To the Peak of Another Volcano -- Chaparrastique

December 16,2010,

There is something about hiking and reaching a peak that excites me. I love the challenge of the climb and then the view from the top. On Sunday I woke up early to head out to a volcano with an "extreme hiking group" here in El Salvador. The climb began with us winding through a coffee plantation ripe with coffee beans. They were so pretty that I was tempted to snag a few and eat them but I resisted the temptation. Along the road we came upon a coral snake that had been cut up but it was still obvious as to what it was. I preferred coming upon it dead than alive.

After the coffee plantation we began the real ascent with some steep grades and slippery terrain because we were walkig on loose volcanic rock. One of the words of warning that the guard gave us was that of, "Make sure a rock is solid before you step on it. Sometimes the big ones seems solid but when you put your weight on them, they start an avalanche of rocks." I reflected on that statement as I gingerly tested rocks before putting my weight on them. I thought of how sometimes even in life, that which appears solid, will suddenly give way. At one point I was singing (in my head) "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand ... ." I encountered quite a few other analogies in my hike that day. At one point one of the girls -- a new found friend -- reached back to offer me a hand up a large rock. I hesitated a moment before accepting herself because I knew that I could do it alone. But as I thought about, I realized, but why? She had gone before me and was already up on the rock. Accepting her help would make my climb easier. So why not let others help me? It was a good reminder to curb some of my independence and allow others to bless me and help me along.

The rocks I had to climb or step over along the way reminded me of another song called "The Lead of Love" by Caedmon's Call. The words that were in my mind were that of, "... you have to walk the rocks to see the mountain view... looking back I see the lead of love." I love that about life that as we move forward from a moment of difficulty, a rock or obstacle, if we reflect on the moment, we can see God's lead of love through those hard times and that in the end He has a plan and purpose for our lives. The rock we had to face was not the end. He is there with us among the rocks, offering a hand and comfort or even carrying us at times, and afterwards He is has a mountain view for us -- the opportunity to look back and see the purpose for which He allowed us to struggle over those rocks. Sometimes we cannot see the reason until much later, but there is good to come from even those bad situations because God is a God of love.

When we reached the top of the volcano, the crater was barren with sulpher fumes coming out and a gurgling sound coming from it. There was a little ledge where I could sit and see to my left the barreness of the crater and to the right the green valley below. I was reminded of those who try to straddle the fence between the living and the dead. I definitly choose life in my walk and indeed in this case I did not go down and explore the crater. That would have been too much. The view from the top was awesome and I felt like I could see so much of El Salvador. We kept taking pictures along the way but someone commented that the view would be best from the top. I had to think of our Heavenly Father who sits in heaven and can see the whole world. He has the perfect view!

The descent was even more challenging for me than the climb because it was no longer about strength and endurance but about traction and the shoes that I took are on their last leg. Indeed that might have been their last journey. I fell quite a few times and slid many more but thankfully made it down the volcano safely and back to the car. We got to the van just before dark for which I was thankful. Overall it was an awesome journey and I made some new friends too which is always fun. The majority of the group were not Christians as I could tell by their words and actions but I hope that I was able to share a bit of Christ's light with them in our hike.

Culture Shock

December 16, 2010

Culture shock is something that happens every now and then and often unexpectedly. For me this week it was looking for baking soda in the grocery store only to be told that it is in the medicine aisle. I guess it shows that baking is not a tradition here. Yesterday at the theater I was handed a bag of popcorn with the straw sticking out of it. One of the housemoms joked that that is how they eat popcorn here in El Salvador -- with a straw. Definitely another culture shock! Though really the straw was there for easy carrying.

And finally the other culture shock moment came on Sunday when I left my house at 4:20AM to go on a volcano hike. I figured that on a Sunday at that hour there would be no problems with traffic but I did not take into account that it is a week of various fairs and celebrations within the Catholic church. And so at 4:15AM I found myself in a traffic jam because people were arriving to celebrate the fair of the Virgen Guadalupe. Unfortunately the church is right along a main highway and the cars were taking up one of the lanes and sometimes unloading in a second and so there was one good lane for traveling. Would people go to a fair at 4:20AM in the United States? I do not think I know too many people who would, but maybe I am mistaken.

The Days of Summer

December 16, 2010,

It is actually not summer here in El Salvador though we have entered into the dry season (so maybe it wouuld be called summer). It does not feel like summer in that we have enjoyed some cooler days over the past few weeks and lots of wind. But nonetheless it feel like summer in the sense that the children are on vacation. I have been doing lots of baking with the girls and in that teaching some lessons on what it means to share, wait (as we worked with yeast the other week), and think of others before ourselves. Today will be another cookie baking session with some of the older girls who will help me to make cookies for a snack for tomorrow's award ceremony. I have also introducted exercise or recreation to the schedule. I was impressed the other day when one of the older girls got some of the younger ones together for stretching and soccer on the tiny porch because they had not been able to to go the park and play there. When I was out last week for a workshop, they still went to the park to play soccer and basketball. I am encouraged to see the concept fo the importance of exercise taking root. Without it the children pass too much time sitting in front of the television.

Since the oldest girls are without a tia at this point, I had them over for a sleepover one night and stayed at La Casa with them another night to give them a little extra attention and allow the other two tias to focus on just their groups. Tomorrow night I will be back as a tia which will make for a long weekend, but it should be fun. I look forward to sharing a devotional with them to encourage them in their walk with the Lord.

Yesterday a local business blessed the home with a free trip to see Narnia in 3-D at the theater. It was a fun time even though I missed a lot of the movie by taking the girls out for potty breaks. A free 18oz soda for everyone is not the best idea for little children! On the trip home several of the older girls and I were able to talk some about the movie and the spiritual applications that we saw. I was disappointed that one of my favorite parts from the book was left out (as far as the detail) in the movie but overall it was good.

So all in all these "days of summer" are going well. I will not be here for Christmas but come New Year I will have a couple of the children stay with me for a few days as the children are divided among the staff families so that the home can close down and no one has to work. It should be an adventure!

A Belated Look at Thanksgiving

December 10, 2010
So I still have a lot to catch up on with my blog entries and before it gets too far away in the past that I forget about it, I went to mention my Thanksgiving here in El Salvador. It was a new experience for me as far as Thanksgivings go. Since Thanksgiving is not a holiday here it is a day like any other and is fair game for events. This year two graduations took place on Thanksgiving Day, one in the morning and one late afternoon. The first was the equivalent of a kindergarten graduation – the kind that are always interesting because of the cute children and their different acts or behaviors. Unfortunately the program started very late and then dragged on, but overall it was okay. It was great to see Agustin’s family there celebrating with him. After the first graduation a co-worker invited me to her house for a Thanksgiving lunch. I already had plans for a 3:00PM Thanksgiving meal but it was with people who I did not really know so I decided to stop by my friend’s house first and enjoy a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal but with friends.
From there I ran over to the other Thanksgiving party which was with persons who work with USAID. I only slightly know the woman who invited me but I ended up having some good conversation with a Christian El Salvadorian woman there. Directly after the meal (and before dessert was served) I had to leave to get to the second graduation of the day. Salvador, one of the boys in the home, was graduating from high school and he actually graduated as the valedictorian. I did not realize he was valedictorian until the next day since I did not know that word in Spanish. I had wondered why such a big deal was being made about this graduation since it was actually the second among the children. When I realized he was graduating with the highest honors, it all made sense. I was just a bit slow. 
After graduation we went for my third Thanksgiving meal of the day (thankfully I ate only a little bit at each meal) at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Not my typical Thanksgiving stop but it was where Salvador wanted to celebrate with his family and staff. During the graduation ceremony it was moving to see his biological dad up front with the housemom and counselor participating in the ceremony of passing on a candle to the graduates. God is at work in the families of the children at La Casa and in several cases bringing about restoration and healing which is very exciting. This Christmas more children than ever are going to be spending time with their biological families instead of going to the homes of the staff.

Night of Talents

December 3, 2010

This past Tuesday was a Night of Talents for the children here at La Casa de Mi Padre. Through songs, dance, and drama they demonstrated their many talents and here are a few photos to give an idea of what it looked like. My talent was helping a few of the girls make cupcakes for a snack so I did not have to get up on the stage which I preferred.

Where Has The Time Gone?

December 3, 2010

That is the question I ask myself as I reflect on all of the days that have slipped away without any sort of update. In some ways I feel as if there are have been so many happenings that keeping up with them is nearly impossible. But I will try to do a re-cap with some photos and then maybe go a little deeper in another post. With the coming of December it feels like the children truly are in the middle of their vacation time. I have gotten into more of a routine here at La Casa for this season. Instead of having varying hours every day, I mostly work 9:00AM-6:00PM. At least that is the plan. But then there are events such as rallies and Talent Shows where everything changes. Just this week I started a schedule for doing physcial recreation with the girls twice a week and made cooking groups. Today the older girls and I went to a nearby by sports complex and ended up playing some kickball. Yesterday with the younger girls we ended up in a shady park near my apartment where we were able to run, nearly get sick on the merry-go-round, play tag, and of course try to catch leaves. (I am trying to bring a revolution to El Salvador via creating a new sport -- leaf catching. It is catching on with the girls even though not too many leaves are falling right now.) This afternoon while the girls are playing nintendo, I find myself with some time to do some catching up. And so I think that I will work backwards from today.

Two weeks in a row I have gone out to the farm and witnessed the Equestrian Therapy program underway. This week I actually got on a horse myself which I have not done since Camp Hebron days in 1996. The first week the older girls were very scared of even getting near the horses but they all mounted. One of them remained terrified and trembled most of the time. This week she chose not to get on the horse but I am hoping that in the weeks to come, she will try again. There is something to be said about conquering a fear of heights, horses, climbing, etc... and how it can give courage to also face the fears one has in the daily life. Coming from a recreation therapy background, I am all for those challenges that can be applied to life. I knew that I should ride one of the horses to show that even though I am not really comfortable on a horse and have a healthy fear, I am willing to push myself out of my comfort zone. And in the end it went better than I had expected.

Endings and Beginnings

November 22, 2010

Last week was a week of both endings and beginnings. Both have their place in our lives. On Wednesday the adoption of little Diana was finalized and after a farewell party, she left La Casa for good with her new adoptive parents. Hopefully this week she will be able to travel to the States with them in time for Thanksgiving. She left crying because she was leaving her home of nearly six years and all of the people whom she had grown to love. Even though a better life awaits her and her very own family, her thoughts were in the present moment and the losses she was about to experience. And how can a six year old even begin to process all of the changes? I remember moving to PA at age thirteen and I was not happy about the move. I was leaving the life I had known and though there were fireflies, soft grass, cousins, and snow in the north the trade off did not seem good at the time. But no more than a year later, I was convinced that the move had been for the best and I grew to love PA. I pray that the same will happen for Diana even as she adjusts to a new culture and language.

I think that spiritually I fall into a similiar position as Diana's resistance to the change many a time when I become content in the place that I am and the comfort of what I know. Being stretched spiritually and stepping out of the boat, I am not always about that. But God calls us to keep moving and growing. I do not want to be the same Jennifer Marie Hess that I am a year from now that I am today. The challenge though is saying yes to those steps that take me out of my comfort zone and the "prison" a comfort zone can even form. To move deeper into surrender to God and complete trust in Him as the director of my path.

The new beginnings of last week included the start of group therapy session with the girls' home even during the vacation. In the past they have only had group sessions during the school year but this year Patty decided to continue them through the vacation months because there are so many changes that have been "rocking" the home. A change in tias. A little girl leaving for adoption. An older girl beginning her first job. And so we focused on new beginnings as we talked last Thursday. We pray that these new beginnings will bring new life and new hope to the girls and that they can in the end grasp the changes as good, though sometimes painful in the moment.

I find myself adjusting to the vacation schedule and what that means for me and my interactions with the children and staff. In some ways I have a lot more free time to hang out with the girls. Last week that lent to some good times of talking with the older girls while helping them put up Christmas decorations or taking them on a walk. I have noticed that the girls spend the majority of their day watching movies and television and so I want to help offer some alternatives. Some of the girls would be interested in getting some exercise and it would definitely be good for them. After doing the race the other Sunday, I want to do another one in February if I am still here and I think it would be great to involve some of the girls. One thing that struck me though in my conversations with the girls last week is that when I leave, I will be yet another loss in their lives. I had kind of hoped that I could slip in and out without creating another hole or loss for them and yet to achieve that I would have had to maintain my distance and not really invest in their lives. I hate to think of causing them more pain though. And yet at the same time I do not want to check out of the relationships now. And so my prayer is that I will be able to invest in the girls for as long as God wants and that we will all be prepared for the goodbye and be able to accept it as a part of the package deal of relationships.

In This Present Moment

November 13, 2010
Saturday is bringing to close a long week – one in which I find myself very tired come this day – but it has also been a good week. The week has held challenges and disappointments but what brings me the most peace is that I know that I am exactly where God wants me for this present moment. I do not sense that the “present moment” will extend much beyond my one year mark in February but looking back and even ahead, I can see that God had me here to both fill in gaps and to gain new insights and perspective of what God is calling me to.

Yesterday marked the beginning of the schedule vacation events for the children who are now on vacation from school. We began with a “Tarde Típica” (Traditional afternoon) at the farm where we enjoyed traditional foods (I even prepared a Salvadorian dish though I learned it was not quite how they make it – I followed a recipe that probably cut the sugar in half) and some games. I had a little “kick-off” of vacation season at my apartment on Thursday when I served breakfast to fifteen girls and two tías. It was a good time. They seemed to enjoy the eggbake and baked oatmeal, both of which are not typical foods for here. Afterwards I shared some verses on encouragement (which is a theme God keeps bringing up in my own life) and then we took a few minutes to write encouraging words on a paper stuck to the back of each person. Each girl was then able to take home those words from their housemates and tías. I think it was good for all of them and I was encouraged as well by what they wrote.

The other big event of this week for me has been that of spending time with a family from the United States who is here to adopt one of the little girls. They are in the final stages of the adoption and really we had hoped the papers would all be signed this past Monday and they would have custody of her. But unfortunately the judge has asked for more paperwork and so they still do not have custody which means that someone from La Casa has to be with them and the little girl at all times as a chaperone. Two days this week that person was me and this afternoon it should happen again. What I have realized though is that God wants me in this role for the moment. It has been neat to watch the family beginning to bond with the little girl. There is much pain and stress for them right now in this waiting process but the Lord is sustaining them. I am encouraged and challenged as I watch them because I could see the Lord calling me to do a similar thing in the future though maybe in not cross culturally. Who knows? Certainly not I. But God is opening my eyes and for that I am very thankful. I try to stay out of the way so that they can bond and I can provide translation and be in prayer as needed.

My week has been long for one other reason and that is that I trained for a race for tomorrow. Nothing like last minute training! I heard about the race last Sunday – an 11km race. I have not run a race since college and it was never that long. I have continued to run though prior to this week I was not running a lot. When I saw the flyer for the race, I really wanted to do it. Not to win but just to run a race. So my goal is to finish without dying. I know that in the United States I would often go out for a 5 mile run after not having done so for months and I was always fine. Hopefully the same will be true tomorrow morning as I do the early morning race. I can let you know more after tomorrow.

The Flying Cockroaches

November 6, 2010

I believe that every place in the world probably has its hated critters. In the north there are deer ticks and black flies. My house in PA was often overrun by ladybugs which though cute by nature, are not so cute when found by the hundreds in one's house. Well, here in Central America one of my hated critters is the cockroach. Perhaps it stems from traumatic childhood experiences with cockroaches while living in Florida. A cockroach in your peanut butter and jelly sandwich in first grade is enough to create some later dislike of the insect. On Thursday evening I had some unpleasant encounters with cockroaches. Unfortunately the encounter came on the eve of just having helped two girls review for their science exam information about diseases and how cockroaches are carriers of many diseases. Thursday evening I was making a yogurt, fruit smoothie when all of a sudden I felt something land on my shoulder. I brushed it off and then discovered it was a cockroach that had just landed on me. I do not really scream, so no screams left my mouth but I think there were some gasps of horror! My problem with cockroaches is that though I hate them, I also hate killing them. The crunch and the gore are too much, especially when I do not have anything I want to dirty in my process of killing them. (I think I need to invest in a flyswatter!) This one was going to die though because it had landed on me. And so I pursued it with a vengeance and though it escaped once, it ended up dead and in the trash can. The thing was I had no idea where the cockroach had actually flew in from which made me a little worried since I had just been getting cereal out of its bag. Several hours later I returned to the kitchen and there was another cockroach on the counter! I was appalled because I had hoped that there was only one, but I guess that where there is one, there are many. Let’s just say this one died too but there were lots of squeals from me as I smashed it several times.

Friday morning I woke up early not feeling so well. Probably there was no actual connection to the cockroach incident but I had to wonder. I had gone for months without seeing cockroaches in the apartment but this week things went downhill. I need to find some natural deterrent of cockroaches. Supposedly ants do not like mint nor mosquitoes lavendar though my attempts at growing them in Honduras to prevent plagues of those two insects never really worked. The ants still made their way into the house and the mosquitoes too. Raid and daily cleaning will probably be the other option. So we will see but I hope to not have anymore bad encounters in this coming week.

A Dizzying Conversation

October 28, 2010

I concluded this evening that sitting and listening to seven girls ages 10 and under talking about their behavior for the last week and commenting on everyone's behavior is quite dizzying.You have to turn your head from one to the other as you try to follow their line of thinking, and then some through in some very random comments. Anyway, today was the day of groups for the girls home again and so I met with two of the groups along with several of the other staff. The one group we ended up having in my apartment to do something a little different for the team who was celebrating her birthday today. Both of the group sessions went pretty well in spite of distractions and such.

Earlier in the week I had another conversation that could have been dizzying but thankfully was not. One of the teen girls is reading the first of the Narnia books and I asked her what she thought of it. She proceeded to give me a not so summarized play by play of what has happened thus far but then she got to the good part which was sharing with me the analogies that she sees and what God is challenging her in. I have been excited to share the Narnia books with the children because I know that the Lord has used the analogies there to challenge me in different areas of my life. I am praying that the same happens with the children and that they will see them as more than just a fun book to read.

It looks like I will be taking one of the girls hiking up a volcano on Saturday if all goes well and the weather is good. Tonight I have been watching a lovely display of lightning across the dark sky but such storms are not conducive to climbing volcanos. If we are able to do the hike, I pray that it can be a time when I can encourage this young woman because she is beginning a new adventure on Monday when she starts her first job ever and begins to gain a little more independence and responsibility. She is also the first of any of the children at La Casa to start working so it is a milestone for everyone. We pray that she will stay strong in her faith in spite of the negative influences around her in the work world where she will be.

The Adventures of El Salvador Once Again

October 25, 2010

I have been back at La Casa de Mi Padre for a week now and am back in the middle of the busyness and adventures here. Last week little Karla (age 5) told me that she had forgotten when I looked like and that she thought I had been a lot taller (like 6 ft tall). I assured her that no, I was the same height as before. One of the teen girls thought I had grown taller while away, perhaps from playing basketball. So based on all of their comments, I am not sure if I grew taller or shrunk. But oh well.

Much of the week I spent reading with various of the children, helping with homework, or leading activities for the girls therapy groups. Because the girls home was just re-organized with the two youngest groups joining forces to be one large group of seven, we had decided to begin with some fun, light-hearted activities. With the youngest girls we played a game similar to "Duck, Duck, Goose" except that you have to run in the opposite direction of the person who tapped your head and then shake hands and say, "How do you do?" Because the housedad was also playing and shook their hands with great fervor, several of the girls could hardly say anything because of laughing so hard. With the middle age group of girls we played a game called "Password" that is a lot like the game "Telephone" except with drawings instead of whispering in someone's ear. It is great for then talking about communication. And with the oldest group we played "Imagine IFF" which is a game of getting to know each other. This coming week I will be doing more team-building type activities with them.

On Friday I went to the children's school for their "Feria de Paises" or "Fair of the Countries." Each grade had a country which they represented through decoration of their classroom, preparing traditional foods, wearing typical attire, and presenting a dance from their country. I felt a bit like I was walking in Europe since the majority of the countries represented were from there. the children were proud of their work and really they had done a good job.

Saturday was Family Visit day and I wandered among the families back in the pavilion. Several of the younger girls have a hard time talking with their grandmother when she comes to visit and rely on their older sister to always carry the conversation. When the older sister left, they were there with their grandmother without much to say. After showing the grandmother photos of her grandchildren, I gave the girls books to read to their grandmother to show her what they are learning. It was a humorous scene because they took turns reading her a page of their book, alternating all the way which meant that the grandmother was hearing both, "The Cat in the Hat" and "Curious George Cleans Up." I have discovered over the past few months that is a challenge to help the children and their families communicate and I am always looking for new ideas to help break some of the walls that they have up.

After the visit I stayed in the girls' home for a couple of extra hours to teach some of the older ones "Settler's of Catan." They had been wanting to play and it had never worked out. It was a good afternoon of play and I am sure we will do it again in the near future.

As we enter this new week, there are definitely challenges ahead. Several of the children are struggling in their behavior. Meanwhile various family members of the children are suffering the consequences of poor decisions which ultimately affects the children and their hopes and dreams. Please pray with us for the children and their families.

There and Back Again

October 19, 2010
Well, my journey has come full circle and I am back at La Casa de Mi Padre, settling back in with my work here. I return with another 90 days on my visa which is always a praise. When I walked into the girls’ home yesterday over lunch time, the youngest girl, Karla (age 5), told me that she had forgotten what I looked like and she thought that I was a lot taller. I had been gone less than two weeks but I guess that at that age, much can be forgotten. Today one of the teen girls told me that I looked taller now and that maybe I had grown from playing basketball again. I doubt it but I guess that it would not hurt for me to grow a little taller.

I arrived in Lancaster, PA Tuesday evening the 5th of October and left again very early on the 13th. In that week I spent time with family and friends and took care of some details with my computer, getting books and jeans for the children at La Casa, and other runnings here and there. A funny moment for me was when I discovered myself mixing cement Latin America style in the mountains of PA. (That means putting the cement on the ground, pouring on water, and mixing with shovels). The technique worked pretty well for the location and we were able to fill in behind the stone wall that we had built to help sustain a footbridge over a little stream.

I found myself often starting to talk to children in Spanish, especially younger children to whom I felt the need to say, “No, you should not… .” It makes me think that I must be saying “no” too much in Spanish since it came out so easily with the Spanish accent.

In my return to El Salvador I passed through Honduras to pay my car insurance and also to make sure that I got my 90 days. It was good to get out to camp again and to see the new baby on camp – Fernando – as well as visit with the staff and Evelin. Much to my delight Lisbeth warmed up to me very quickly and shortly after I arrived we were playing like old friends (well, maybe like an aunt with her niece). The time there was a little bittersweet because Evelin is facing another difficult time and I knew that I could not do anything but pray with her, encourage her, and leave her in God’s hands. And He is good and faithful so really that is the best place for her to be, if she would just make sure that she curls up there. One precious moment was seeing her read the book, "I'll Love You Forever" to Lisbeth in the car on our way to the city. I pray that the words sunk in for both of them.

My journey back to El Salvador took about nine hours instead of six to seven but I was able to catch up on journaling and use my computer for e-mails and such. This time they showed at least one decent movie which was a blessing. I enjoyed the sights and though I did not sleep, I took time to rest a bit. And so I give thanks for the chance to get away and yet return, ready for the next couple of months.

Autumn On The Mind

October 1, 2010

The last few days have felt a bit like rainy autumn days because the rains have brought in much cooler temperatures. Days like these make me long for the changes of autumn such as the beautiful colors,the shorter days (days here in Central America are always short), and the seasonal fruits and vegetables. Over the past 3months I have been reading "Charlotte's Web" with one of the girls here at the home to work on her reading comprehension. We finished the book this week and so today I took advantage of the fact that they had no school (because of the rains and flooding earlier in the week) to invite her over to my apartment to watch the movie. Even though the movie was in English with Spanish subtitles (and she cannot read quickly enough to keep up with the words) she enjoyed the movie and really the chance to get some special, individual attention. Since the movie and book speak about friendship and what is a loyal friend, we had some good moments discussing what it means to be a good friend. Anyway, within the book and movie, there are many references to autumn, the fall fairs, and such, so I am excited to be heading north next week to experience some of those things.

Tomorrow is the day of change in the girls' home. They are moving the rooms around and mixing up the groups. I plan to take at least three of the younger girls to my apartment for the morning so give the adults more freedom to get things done. If I am feeling particularly adventurous and energetic, I may bring five of them, but I am not so sure about that. I have been pretty tired the last few days trying to recover from lack of sleep earlier in the week. The new tia is settling in to the routine at the home and the changing of rooms will help to finalize the adjustments to the groups. The youngest two groups of girls have been united into one large group of seven girls. That group will be quite a handful to say the least.

About a week and a half ago I watched the two two year old boys at my apartment one morning while their tias went to a school event of the other boy in their care. I had toddler-proofed the apartment by taking away all of the glass items and electronics that did not have to out in the open. I remember with fondness making tents out of sheets draped over the furniture from my childhood so I did that in between the living and dining room. Ricardo crawled under it for a little bit but then while I was giving Emanuel some water, Ricardo decided to crawl on the armchair instead and from there stretch out on the sheet. Only he quickly discovered that the sheet was not solid material and he slowly fell to the floor while I watched from a distance, unable to get there in time to prevent his fall. Apparently he has had quite a few bumps to the head in the past because this one did not phase him for long. I decided though that maybe it would be better to go play at the park and so off we went to spend the rest of the morning on the swings, merry-go-round, and watching a bunch of ladies do some exercise routine ont he basketball court. The worst thing that happened at the park was Ricardo getting rather dirty, but then that is what little boys love to do so it was not a big deal.

I will definitely miss the children while I am in PA and Honduras but I know that time will pass quickly and soon I will be back working with them in some way whether it be in homework, reading, play, or group therapy times.

There's Just Something So Beautiful About...

September 28, 2010

…Children worshiping God together. An old praise song held the words, “there’s just something so beautiful about that name… .” I would definitely agree but I also find there to be something very beautiful in children of all ages coming together to worship the Lord. Over the last 2 weeks during my times of being tía, I have had some opportunities to be with the children in worship. Every Friday evening the tíos bring the children together on the front porch for worship and then devotions, divided up by age groups. The worship team is usually comprised of various youth and then a tío. The other week I shared with the middle age group using the illustration of one of my favorite stories from Tales of the Kingdom, Princess Amanda and the Dragon. We talked about how little things can grow into big things and we quickly lose control of them and Jesus’ teaching on, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21.
I have run into some moments where the children are singing praise songs at inopportune times. The other day I was trying to correct one of the youngest girls and talk with her about how she had treated another one of the girls. She decided that she preferred running up the stairs singing about how God is worthy as opposed to listening. So I then tried to explain to her how God is not pleased when we sing praises to Him and disobey at the same time. Eventually she settled down and we were able to get to the impending discussion.
With covering as a tía repeatedly (and a few days consecutively) over the past week, I have a renewed appreciation for the tíos here. Not only do they have to give very early wake-up calls (usually the first children get up around 3:30AM), but bed-time comes late for them as they wrap up their many responsibilities. Discipline is a large part of the day and so creativity, wisdom, and patience are all important characteristics for the tíos. And as I have been reading about, discipline is not just about correcting behavior, it is about getting to the heart and seeing what is there and helping to mold the heart to follow after God. The work of a tío never really finishes, even when they have their days off because like parents, they are praying for their children and most likely wondering how they are doing back at La Casa. I have been reminded of how important it is to cover the lives of the tíos with prayer because they are often under attack and things like tiredness or sickness greatly increase the difficulty of their work. I can definitely say that I am thankful for and admire their frontline work with the children.

Another Early Morning Post

September 24, 2010

It has been another early morning as I am here at La Casa overnight. One of the tios volunteered to go along on the morning trips to school for me so I thankfully do not have to be ready to leave the house at the same time as the children. I hope to be able to catch some sleep a little later this morning, but we will see.

Yesterday went much better with the three youngest girls than Monday. One of the girls still tried to manipulate my words and did not want to obey but she at least admitted to the disobedience which is a small step. And they all quieted down much quicker last night -- maybe because they have been getting up at 4:00AM to get ready for school instead of 5:00AM as they normally do. Two of them were very much tearing around the play area with the other children burning lots of energy late into the evening so I am sure that this helped them too.

I received some heavy news from Honduras yesterday. Two young men from the church that I attended there were kidnapped on Wednesday evening and though most kidnappings are for ransom and the people are released, Guillermo -- a young man who was turning twenty toda -- was killed and the other young man, Armando was wounded. Guillermo was one of the youth that I knew from the church because of his involvement out at camp and on a work team there. He was a young man passionate for the Lord, a leader in the youth goup and in worship teams. He was a young man with potential. It is hard to understand why he went home to be with the Lord but perhaps God wanted him before His throne to praise Him there. It may be that in his death, more lives will be touched than he could reach while he was living. I am not sure of the reasons for it all, but I do know that God is in control and that which Satan intended for evil, God can transform to be used for his glory. Please pray though for Guillermo's family, the church there in San Pedro Sula and the two other boys involved in the kidnapping who are recovering from their wounds. The burial service will take place this afternoon.

Being a Tia Again

September 21, 2010,
5:00AM really seems like too early an hour to begin a blog entry, but here I am. I was a tía last night at the girls’ home and it is now the hour for the three youngest girls to be getting ready for school. I must say that yesterday was not an easy day with them. I found my patience tried in many areas as I worked with them to finish their homework and study for an English exam. There were times when just one was acting up, but at other moments it was all three. I have been reading the book (off and on) Shepherding a Child’s Heart and I realize that I need to get further along in it to be able to work more on the heart issues than just the behavior issues that come up on a nearly moment by moment basis. It breaks my heart to see how mal-intentioned they can be at one moment but so loving at another.
Yesterday was just one of the first of many nights of being tía in this coming week. I am praying that God’s grace will be sufficient for me in this role because on my own, I do not have the strength nor patience. I have to remember where these girls have come from and give them extra grace. I am sure that God probably wants to do as much work in my heart as He does in theirs.
And apparently I will need to get them up at 4:30AM instead of 5:00AM on Friday so that they are ready in time to leave for school. Today they barely made it. Besides the life as a tía, my life has been busy in other areas. I have started the last part of my Life Coaching Training course and with that comes lots of work, but it is good to continue learning. Yesterday I began coaching one of the older girls here at the home as she is trying to discern her next step and what God is calling her to. Since the majority of our communication is in Spanish, it makes the coaching even more challenging.
This past Sunday I had a good day of rest and in a sense preparing for the week. I met up with some friends from another children’s home for lunch and a table game (something I love but rarely get around to playing here unless it is with the children). During a Skype call with my family I got to play Peek-a-Boo with my little nephew which was fun. Another random highlight of the day was having a green parrot fly by my kitchen window, squawking, while I washed dishes – and this at a 4th story level. I continue to be thankful for glimpses of God’s creation from my apartment though it is in the middle of the capital city.
I need to download some pictures from last week and the Independence Day parades of the children to post in another blog. And other than that I am off to get things done this morning so that I can go to bed early tonight.

Return of the Calm

September 13, 2010

I apologize for taking a while to update on how things have been since the last mention of the unrest here in El Salvador. On Thursday night the president gave a speech in which he declared there would be no dialogue with the gangs and if they caused disturbances, they would be arrested. Friday seems to have been a fairly calm day and by the weekend buses were back to their normal runs. Hopefully the gangs have gotten the message that their manipulation via fear will not be tolerated. The presence of the police and military has been increased all around the city in response to the threats and there have been quite a few arrests of gang members. And so we pray for peace.

This past weekend was my busy one with teaching Sunday School and also a Saturday Family Visit day. Both went well. This morning we did a family visit to one of the girl's family who lives and works on a coffee farm. It is a beautiful place to go but difficult to see the situation in which many of the family members find themselves. Hopefully they were encouraged by our vist and we are praying that they can make good decisions about what to do in the future.

Birthdays

I wanted to post a few recent pictures from the birthday celebrations/outings of the two 2 year old boys -- Ricardo and Emmanuel. Ricardo has of late been scared over everything so nearing the pinata, the turtle in the mall, and maybe even his birthday cake was a stretch for him. Today I did not capture it on video but he was singing Happy Birthday (In Spanish of course) and dancing -- very adorable. Enjoy!

Yielding Control Through One's Fear

September 9, 2010

Fear... it is something I hate but also something that I have yet to overcome in many areas. Today I am seeing how fear reigns in El Salvador in so many ways. I have gleaned a few more facts of what has been going on with the gangs and the buses not running (for 72 hours). This week the government issued a new law making it illegal to be a part of a gang. A person can now be arrested just for being a part of a gang, even if they have never committed a known crime. In response to this ruling, the two dominant gangs in El Salvador (the MS and 18 -- who are stark enemies) have come together and announced that they would not permit buses to circulate for 72 hours. They also warned people to stay off of the roads after 6:30PM. Last night the traffic in the evening passing outside my apartment was much less than usual and I did not hear cars in the morning until almost 5:00AM. Tonight I notice that there are a few more cars still on the road, daring to defy the gangs decrees.

Many people have not been able to get to work because of the lack of transportation. Others have walked for miles and for hours. I saw on the internet today that one man decided to ride bike to work since there were no buses and the police stopped him and either fined or arrested him because he was not wearing a helmet. I never even knew that was a law here. It is not a law for motorcycles so I am not sure why bicycles would be any different. (Actually I am not sure about the motorcycles either but if it is a law to wear a helmet, it often is not enforced.) The police and army are supposedly out on the streets trying to maintain control and ensure the safety of the mini-buses that are still running. Army trucks were also used to transport people along bus routes that had been closed down.

At La Casa de Mi Padre all of the staff left early these past 2 days to ensure that we made it home in good time. In some ways I feel as if I am giving into fear and giving the gangs power by following their commands, but I am not going to risk driving around the city when it is not necessary. Last night I skipped going to Bible Study (if it was even happening). I did hear on the radio that some churches were holding their regular services tonight. I was rather glad to hear that because it means that people are living their life and not giving in to fear.

Hopefully tomorrow the halt on the buses and the curfew threats will be over and the government will have control over the gangs. I am not sure that the solution will be so easy though and so I continue to pray for peace. For many who lived through the war in El Salvador in the 80's, the curfew is bringing flashbacks of life back then. To be wise and prudent but to not be controlled by fear, that is the challenge on hand. I think of the Psalms and the reminder that the Lord alone is my rock and my salvation, of whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life... That is what we must remember.

The Reality of Gangs

September 7, 2010

Today the reality of the gang activity here in El Salvador is hitting home. I do not understand all of the details as to the why (perhaps because bus drivers are not paying their "rent" or extortion price), but apparently the gangs are upset. So they have stopped all buses, threatening to burn them or destroy them if they run their regular routes through the city or around the country. In a separate incident, the police just found 10.2 million dollars in barrels that comes from narcotrafficking.

I had no idea what was going on with the halt of transportation until I got to work since I have my own car. I soon discovered though that the tios who were to begin their shift today had not arrived, nor the driver.

I ended up spending most of the morning with Ricardo, playing, singing, and coloring. The housemom had taken Emmanuel with her so there was only one little boy to take care of. When I heard that the tia Loida might not make it in because there was no transportation, I began to consider what life could be like the rest of the day and night as I cared for the two 2 year-old boys and Salvi who is four and has autism. I will confess that I was relieved when Loida arrived at lunch-time.

From the sounds of it (though we are trying to confirm whether it is just a rumor or not), the gangs are also imposing a nationwide curfew. During the war in El Salvador there were curfews and no one could safely be out on the streets after 5:00PM. I pray that the curfews are not that extreme today. The events of today are reminding me that this is a country still torn by violence and corruption. Please be in prayer for El Salvador -- for the government and for the people.

What is the Most Contagious Thing in the World?

September 2, 2010,

According to a children's book that I read the other month with some of the children here,it is not the yawn, sneeze or common cold but the smile that is most contagious. This morning I experienced that during my run. I was on my second lap around a park and passed an older gentlemen who I thought said "morning" the first time I passed him even as I said "Buenos dias!". This time his "morning!!!" (perhaps preceded by "good" but I could not make it out) was very clear. He declared the greeting with one of the biggest smiles I have seen in a long time and with an enthusiasm that may have come from his pride in speaking English to me. I smiled back and returned the greeting. As I continued to run, I could not help smiling as I thought about the joy on his face. I found that I wanted to share this smile with others today and so I hope that as I spend the night in La Casa as a tia for th girls, I want to share a contagious smile that transforms the faces and lives of those around me. May we all be contagious with the smile and love of Christ today!

The Other Minor Disaster

August 30, 2010

Jumping back to Friday, I returned to my apartment in the morning and decided to try and get a little more sleep. As I was moving the bedspread, I discovered that it was all wet where it touched the floor and that there was water all along the bed. There was a watermark on the ceiling that I did not recognize from before but I could not remember for sure. It has rained all night and though my window had been closed, I wondered if the rain had been the culprit. I quickly cleaned it up and settled in for a morning nap. Perhaps twenty minutes later I heard the sound of dripping water. I looked up to find water pouring out from around a light set in the ceiling. It was clearly not rain because the skies had cleared up and the smell of the water told me it was not the cleanest water. I called the people I rent from and they placed a call to the owner. Meanwhile I decided to go upstairs and find out what kind of water was seeping into my bedroom. A maid answered my knock and when I told her how water was coming into my apartment, she said that she would talk to her employer but they had been running water in the kitchen. Many kitchens or laundry rooms have what is called a "pila" and is where water can be stored and then taken out to use for scrubbing laundry etc.... They are more common to have on a patio than in an enclosed apartment.

In talking with those in charge of my apartment, I discovered that the owner would be coming by in the afternoon so I changed my plans around to make sure I was present. And in the meantime I had more cleaning and laundry to do than I had planned.

The issue was not resolved when the owner came since the cause seems to be the apartment upstairs. To fix the problem (and now the ceiling) will take some time as said the ownner today and so she will probably wait until I am out of town for a while. I spent the weekend in one of the other bedrooms since I was not sure the upstairs neighbors would refrain from using their pila or get the issue fixed. I think I will stay put for a few more days since I do not fancy waking up to dirty dripping water.

Thankfully the rest of my Friday went well even though I was in the kitchen. The bread and other food turned out well and I enjoyed visiting with a friend that evening over her birthday dinner. The best part of the day though was getting news from another missionary friend that a situation I had been praying about worked out well and a friend had taken the confrontation calling her into accountability well.

Looking back on Friday with a Monday perspective, I see that my "disasters" are still so minor compared to many others. Today one of my co-workers had important documents stolen out of car while it was parked in front of La Casa. The other week someone stole the registration card out of our micro-bus. Those are situations with even more headaches than my leak which I am ultimately not responsible for. As things continue to happen that slow down ministry and program or discourage the staff, it does seem that there is spiritual warfare going on. Actually spiritual warfare is always going on, sometimes it is just more intense than other times. These past seven months I feel like I have seen a lot more of the warfare than at other times in my life. And so I realize even more the importance of wearing the armor of God and being equipped, praying in all occasions. Of course that is all much easier said than lived out, but I pray that the Lord will give me the strength that I need to stand firm in trials and to be a support to those around me.

Who Knew Sisters Could Carry On a Conversation in Their Sleep

August 29, 2010,

This past week I spent two nights at La Casa de Mi Padre while one of the tias was on vacation. I ended up with the four girls, ages 7-10, who also happen to be four of the most rambunctios girls. On Tuesday Claudia turned 8 and so she was flying high all day. Unfortunately it did not cut down on her tattling and fighting with the other girls and so lots of bickering happened between the girls. That night after a crying spell by one of the girls, they all slept pretty well, as did I. Thursday night for me was another story.

Thursday afternoon we had a group session with the girls to talk about how they were feeling with regards to the upcoming changes with one tia leaving and their tia moving to work with an older group. Every group session with them is one of a kind because most of them are in another world and ask questions that make you wonder if they have any idea what is going on. That afternoon was no different but we finally wrapped up the group with them excited to do one last excursion with their tia in the next weekend or so. Their desire is a sleepover at the house parents home. I thought of inviting them to my apartment but their is so much glass and their energy level so high, it might be dangerous.

Anyway that evening I had offered to wake up the medium girls at 4:00AM to start their showers even though my did not have to get up until 5:00AM. I had the whole day off on Friday so I figured I could afford an hour less of sleep more easily than the other tia on duty. Well, I discovered that I was awake at nearly every hour that night for some reason or another. One of the thing I noticed was lots of noises coming from the girls. The sisters, Abby and Erika, were frequently talking in their sleep and at least once I am pretty sure that they talked to each other. At 3:00AM I was so hungry from having been awake too much that I went downstairs to eat some oatmeal I had there. 4:00AM finally came and then 5:00AM. By 6:30AM the children were off to school and I was on my way home to rest at the apartment -- or so I thought. I will explain the new disaster in the next blog entry.

A Birthday Dinner

August 29, 2010

Since I could not be a part of my nephew's one year birthday party that took place today in Millersville, I will take the moment to catch up on a birthday that I did participate in last week. Last Sunday I invited the six Hernandez children to my apartment for the afternoon and dinner. They are still suffering from the loss of their little sister just over a week before and so I wanted to give them the opportunity to get away from La Casa and experience something different. The children range in age from turning 8 to 21 years old. As soon as they arrived at my place, they wanted to watch TV. But for me, to let guests watch TV for their entire stay (really any of it to be exact) makes me feel like a horrible hostess. Instead I got them all involved in the game of "Imagine If" in which I tried to translate the cards to Spanish -- on the spot. It went pretty well considering the constant translation.

Afterwards I let them watch a little TV while I finished in the kitchen with dinner preparations. Two of the girls decorated the birthday cake that I had made for Claudia who was turning 8 on Tuesday. We enjoyed a Mexican lasagna and then the cake and ice cream. Claudia was all smiles as she got to blow out the candles and enjoy her very own cake. Right after dinner we had to head back to La Casa, but it was a fun afternoon. One of the older girls told me that she wants to play the game with the older girls someday so I will try to work on translating the cards for real or better yet see if I can find the game in Spanish and then somehow get it down to El Salvador.

Minor Disasters

August 21, 2010,

I find it interesting that after seeing victory on Thursday evening in that we at La Casa de Mi Padre saw that God is going to bring good out of the terrible death of the young sister of children here at the home, my last day and a half have been filled with one problem after another. What is up?

Thursday evening and Friday we, as a staff, discussed the hope and faith that we have -- that which was intended for evil, God will use for good and for His glory in the lives. I am excited to see what God does in the lives of the children in the months to come. Tomorrow they come to my apartment for some food and fun. Considering there are 6 of them from age 7 to 21, it should be fun.

But beginning last night,I have encountered one disaster after another.(I recognize that the word "disaster" is a bit strong, but oh well.) After work on Friday I stopped by the grocery store and had checked out all of my groceries and pulled out my credit card but suddenly realized that my ID was not where it usually is. And there is no use of a credit card without ID. I went out to my car to look for it but in vain. I scrounged up what little money I had on hand and paid for 3 of my 20 some groceries. I then rushed home (as well you can in Friday evening San Salvador traffic) because I was sure that I had a Skype call for my class at 6:30. when I finally arrived home, I pulled out the chicken I had bought to prepare it for throwing in the soup I was going to make. I noticed a foul smell in the one piece but thought that maybe it was okay. Once I started boiling the chicken, I realized that it must be bad and so I had to throw it all out.

It turned out that I was wrong about the date for the phone call so I waited around the apartment for nothing before heading out to the store to go pick out my groceries once again. I then prepared a few things for the cooking I was to do today, but really I just wanted to sleep.

Saturday morning dawned rainy, but that was okay with me since I was planning to stay inside most of the day I walked out to the kitchen and discovered glass all over the floor. One of the glasses had fallen from the dish drain and shattered everywhere. As I was cleaning that up, I neared the freezer and discovered that the freezer door was cracked open and realized with horror that it was like that all night. Only the fruit in the door had begun to thaw out, but I was apalled at having wasted so much energy.
I proceeded to make my yogurt, which mostly went well. Mid-morning I headed out to go to the market for some fruits and veggies. I grabbed my keys and walked down the 4 flights of stairs to the parking lot. As I neared my car I looked down at my keys and realized that I did not have my car key. And yet it had been with the others when I picked them up at the door. I climbed back up the stairs and began to look around the apartment and in all of the bags that I was carrying. Nothing. Thankfully I found one of my spare keys, but I realized that I was not too happy to not know if I had dropped the key where someone else could have picked it up (even though only about 3 minutes transpired between my descent and ascent on the stairs). As of now I still do not know where the key and the remote to the car are.

Shopping was uneventful (thankfully)except that I do have to return a pan at some point because I discovered that it is already rusting and it was never used. Here in El Salvador returns are not so easy nor guaranteed like in the USA. I then spent much of the day baking and preparing some food for tomorrow with the children. I discovered the the muffins pretty much flopped but at least the birthday cake for one of the girls seems to have turned out okay.

The day is almost at a close and I pray that nothing more happens. I did not think I was stressed or over tired even though it has been a rather intense week. Maybe I am a little more out of it than I had realized. I am glad that as Anne Shirley says in "Anne of Green Gables", "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet." And even better is God's Word which talks of God's mercies being new every morning.

Tugging at the Heart

August 16, 2010,

This afternoon I went with Kathryn and a family visiting from the United States to the government run children's home here in San Salvador that is like the first string of defense. When children are taken from there home, they usually end up at this group home before being placed in another temporary or permanent home. It is somewhat the equivalent of Child Protective Services. The children come and go so quickly that the staff doe not generally learn their names and little is done to work with them on their feelings and fears with being uprooted from their home and sent to an unknown place. Today we took crayons and coloring books with us to the home and ended up hanging out with the pre-schoolers and older girls with babies. I was interacting with two young boys who were clearly brothers and I noticed an older girl who was carrying for them. She said that they were her brothers. She is the oldest of seven children and they had all arrived there at CIPI this past Friday, or about 3 days ago. As I heard this part of her story, my heart hurt for her and her siblings. I had a feeling it was a pretty abrupt evacuation from their home. The little three or four year old boy, kept mentioning to me that his mommy and daddy were not there. Both of the boys had rather blond hair which in Latin America often reveals malnutricion because it is not the normal hair color.

After a while the one year old began crying and wanting his sister's attention. Because I doubted that she ever had much opportunity to be a child and color or do whatever, I offered to hold the little boy if it was okay with her. She nodded her head and so I picked him up. He immediately began wailing even more but I started walking with him and singing and just as quickly he quieted down. I probably walked for a good 30 minutes back and forth on the porch where we were, singing quietly to him. It reminded me of Honduras and singing to little Lisbeth. Though my arm ached by the time I returned him to his sister, I was thankful for that time with the little boy. It was a time to pray for he and his siblings. When I hear stories such as the ones of these children, there is a desire in my heart to take them all in to live with me. It would be impossible I know, but I also know that it is very unllikely that they will be placed together in the same children's home or in a foster home. I pray that their story will have a happy ending and that they will know Jesus love. Little Issac heard about it this afternoon though he is probably too young to understand.

A Very Long Week

August 15, 2010,

So, I am finally getting around to writing, but I am pretty much making myself do so. At the beginning of last week I had a bunch of things at my fingertips for writing about, but then tragedy struck and life became too busy to do anything but fulfill my responsibilities at work. When Saturday afternoon came and I was free to go home, I had no desire to do anything but curl up with a good book. Today I deterred from that a bit by taking time to journal and sort things out and to do some baking.

At the start of the week I was excited to see that my times of reading with two of the young girls was also turning out to be an opportunity to help them work through things in their life or better understand who Jesus was. Even though we had just finished a busy week with the mission team, I still had energy. Long evenings of class work and then unexpected bad news on Wednesday began to change my perspective and energy level.

I guess that I had never really considered how working at a children's home would not only mean walking with children through the pain of their past but also walking alongside of them in the new tragedies that came their way. The untimely death of the little sister (who was not living at La Casa de Mi Padre)of a sibling group shook us all up to some extent. In those moments, normal schedules and work hours go out the window. I stayed late several days and then Friday night stayed overnight to be an extra person on hand in case the children needed someone to talk to that night since one of the tias was out sick. Throughout the week I have been challenged to not keep looking at the problem, the pain, the injustice, or the trials but rather to fix my gaze on Jesus who is my refuge and strength. Of course it is much easier to say than to do. Yet if I do not look at Him I will be overwhelmed by the violence here in El Salvador and the pain all around me. He is the only solid rock in the midst of a world that often does not make sense.

Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will have opportunity to share more of Christ as the Solid Rock with one of the older girls. The current plan (which I know could change) is that I will be taking her to climb a volcano with me. A conversation several weeks ago unearthed her fear of climbing mountains and as we talked, it seemed like a climb would actually be a very good thing for her and a way for her to persevere through trial and fears. I am praying that tomorrow will work out (or another day sometime soon)and that it will be a good time of encouragement and challenge. This young lady is at a crossroads, not knowing where to head in life, and I am praying that God will show Himself and His plan to her.

August Vacation

August 8, 2010

Every August much of San Salvador shuts down as people head to the beach and enjoy what is known as "August vacation." Schools were closed all week so the mission team that was here from the USA had lots of opportunity to interact with the children of La Casa de Mi Padre. They put on a Vacation Bible School for the younger children while many of the older ones headed to camp with their church. Then on Friday we headed out to La Finca (the farm where the children's home will eventually move to) and played out there amidst the mud. Rainy season has continued to yield heavy rains this year and so although the mornings were dry enough to allow construction to happen on the new pavilion at La Finca, nearly every afternoon we encountered torrential downpours. The children enjoyed the soccer and volleyball at La Finca in spite of the muddy conditions.

I really enjoyed meeting this team from VA and the opportunities to share with them and be encouraged. One of the highlights was praying with a few of the girls before they left yesterday morning. We are planning to call each other in a year and see where God has taken us in that time. I also loved playing basketball last Sunday with the children and team at a park. One of the older guys keeps asking me when we will play again so I think that some Saturday when I am at La Casa for the family visit day, I will try to stick around a little longer and play some basketball with them.

Thinking about returning to a regular work week tomorrow seems a little strange, but I know that I will make the adjustment. I know that the week will hold it's own adventures, but they tend to be the less desirable kind because they often involve challenges. I guess you could say the week has already started off with an adventure in that I have no water in my apartment this morning and I have no idea why. Thankfully I discovered that before going out for a run and so I have postponed the run until a later time.

Though there is much more that I have wanted to write, I will have to do so at another time since I have some homework to work on for my Life Coaching course before church this morning. And maybe later my ideas will come back to me.

A Little of Everything

July 24, 2010

Today, the final day of the week, I am finally taking the moment to blog about the most important events of the week -- the life giving ones because I know that I had the opportunity to be an extension of Christ's hands. Even though my travels to the States and Honduras were short and I did not rest physically, I seem to have come back refreshed in other ways and so while other staff members have been on the edge of burn-out, I have had the energy to press forward and help to balance them out. And I know that some day, they will be doing the same for me. Over the past week I have sat down with several of the older youth and chatted, sharing life stories and listening to where they are at in life. On Tuesday evening I hung out with the oldest boys, supervising them while the rest of the staff were having a group with the younger boys. Two brothers sat down with me to chat and after the one left, the other one and I talked for a long while about his anxiety over his upcoming graduation and then his desire to study missions. I discovered that at school he is nearly the only one in his class who does not smoke and drink and so he is daily faced with peer pressure and challenges. I was neat to get a glimpse into his life and to offer some encouragement to him.

Then on Wednesday I went with one of the older girls for coffee and we talked about how things are going for her at this point when her life does not seem to have much direction. I was excited to be able to share a story that I told for years during night hikes at Black Rock Retreat about considering that which we are actually listening or looking for. If we look for why our day is miserable, that is what we will see. Instead we need to look for what God is doing and learn to recognize the blessings from Him and His presence even in the midst of trials. Even as I shared with her, I was challenged to re-evaluate my perspective on things, especially some frustrations that I am facing for the week ahead.

One thing that I have begun to notice here at La Casa de Mi Padre is that God seems to bring different people into the children's lives at different times, based upon their need and who they will respond to. One week they connnect with a staff member and the next week, they do not want to talk to that person. I can definitely see the importance of the body of Christ with the various roles and gifts that can work together so perfectly to meet the needs of those around us and to glorify the Lord Jesus Christ.

This week I also spent a lot of time doing English homework and reading with a young girl named Elba. We are currently reading "Charlotte's Web" but in Spanish. Yesterday I listened to the Charlotte's long defense of spiders and their importance in life (of which I needed to tell my housemate today because she saw a spider in the apartment and hates them). What stood out to me though in the chapters that we read was that though Wilbur, the little pig who was about two months old at the time, had a taste of freedom outside of his pen, he was overwhelmed by the vastness of the world and was easily seduced to return to the pigsty with the bucket of slops that the farmer brought for him. When he crawled back into the pen, he felt like his little "house" was not so bad after all and happilly devoured the slops. Of course the very next day he awoke miserable and feeling friendless. I was challenged in the reading to be wary of the temptations that come across my path which call me back to my comfort zone (even though it may be a "pigsty") instead of pressing forward in what God is calling me -- as unknown and scary that it might be. I do not want to settle for "slops and pigsty" when God wants me to pursue Him into the uncharted waters.

Loss of Communication

July 23, 2010

Many a day I wonder if I am still able to communicate with the world in any language -- be it English or Spanish. Today was one of those days. I was trying to help a nine year old with her English homework. Sadly at this moment she is so far behind that all we are doing is playing catch up which consists of filling in her workbook and never really taking the time to learn nor to understand the material. This afternoon she had to answer some questions about simple machines and one question was to identify the machine that records television shows. As I tried to help her with the question, I realized that I could not remember the word in English, nor did I know it in Spanish. I proceeded to ask one of the older girls if she knew the word since she is pretty fluent in English and her thought was video cassette. Knowing that was not the answer I was looking for, I went into one of the offices to ask a fellow American girl for the right word. Her thought was "VHS", which also was not what I wanted. About that time I went back into the study area and the children's tutor (a native Spanish speaker who knows some English) called out "VCR". And that was the word I had wanted. It is rather sad that two native Engilish speakers cannot come up with the word in their own language (It is very probable that the tutor found the word on the internet but still...). And yet so often I am at a loss for words in both English and Spanish. I feel that in some ways my communication with people in English has deteriorated over the past few months because so many times I have discovered that I have not communicated well the question or idea that I had. I guess that is a price to pay for filling one's mind with another language, but my goal is to communicate well in two languages.

All In a Morning's Run

July 22, 2010

On Wednesday morning I set out for an early morning run and realized that a lot is going on at 6:00AM in San Salvador. Some of the sights that I see are rather disconcerting if I think about. As I ran through the neighborhood before entering into the park, I passed a house where three very armed men stood outside. I decided to cross the street at that point and not be too near any of them. It looked as if some important (or maybe just wealthy) person was about to leave in an SUV and the pickup truck behind that was probably to hold the body guards. I still have not quite gotten use to semi-automatic guns in the hands of so many people that I pass each day.

Leaving the armed guard scene, I turned the corner and came across a student driver and his instructor standing outside of the car which was parked between cones. Perhaps a greater danger than the armed guards on the roads that I run are the student drivers. The day before must have been trash day because the most common sight that morning was men rummaging through the trash bags in front of the houses, looking for plastic bottles or anything else that could be of value.

Once in the park, things calmed down and I enjoyed the beauty of the green area. I marvel though that I am the only person in the whole park who seems to run clockwise. I wonder if there is an unspoken rule about which direction traffic should flow on the sidewalk, but if there is, I am ignoring it. As it is, I find it difficult to pass people even when they see me coming. Sneaking up on them from behind would require even more waiting time as I would call out "permiso" every few seconds so that the walkers, three side-by-side, could clear a path for me.

Overall I enjoy the moments of getting out into the city to run and to pray. I have yet to run with anyone so my runs have turned into good prayer times. In some ways I hate to sacrifice that by finding a running partner though there is a girl in the neighborhood who I would like to run with one day.

What is the Cost?

July 18, 2010

Though it has been a somewhat long week because of working so much, Lara and I decided to have the older girls over to watch part 2 of the Anne of Green Gables Series which I had brought from the States. After discovering that we still could not get our DVD player to work with the tv, we resorted to putting the movie on Lara's computer yet again. One of the purposes of having the girls over was so that they could watch the movie for real without the voices of ten other girls overriding the sound. As it turned out hearing the movie was still difficult, but I know that they enjoyed the opportunity to get out of the house, laugh and be silly, and to try some new foods.

In the minutes before I took them back to La Casa, they offered to live with me when Lara returns to the USA at the end of this month. They, of course, do not want me to be lonely and so they said that I can be their "adoptive mom." My inner thought was, well, it would be nice to give them a chance to live in a smaller home and get more individual attention, but I quickly thought of the responsibility of getting them to school at 6:30AM and all the details that would go along with being an adoptive mom. There are many sacrifices to be made in the life of a mother. And I tend to forget about them when I casually think about wanting to take in children. Jesus' call to die to oneself is, in my opinion, exemplified in the life of many a mother as they put their needs last and invest in the lives of their children and husband. I am very thankful for the example my mother has given to me. (Actually I suppose this should have been a Mother's Day post for my mom.) So the cost of motherhood -- be it natural, adoptive, or even just spiritual -- is high, but it is an opportunity to live as Christ and to represent Him here on earth as one lives out the call in Philippians 2 to both look to the interests of others and to take on the attitude of Christ. Though there is a cost, the reward can be great as you see your children (again in the physical or spiritual sense) walking with the Lord and pursuing Him with a passion. I think we are all called to be mothers and fathers, at least spiritually as we pass on our faith to those around us and disciple them in Christ. And so with these girls here in El Salvador, I do want to be a mom, probably one of many, in their lives for the time that I am here and serve them and love them.