few minutes outside at a picnic table. I loved the scene that great me. The wind tore through the trees, sending leaves in a spiral dance towards the ground below. Acorns plummeted downward and I feared that perhaps one would find my head as its stopping place, but thankfully none came down on me. As I sat there with God, I found myself wanting to shout out, "Jesus I love you!" Somehow the wind swirling around me, spoke to me of God's presence. Even as I am back in Millersville this evening, I find myself wanting to take a late evening stroll in the wind. I have too long of a list of things to do to actually do so though. Friday I head out for a week visiting people in North Carolina and so I have much to do before that time. And the following week I leave for a few weeks in Honduras and Central America which means even more packing and preparation.

The other beautiful part of today was when I stopped by my sister's house for a few minutes and held my nephew Jack. It seemed as if he had grown a ton in just 3 days. Much to my delight he smiled at me for the first time -- intentionally. He is finally beginning to focus on people and not just some unknown spot on the wall. So cute! I suppose that I should post a picture soon.

And that was my lovely day. I have much to be thankful for.

When Honduras Comes to New Danville

September 24, 2009

Today I had a very fun surprise. My aunt called me this morning to inform me that a group from a school in San Pedro Sula, Honduras would be sharing in chapel (at New Danville Mennoite School) in just a few hours. My schedule was open so I quickly decided to go, especially because I hoped to see a teacher or the director who I had met from the school back in June. When I walked into the chapel area, I saw the group milling around on the stage. And immediately my eyes fell on a student who I knew. He had participated in a work team at Manantial de Vida, summer 2008. He saw me too and so we began chatting in Spanish which was fun. I stayed for the chapel in which the Honduran school shared songs in Spanish. I enjoyed singing one of my favorite praise songs in Spanish, "Eres Todopoderoso". It is also the song that little Lisbeth loves to worship with.

This evening I met up with a Hispanic woman in Lancaster and another girl and we went into a neighborhood downtown to share with some children. Most of the children were not around but we prayed with two young children and shared the story of Joseph. The woman took the opportunity though to pray and share with several young adults milling around the area. I was touched as she shared her testimony and how God had brought redemption to her life. Her story was one that the young people could relate too because she had been in their shoes. It hit home with one young man who had just been released from prison. It was exciting to see the timing of the encounter and the woman's boldness in sharing Christ with any and every person she saw. She was ready to pray with each one, even from the car as they walked past. I hope that I can visit the city again with her and join in ministry to those in Lancaster.

Still Following the Footprints

September 22, 2009

Here I sit in Lancaster, PA while chaos errupts again in Honduras. Eversince Zelaya, the former Honduran president (who was removed from power the end of June) managed to sneak back into the country and make an appearance from the Brasilian Embassy in Tegucigalpa yesterday, things have gotten ugly again. His supporters were celebrating while others were protesting Zelaya's return. The new government is asking the embassy to turn Zelaya over to them so that he can be arrested and tried. Meanwhile there has been an almost 24 hour curfew in effect in Honduras. From what I understand it is in all of the country and has only been lifted on one of the islands where tourism abounds. I must say that it is much more comfortable being here in PA than closed in an apartment waiting to see what happens. But my heart goes out to my friends there who can do nothing but wait ... and pray (the latter of which is definitely not "nothing").


I find myself marveling at how God's hand seems to be directing my steps and the timing of events, even though I cannot see it at the time. For a long while I was considering flying back to Honduras on September 20 to do some exploring of ministries with a couple and to participate in a missionary retreat. I kept waiting for direction from the Lord as to whether I should go or not and heard nothing. As the days passed, I let go of the idea of traveling over this time and figured that unless He made it very clear that now was the time to travel, I would keep waiting. And today as I consider what is happening again in Honduras, I am glad that I am waiting. I almost get chills down my back when I think of how many times God has orchestrated such timing in my life these past 2 months. I guess that I just wish I was more aware of how He is directing me each moment instead of just after the fact. Even so I am very thankful that He is at work and that I can see His hand.

Footprints through the Sea

September 18, 2009

As this week comes to a close, I am encouraged by the way I have seen God at work. I have continued to visit various ministries here in Lancaster County and find it exciting to see so many people with a desire to serve God. My latest visit was to House of His Creation in Lititz, a ministry to teenage mothers and their young children. The program director and I actually went to college together for a few years and shared the same double major. I found it interesting how the Lord has brought us both around to a place that is not quite in the field that we studied. It is related, but more on the social work side. Not that I am actually in that field yet, but the pull continues to be there. The more I meet with people and interact with young children, the more I want to love them and make a difference in their life. I find myself still waiting though – waiting for the pieces to come together revealing what God is doing in my life. If my life was a jigsaw puzzle, I am not sure if the edge pieces would be in place or not. I will have to think on that analogy more.

Anyway in my waiting, I have been excited to see how in the seemingly little things and decisions on when to visit different people or organizations and when to stay home, I have chosen well. Although I never specifically heard the Lord telling me to stick around Lancaster for the day, I stayed put and later on it became clear that I was supposed to be here. It reminds me of a verse I read this morning from Psalm 77 speaking of the Lord’s hand in the lives of the Israelites. “Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.” (vs. 19) I want to continue to be in tune with His Spirit so that I know where to be when.

It Was Not Just Me

September 12, 2009

I am back in Lancaster after almost a week of traveling. As it turns out, there was indeed a problem with the car and it was not my fault. On Wednesday morning when I tried to start the car it would not start and this time I decided it needed fixed. Thankfully I got a ride to the college and from there was able to walk and visit friends and professors.

Being back in Houghton was good but caused me to do some reflecting. It was interesting walking the campus and seeing how the students looked so much younger than I felt that I was 10 years ago. I was able to do a few of my favorite runs which was fun. I also spent a lot time re-connecting with professors, especially those in the psychology department. I found myself having lots of questions for them as I think about the area of counseling and just where God might be direcing me. I left Houghton with lots of "homework" or research to do and have been attempting to find my way through it all.

The past few days in Lancaster can be summed up with one word - RAIN. I feel as if I am back in Honduras. I enjoy the rain for a while but I am hoping for some sunshine tomorrow. It looks as if I will be in this area next week and not traveling again until ... who knows when? I wish that I could plan ahead farther but I am always waiting on unknown details and in the end trips seem to come about last minute. I am still praying about what will be the best time for returning to Honduras to close my apartment. Vamos a ver.

Maybe It Is Me

September 7, 2009
I am beginning to think that maybe the car problems have to do with me and not the cars themselves. For my journey to Pittsburg, Ohio, and Houghton I decided to drive my parent’s mustang because it should be more reliable than my sister’s Honda that has nearly 250,000 miles on it. Well, this morning I went out to start the car and head over to Houghton and much to my surprise, the car would not turn on and stay on. After conversation with my dad and he with a Ford dealer it sounds as if the problem is probably an air idle valve or something of the sort. And so here I am sitting on the front porch of my friend’s house waiting for a mechanic to come by. Perhaps my Thursday departure from here will not happen after all. It is sad to be so close to Houghton and yet so far away. Hopefully I will get there within the hour and begin connecting again with professors. I am glad that from where I am sitting here on the porch I can see a tall, stately maple tree that is beginning to change color. I saw a few such trees on my drive from Sandusky, Ohio to western NY yesterday.

Usually when I travel I try to move quickly from point A to point B but on this trip I have been taking my time. Last night I got a bit lost as I tried to find the highway in Olean to then get to Belfast. It has been over 10 years since I traversed Olean during my college days. In the end I found my way, though it was the longer way.

**Well, the mechanic came and of course the car started with no problem. I give up on cars!

On Lake Erie

My time in Ohio was spent with friends on Lake Erie. It was a relaxing and fun time as we sat on the shore of the lake, speeded through the waters on jet skies, or rode the waters on water skies. My friend’s three boys are adorable, especially the youngest with his blue eyes and blond curls. On Sunday we were sitting on the boat waiting for our “pilot” so that we could take off. Little Simon, who is 2 years old, was standing on the back of the boat with his little life jacket. His dad was beside him but he was holding the 5 year old and I was on the seat just behind Simon. All of a sudden Simon stumbled and began a headlong tumble towards the shallow waters. I had been alert in case such a stumble might occur and so I dove for him and thanks to his life jacket, was able to grab hold of him. He came up unharmed and dry, but scared. I am glad that I play sports where I have to work on my reaction time and have spent much of my life spotting which also is a moment when you have to be alert and ready for a fall.

Simon was not too scarred by the experience because he had no qualms about heading out on the waters when his uncle arrived to drive the boat. I enjoyed the opportunity to ski again and tried to take some risk and try new things such as going over the wakes. Too often I get content in what I am able to do without much effort and hesitate to take risks. I know that in my life beyond water skiing, God wants to teach me lessons in that area.

On the Road Again

September 4, 2009

In a few minutes I will hit the road again and begin travels to Pittsburgh, Ohio, and then up to Houghton. It should be a good time of connecting with friends but lots of miles put in. I am hoping that the Labor Day traffic is not too bad. I do not have time to write much, but I wanted to mention that my sister and nephew are out of the hospital and doing well. They went home on Wednesday. We are thankful that everyone is doing well. So that's all for the moment.

God at Work

August 30, 2009

I think this is an apt title for this entry because I have several things to highlight from the past week which show how God has been at work. First of all, my nephew Jack is doing much better. We went in after church today and when Shana, my mom, and I got down to the NIC-U, the nurse said that Jack could try eating and that they would be soon removing the IV of sugar water. He also no longer had the pressurized air and was breathing completely on his own. How exciting! He was more awake today too and though he rarely opened both eyes, he did some winking.

As for other events in this past week, last Sunday Evelin had called me and I was attempting to carry on a conversation over the phone in Spanish and it was not going well. The connection was bad and I could not make out most of her words. I have run into the same problem with talking to my sister in Brazil but at least that is in English and I can get by. Evelin was sure I was forgetting my Spanish but I knew that was not the problem. Anyway, she was not doing well and I could not communicate with her which was incredibly frustrating to me. She did not seem receptive to my suggestion that she call someone from the church there or a friend to talk and pray with. I hung up from the conversation frustrated but also wondering if the Lord did not want me to be able to communicate with her because He wanted her to find help elsewhere.

Yesterday when I talked with Evelin again and she was doing much better. She made a statement which confirmed in me that I am not to be her source of support. She said it was good I could not understand her because after our time on the phone she went and had a sweet time of prayer and fellowship with Jesus. And after that she was good. Time with Jesus was what she needed, much more than any words of encouragement from me. God showed me my place and revealed to Evelin that she has to depend on Him.

The other exciting event of the week was conversation with a couple who has interest in Honduras and in working in some way with women and children. I have no idea how God might work out the details and if we can work together or not but it is exciting to see Him at least opening some windows for me to glance through at the possibilities.

I know that does not exhaust the list of what God is doing but for now that is all I can recall and I am heading off to get some sleep.

I'm An Aunt!

August 29, 2009 10:52PM

Well, it has been a long day and not quite what I had expected. Shana had to have a C-section because she was not progressing in the labor and the doctor suspected that it could not be a regular delivery. It turns out that my nephew, Jack Benjamin, was 9lbs 6oz. According to one nurse he was probably "overdone." There had been contention as to his due date among the doctors and it seems like he may have been a little late.

Anyway Little Jack (which is really Big Jack) is in the NIC-Unit (he is probably 2-3 times the size of every other baby there) because he had a lot of mucus on the lungs. Apparently passing through the birth canal often expels much of the fluid and since he did not, his lungs have to absorb the extra fluid. He needed oxygen too because he was struggling a little with the breathing. By this evening he was receiving pressurized room air instead of oxygen because he still needs some extra help in strengthening his lungs.

I went back to the hospital after meeting up with a couple of friends for a little bit this evening and was able to go with Shana and Jason to the NIC-U. At long last I was able to see them holding Jack, and I was able to hold him though we found out after the fact that only the parents are allowed to hold him while he is there. That has been the hardest part of the day -- unmet expectations of being able to hold my nephew and see everyone together. He will likely be in NIC-U for longer than Shana will be in the hospital (and that will proably be 3-4 days) so it will be an adjustment. I think I will be spending a lot more time at the hospital these next few days than I had expected. I am just so glad that I am here in Lancaster and not traveling or even in Honduras.

The Waiting Room

August 29, 2009 2:10PM

Today marks a memorable day in the life of the Hesses. Little baby Stauffer is soon to enter the world. My sister called early this morning from Women’s and Babies Hospital to say that she was in labor. She never was able to sleep last night and around 1:00AM made Jason get up and go on a walk around Millersville. A policeman pulled up and asked if everything was alright and she said that she was in labor. The policeman was relieved because he thought that she was a drunk college student.

I am currently in the waiting room of the hospital because after long hours of contractions, things were not progressing and Shana was exhausted so the doctor recommended a C-section. She did not have the strength to contest. And so as I sit here in the lobby, she is in surgery. We are praying that all goes well and that she recovers well.

Long Overdue

August 17, 2009

This is a very overdue entry. I just have been struggling to sit down at the computer and write. I guess that over the last week I have been visiting with lots of people and so I do not take the computer time that I maybe should. Anyway, I did make it safely from Wellsville to the cabin on Pine Creek the other Sunday. It ended up being a very long drive since downed trees on the roads and a powerline on Rt. 6 forced me to take an alternate route -- the windy, but beautiful Rt. 44. In reflecting on the trip later I realized a lesson even with the storm. I was anxious to set out for the cabin so I did almost as soon as the rain let up. I made it to the cabin but in almost double the amount of time it should take. Had I waited a little while longer in the beginning the roads may have been cleared that I could have taken the direct route. During my time there in the mountains of seeking God's face and His direction, waiting was one of the themes. God seems to be nudging me in a direction but slowly, no rushing allowed. As I move He will confirm or close doors. I am working on a more thorough update so more details will follow.

I was so glad though for the chance to be alone with God. The one morning I got up early and climbed a trail to a mountain peak. What a beautiful place to meet with God! I think I did see a bear running downhill (far from the trail thankfully -- though still disconcerting), a buck, and a turkey so I was not exactly alone. Throughout the time God had lessons to teach me from His creation. I hope that I never stop learning. So that is all for my brief catch up.

An Extended Stay

August 9, 2009

Well, my plans for the day appear to be changing. Yesterday I went to a family reunion near Lewisburg and from there proceeded north to a cabin on Pine Creek. This morning I drove almost 2 hours more north to visit the church I use to attend during college in Wellsville, NY. After church I ate lunch with a family at the part in town. And now I am ready to journey back to the cabin for some solo time, but the weather outside is a little frightful and no it is not snow. It is a good thing I decided to make a restroom stop at the Dunkin Donuts because I should not be driving in this weather. For a little while the wind was blowing the deck chairs across the patio. The rain was pelting against the window panes and there are cracks of lightning every few seconds. I heard rumor of tornados in other parts of the county. I wish I had not left all of my reading books in the car. It is right out front, but an exit to get them will leave me drenched even with my rain jacket. The storm actually reminds me of Honduran rains -- intense with flooded roads afterwards. Well, I am thankful for shelter ... and for coffee while I wait.

Off to the Mountains

August 7, 2009

Just as Jesus often went on the hillsides to pray, I find that it is time for me to head to the mountains. I have so many things rolling around in my head and they need processed and prayed about. I have been back in the States for about a week and a half with most of that time in Florida. It has been great to converse with people from LAM and also friends and family. But now it is time to converse more deeply with the Lord and listen intently for some direction. And so after a family reunion in central PA tomorrow, I will head farther north for a few days. I just have to be sure God's beautiful creation does not distract me. I love being outside, but sometimes I get distracted. Then I will return to society to continue traveling and connecting with people. Psalm 121:1-2 comes to mind, "I lift my eyes up to the hills -- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth."

Travel Plans Asunder

August 3, 2009

I think "asunder" is the right word choice but maybe not. How wonderful it is when travel delays work out to one's benefit! Of course, I have not left Sarasota yet, so I may yet be disappointed. I was scheduled to fly from Sarasota to Atlanta and the to Harrisburg tonight with only a 30 minute layover in Atlanta, a city notorious for delays. Well, I arrived at the Sarasota airport only to discover that my plane is delayed from here by two hours. And from Atlanta there is one flight daily to Harrisburg -- 8:45PM. Just over the weekend I discovered that I could have traveled with my cousin and his family to Atlanta tomorrow and flown from there, allowing myself a few days to visit family. Jokingly I told him that who knows, maybe I would still see him there in Atlanta. Now I have the opportunity to send the day in Atlanta without having to drive there or pay a fee to change my flights. I even got a small voucher for my next flight with AirTran. For me, it could hardly have worked out better but I know that many others are suffering because of the delay. I am sitting here in the airport though with the fear that I am missing the flight because I am not sitting at the gate and the food court area is vacant. I still have an hour and a half to kill though according to the tv monitor. An irrational fear it would seem.

The Faces Behind Immigration Laws

On Tuesday night I flew into BWI airport and was saddened by a scene that I witnessed. We had just landed and everyone was in the aisle, ready to disembark when someone came onto the loud speaker asking that a certain passenger identify herself. A woman just behind me with a young daughter raised her hand. A minute later a Maryland State trooper began to make his way down the aisle and told her that she needed to follow him and should leave her bag with someone else – her younger brother it turned out. She also left the little girl with the teenage brother. The young girl had just awoken from sleep and so she cried at the separation. The rest of the passengers all looked at each other and wondered what was going on, our hearts going out to the mother and daughter. She certainly looked innocent.

As I exited the plane the woman was standing with three policemen and her brother was a little farther down the hallway. I heard him say something to her about having thought her green card was okay. And so it seems as if the detainment has to do with immigration and incorrect paperwork. I wonder how she made it into and out of Houston airport without being detained there. I went downstairs to pick up my luggage and one of the pieces was missing. I had to go to the desk and request that they track it. I was told it would be delivered to Lancaster the next day. Meanwhile the woman’s brother came to the desk in search of all of their bags which had never even made it to Houston from Trinidad. What a bad day for them! As I walked out I told him that I would pray that everything would work out. I did not know what else to say to him. His sister is detained and they have no luggage. I hope that their story ends well and that the woman was able to renew whatever expired visa she had. I realized at that moment that my one missing bag was really nothing.

Car Repairs

July 30, 2009

Once again it has been a while since I last wrote. You would think that with lack of abilities to travel and to leave the apartment I would have actually written more, not less. Last Saturday I got my car back and it runs smoothly … for now. The alternator and several other small parts had needed replaced. As far as repairs to the back door, I have no idea when that will get done. The insurance seems to be looking for any way possible to not have to pay for the damage. And sadly I think they found it. I am always driving with my US driver’s license because the two or three times I went to the Honduran license center to get a license they told me it was not possible until I was a resident – a process I have been in for almost 2 years. But after three months in the country the US driver’s license apparently expires and you are no longer legal to drive. And now the insurance says that I should not have been driving since I had been in Honduras for 5 months. Uugh!!