New Beginnings

June 8, 2011

Life has a way of ticking by and my blog entries go unwritten. I have decided that tonight I will write though because I promised that I would keep my blog up to date. One week ago today I began my job at Mom’s House of Lancaster. For those who do not know, Mom’s House is a pro-life ministry that provides free childcare for single parents who are still in school be that high school, college, nursing programs, or a vo-tech school. The motto is: “Choosing life should not mean choosing poverty.” I realized my first day there that I do have a lot to learn but thus far it has not been overwhelming. I am overseeing the daycare and staff, the volunteers (none at this point), the parents involvement (including their service hours and parent group), and the kitchen. One of my first tasks was to come up with the menu for June.

Because I have been going through files and trying to figure out the capacity of the daycare and how many more children we should bring on for the summer, I have not gotten to spend lots of time down with the children. There will be times when I fill in and cover one of the three rooms: Pre-K, Toddlers, or Infants. I did make it out to the play and garden area my first day on the job and rejoiced with the children in walking through the sprinkler. That was the same day that I covered down in the infant room for a few minutes and had time to read a book entitled, Snow. I loved the conclusion of the book which was, “I like snow!” The children helped their teachers and some volunteers plant a garden in one area of the little “yard”. I will be excited when we can harvest the fresh vegetables to serve to them for lunch.

On Friday when I met the Administrative Assistant she felt like she knew me from somewhere. We eventually figured out that I had led Mom’s House staff in teambuilding activities at Black Rock Retreat five and six years ago. It is a small world! There seems to be a great staff in place which is always a good thing for any organization. I know that I have a lot to learn from each one of them. As September approaches I will be preparing for the parent groups with all of the parents of Mom’s House. Every Tuesday we will meet for an hour and I will bring in resource people as well as lead at times the group time. Little by little I have been meeting some of the parents but many are on break over the summer so their children are not back in until August.

Last weekend I moved into the city with Kendra and so I am getting use to that. I still have not heard Spanish outside on the street in front of my window which has been disappointing. On Tuesday I walked the mile to work and I plan to try to do that regularly. Tomorrow might be a little miserable come afternoon if it is as sweltering as today but since it is street cleaning day on Queen St. where Mom’s House is, parking is hard to come by without walking anyway. I notice much more when I am walking such as places to rent, a Spanish Christian bookstore, and tucked in gardens. My goal is to walk as much as possible and leave my car sitting.

I am very thankful for both my job and current place to live. They are both a blessing. I know the housing is just for a season but it will be a good season.

On The Receiving End

May 26, 2011

Yesterday I had a blog post brewing in my head but till I got home to record it, it was too late to do anything. The day was a very good day with quite a few unexpected joys. These past few weeks I have been visiting with different friends across the State and yesterday I ended up visiting my former neighbors at Black Rock Retreat who are now in a nursing home. I did much more listening than talking but it was a good time. On Tuesday I met with a friend, Kendra Denlinger to explore the option of renting from her for a few months there in Lancaster. After a good conversation, I decided to walk to the Lancaster County Library Book Sale which was happening on F & M College Campus, not too far away. I set out with only my purse. The sale ended up being on the other side of campus and further than I had expected. I arrived there and was delighted to find some books that I figured I would have to buy new or on Amazon. Since this was the half price on all books day, I felt like I had found a goldmine. The problem is that when it comes to books, I love to read and have them on hand or even have some to give away. And so when I left the sale I had a large box of books with me and a ¾ mile walk ahead of me. I ended up walking through the college campus so that I could stop frequently and put the box down. There is nothing comfortable about carrying a large box for a long distance.

When I finally left the campus and started down the sidewalk, a uniformed young man on a bicycle stopped to ask me if I needed a hand. I really hate accepting help, especially when it was my fault that I had the heavy box, but I decided that if he wanted to help, I would not say “no”. And so he left his bike and carried the box the next 5 blocks for me. Apparently there are neighborhood security patrols in that area of town who ride around looking for ways to help people out whether that be aiding a stranded motorist or a young woman who bought too many books for 50 cents. I was thankful for the help and returning to my car, I headed off to pick up some free furniture. A woman who use to live in the area and do foster care was getting rid of furniture and was glad to pass it on to me for my future home with foster children. I rounded up some help to go and pick it up and of course it took longer than I had planned. Just before returning my dad’s work van to his house, it stopped working in that it had no power steering and though it turned on, there was no power to move anywhere. I had to leave it at my brother-in-law’s apartments and of course the next day when my dad checked it out, it was fine. I am not sure why I frequently encounter such “problems” with cars.Overall it was a day of unexpected help which was a blessing.

Traversing the Back Roads & the Raging Waters

May 4, 2011

I love backroads and so travels in northern PA and western New York are always fun. I am up in my old home area of Houghton College. On Sunday I shared at the church I had attended while in college and spent some time with a family there. Since that time I have been visiting friends and professors around Houghton. The weather has not changed much since college in that it is still rainy and dreary but at the same time beautiful. Yesterday I decided that I was just too close to Letchworth State Park to not go over and see the falls. With all of the rain over the last few weeks, the falls and the river itself were a raging torrent. I stood above them and looked down, mesmerized by the power. One slip or accidental fall into the water would be the end. There would be no escaping the power of the water whipping through the canyon. Even the waves in the ocean have not put such fear in me as looking at that river. Staring at the Susquehanna River which was above flood stage on Saturday's drive north, was also nothing in comparison to the Genessee River.

Whenever I am in a place close to a powerful body of water, my mind wanders to the Lord and His mighty power. Psalm 77:16 says of the waters, "The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed... Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen." I am pretty sure this refers to the waters the Israelites passed through, but it is amazing to think of the Genesee River, in all of its current power, convulsing in the presence of God. My mind cannot comprehend His mighty power and His holiness. (I will post some pictures of the falls as soon as I can get them uploaded.)

I am now heading southward again but with one more stop on my way. I have a couple other road trips in the next 3 weeks before beginning my job. I doubt that any will involve quite as many backroads or raging waters but wherever I go, there is good fellowship. With all of the people whom I have also met while overseas on work teams, I feel like I know people in most of the country and many parts of the world. It is a blessing!

"Wanting to Satisfy the Crowd..."

April 22, 2011,

Today is Good Friday. The weather is a fitting reminder of what it might have been like over 2000 years ago when Jesus was nailed to the cross. I did not spend much time outside because of the chill and the drizzle, other than to get in and out of my car (and to walk around a block to copy down some numbers in the city for apartments to rent). This afternoon the words, "Wanting to please the crowd, Pilate released Barnabas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified." (Mark 15:15) caught my attention. The first five words were the ones that resonated in my heart because they can lead to so much trouble. How many times have I said "No" to something I should have said "Yes" to or "Yes" to that which I knew in my heart was not God's best? How many times have I been quiet when I should have spoken up or on a different occasion spoke a word to contribute to gossip? How often have I not done something for fear of what others will think or on the other side of the coin, done something because of the pressure from those around me? Basically the reason captured by those five words, "wanting to please the crowd..." have the power to lead us where we do not want to go -- all because we want to please others.

Pilate had power over those who brought Jesus before him and yet he feared their power. He feared losing his position. He feared creating a stir. In another of the gospels we are told he clearly knew that Jesus was innocent but releasing a guilty man and sentencing the innocent one was to Pilate worth the price. Because had he not done so, he would have been accused of harboring an enemy of Caesar. His decision to satisfy the crowd led to the crucifixion of an innocent man, which we know had to happen to the Son of God because of the prophecy in the Old Testament. The death of His only Son on the cross was God's redemption plan for the world. And I am oh so thankful for it!! But at the same time I do not want to be like Pilate who made his decision so as to please others. To appease, to satisfy. So often those motivations cause us to take our eyes off of the One who we are called to please -- God our Father. I am challenged again in this Easter season to look at what is the motivation behind my choices. I want to choose Jesus in everything.

Lovely Spring

April 20, 2011

And so months after my last entry, I finally return to the blogging world. I have lots to write but other things have taken priority. This afternoon I am sitting outside with my computer taking care of details. The rain has temporarily passed by and we are left with a glorious spring day. Before me is a bank of yellow and white daffodils; purple, blue, and yellow violets; bleeding hearts, and the beginnings of blossoms on a dogwood tree. I do love spring in spite of the fact that I also love snow. It was a gift (for me an probably no one else in Lancaster County) to have seen snow and daffodils on my second day back in Lancaster -- April 1. What caught my attention just a few minutes ago were two ants. At first glance it looked as if they were working together to carry a long blade of gress. But upon closer inspection I realized that the one ant would periodically hop on the grass and be carried. Other times it would step off and crawl in a different direction. Dead weight more than a helping hand. It was an interesting sight among ants who so often work as a team. Many analogies could be made but I will not make them today. I simply enjoyed the scene.

Adjusting back to the United States is going well overall. There are definitely challenges and moments of sadness. A few things just do not seem normal yet. I am so accustomed to handing my credit card directly to a cashier that I had to be told there was a scanner in front of me to use. While helping out at Black Rock Retreat these past few days, I realized that my tolerance for others talking while I am has gone up. It almost head to because culturally it happened much more frequently in Latin America and I had to get use to it. I have quite a few praise stories to share, but I will have to wait until another moment. For now I will just mention how thankful I am to be able to enjoy the views of this spring as well as the time with my family and friends.

A Week of Baby-sitting

March 25, 2011
As the week draws to an end so does my babysitting. I just left little Lisbeth with Wes and Cindy Williamson and am now on my journey back to San Pedro Sula. The goodbye was definitely with sadness in my heart because I realized that Lisbeth had become attached to me again and she trusts me, and now I am leaving for a long time. I will always treasure this week and its special memories as I played with her, held her, read to her and sang with her. There were various moments when I wanted to cry, both from joy and from sadness.

This week with her showed me a lot about the heart of a three year old. Tuesday morning LIsbeth woke up sick and so I stuck close by her to make sure that she had the bucket in time no matter where she was. We ended up watching Nemo and then reading. By late afternoon she seemed a lot better so we headed down to the beach with another missionary family. It was Lisbeth’s first time to see the ocean (well the Caribbean) and the waves. She was appalled when Becca picked up the sand, saying it was dirty. And it took her a bit to get accustomed to the waves but soon she was delighting us all with her laughter each time a wave came in and whoever was holding her jumped and held her high above the swell. It was probably only the cold that drove her out of the water before the others.

Wednesday I headed to La Ceiba to finalize my car sale. Thankfully things went quite well and we found someone to do the paperwork and standing in line for us so the new owner was even able to pick up insurance while we waited. I returned to Balfate with no car in my name which felt a bit weird. When I got there, Lisbeth was still down for her nap but when she awoke she was happy to see me but then stayed rather somber. Becca said that she often likes to be held after her nap so I picked her up and cuddled with her. Before long she started to whimper and then cry. She would not respond to the question of whether she was sad or not, but we were pretty sure that was the case. Perhaps she thought that Wes and Cindy would be coming back to her or her mommy or who knows what. Whatever the case she spent the next half hour or so crying and Ellie and Becca joined me in singing, praying and holding her. In the end Lisbeth calmed down and she looked up at me with deep eyes that seemed to hold the question, “Can I trust you?” I eventually got up to make dinner and minutes later she was laughing and playing with Becca. I saw though the raw pain in her heart and eyes as she struggles to understand the changes in her life and particularly why her mommy is not around.

Throughout the week I discovered that any personal time I wanted pretty much needed to happen early morning or late at night, though I was always very tired with the latter. Thursday morning I finally made it a priority to go for a run so I headed down to the dirt road in front of the hospital community to run. It was all good until a vehicle would go by and stir up lots of dust. I concluded the run by running on the beach along the water’s edge. This morning I made that my whole run and ran up and down the beach line. It was a tranquil spot with an awesome view of the water, the Cayos Chinos (islands) across the way), a mangrove swamp, terns, and a kingfisher. I paused in the run long enough to catch three leaves amongst the many that fell on that beach. My feet stayed dry but when I would retrace my steps, many of them had already been washed away and forgotten. Hmm… does that hold true to life and wherever we tread? There are those places and people whom we will forget and they will also forget us. Our impact may not remain visible. But then there are those lives in which the footprint we leave behind is permanent. I want to be the kind of person who leaves footprints that are permanent because they speak of Christ Jesus.

Thursday itself was more of a challenging day with Lisbeth because shortly into the morning she scraped her knee (slightly) and that set her off in crying. It was humorous seeing her kick the soccer ball later favoring only the one leg and maintaining the idea that the other was hurting. There was a lot of whining and not wanting to leave Ellie and Becca alone so that they could do their school work. I discovered that you sometimes have to be creative to get cleaning down with a toddler around. Thankfully she became entertained with an indoor swing that they had at the house where we were staying, but I had to push her every few minutes since she has not gotten the art of pumping ones legs to maintain the swinging movement. During her nap time I finished the preparations for a dish to take to the Thursday evening fellowship meal that happens nearly every Thursday night in this missionary community. Because I knew that I was leaving the country in three days I was not exactly excited about meeting lots of new people, but it was good in the end. Throughout the course of this week I have read Green Eggs and Ham or Huevos Verdes con Jamón more than any other time in my life. It is Lisbeth’s favorite book and she wants to hear it before bedtime and every naptime. I usually enjoyed bedtime though because after reading a Bible Story and then Dr. Suess, we would sing and pray with Lisbeth. Many times she would join in on the song to the best of her ability. Her singing of “Jesus…” or “Worthy…” touched my heart.

And now here I am at Friday and my final days in Honduras. I left the Williamson children around noon today, taking Lisbeth with me so that they could get school work done and so that she would see Wes and Cindy were back before I took off. When I mentioned to her that I would be going on a trip and not see her for a long time, she got sad. I thought that she might choose the rejecting (“well then, I am just not going to love you anymore”) stance but she did not and was willing to hug me up until we parted ways. It would seem that I am a post griever and that the realities of all of my goodbyes this past month will not hit me until later – probably when things slow down a bit. Right now, I continue to move from one thing to the next and from one visit, with its goodbye, to another.

The Chicken Bus Travel

March 14, 2011
In amongst the scary turns and the construction on the highway from Tegucigalpa and San Pedro Sula I am taking a few moments to update my blog. I am returning from a trip to visit missionary friends in Tegucigalpa and a few days with Evelin at the rehab center. My friends, whom I had known from Costa Rica, just arrived in Honduras the end of January so I was able to hear about their ministry and see a bit of their life. I was reminded of the instability of life in Central America the one afternoon as I sat with my friends outside playing a game of Settler’s in the green area within the walls of their apartment complex. All of a sudden, not too far away, we heard the rattle of gunfire. It broke the tranquility of the afternoon. A little while later we heard a car alarm going off but it was a moving car alarm which meant it was probably being stolen. And then the final break in tranquility was when their neighbor, a lawyer with a bodyguard, pealed into the parking area and then left quickly. You just never know what to expect. But I am reminded that it is nothing in compared to the tragedy and instability in Japan right now. Because I had no internet much of the weekend I have not been able to keep up on what is happening there, but I know that it is not good.

The other main part of my trip was a visit with Evelin. I knew that it would hold challenges because on Friday she told me that she was ready to leave even though she is only two months into what is at least a four month program. I knew that there were lots of prayers being lifted up as I went into the visit and looking back I see God’s hand at work. I have discovered over the last few years that God seems to bring me back into Evelin’s life in just the right moments. I am honored that He continues to work through me in her life. Saturday evening we talked with one of the staff at Door of Hope and presented Evelin with the reality of the future, that which she preferred to overlook. Through sharing with her and a time of prayer, God spoke to her heart and convicted her she recognized that this was not God’s timing for her to leave. Her desire is to submit to His plans. I know that the road ahead of her will still hold many challenges but I am thankful to see her looking to fix her eyes on Jesus and not the battles within.

These bus rides are interesting. Whether it be bad movies which I would rather not see or now opera, I have not been too impressed with the on-board entertainment. I try to drown out the sound with an I-pod and music but it only partially works.
As I return to San Pedro Sula, I will be picking up my car from the mechanic and hopefully everything that needs to be fixed for selling it will be taken care of. Things seem to be working out quite well with selling it but I am praying that on the day of signing papers and everything there will not be any glitches as can happen in this country. I feel like I do not have too many days left for meeting up with friends to say goodbye but I am hoping that the time I have is sufficient. I just need to plan ahead and plan well.

With all of the curves right now, I am feeling that I would be better off not looking at a computer screen so my entry ends here.

*I must add one more comment on my trip, now that I have reached my destination. I was traveling in a coach bus which provides extra security and a place to store your luggage. It is not what they call the “chicken bus” – the type where you may have a live chicken trying to sit in your lap. Well, I discovered that I was on a “chicken bus.” Mid-way through the trip, a bag that had been precariously placed in the overhead compartment, came crashing down to the floor and rolled under my seat. I could not reach it so I left it there, especially because no one seemed concerned about it. When we reached the city and the bag rolled in the other direction, a bunch of liquid spilled out onto the floor. At first I thought it was my soda but upon closer examination of the bag and its contents, I realized that what lay at my feet was a thawing chicken – and a big one at that. Why someone decided to transport a chicken from one city to another on a four hour bus trip, I cannot pretend to understand. All I know is that once the bag was open more and juices were running out a very unpleasant odor began to seep from the bag. I was thankful to get off the bus and move into the terminal.

The Heart of a Child

March 8, 2011

These past few days have contained lots of moments with little Lisbeth. So that the Williamson family could have a break and some time together, I took care of Lisbeth for various moments. Since a lot of the time overlapped with her naps, it was not very difficult. She has become a sweet little girl with a lot more joy in her heart. Her favorite past-time in preparation for sleeping is that of reading "Green Eggs and Ham." It is a tongue-twister in English but try it in Spanish for an even greater challenge. By the end of the month, I should know it pretty well. How precious it has been to watch her growing more mature and becoming more loving! She gives hugs out quite freely this days and when she needs to seek forgiveness, she will also give a hug of pardon. Her vocabulary is growing daily and so there is a spattering of words that you can here any given day. "Hola" is always said with a smile and a tilt of the head.

Yesterday morning we played make believe travel in a car as she sat in her car seat which had been left on the porch. Later we went over to her cousin's house where we played some soccer. It was an interesting game considering that she is only three and her one cousin is a year and a half. He was more interested in picking off the flower heads than in playing but Lisbeth could turn out to be a very good soccer player with all of her spunk and energy.

I am treasuring these moments to spend with Lisbeth because I know that they will not be many more. Tomorrow I will be in the city to get my car repaired and then heading to Tegucigalpa to visit missionary friends. My final stop will be a few days with Evelin as I both say goodbye to her and also encourage her.

These final days here in Honduras will be busy and I am praying that I can get everything accomplished in good time, in particular the sale of my car -- which is coming along as long as the one missionary family decides that it is a go.

So I am off to finish some details at camp before heading to the city this afternoon or tomorrow morning for car repairs.

The Whirlwind of Time

March 5, 2011
I had no idea that I would get so behind in blogging, but it has happened thanks to a myriad of events and busyness. These few current moments of quietness that I am enjoying are taking place at a hotel/restaurant in Honduras not far from the camp. I came here this morning to do a Skype call since the connection out at camp is sporadic at best. Soon I will head back to camp to continue my packing and organizing of things and then later to participate in a Young Adult retreat with the church I attended while living here. It will be a good way to re-connect and then say goodbye to a lot of people at once.

So much has happened in these last two months. Since returning to El Salvador after Christmas, the time was like a whirlwind, whipping past me. I spent over two weeks as a tía for several different age groups. Day one of my time with the six youngest girls, I realized that maybe I do not ever want seven children. Well, at least not all around the same age and all girls who do lots of fighting and complaining. Thankfully things improved after Day 1 but I was grateful to be able to move up and care for the four middle aged girls.

Just over a week ago I had my despedida “farewell party” at La Casa de Mi Padre. It was a bittersweet time as I enjoyed the songs and sharing of the children but also knew that it was “good-bye” as far as for me playing a significant role in their daily lives. They have taught me so much and I was thankful to hear from their own lips or pen that I have made an impact on their lives. Two days ago I received word that they father of a six year old girl there, was killed on his way to work. In moments like these, it is hard to not be closer to the children and staff to support them. The father was one who participated in family visits and showed lots of love to his daughter. I can only imagine the grief of little Karla at this point.

Last Saturday instead of traveling to Honduras as I had planned, we waited a day so that I could better pack and rest a bit. That morning as I ate breakfast with a family in a relatively safe neighborhood, someone came along and stole my spare tire. And so the rest of the morning was spent looking for a new tire and lock with the help of the one housedad. I could not believe that the theft had happened on my very last day in the country. In reflecting on the situation though, I realized that there are things for me to learn. All too often I am very dependent on my “spare tire” or “Plan B.” I like to have a back-up plan and know my way out of potential problems. Sometimes all of my planning comes at the expense of fully trusting in the Lord and His sovereign plans. And then too I often have way too many things with me, like an abundance of spare tires.

Well, that is an overview for the moment of a few recent happenings. If I can make the time to write, there will definitely be more to come. Car problems hours from the city, giving a ride to the police and their machine guns, Lisbeth’s latest development and skills and other such things. I will try to keep you posted.

A Few Random Stories

February 5, 2011

Well, I am not doing a good job this year of keeping up with my blog. Life seems to have gotten so much busier somehow and at night by the time I return home (if I return home and am not a tia), I am thinking about sleeping or some other task at hand. At any rate this morning while I wait for the family members to arrive for Family Visit Day, I have a few moments to reflect on the week. This has been the first week back as far as staff meetings and childcare trainings -- the things that normally happen when school is in session. I have been busy preparing for some of the future childcare trainings by working on putting together (or translating) questions for the book Boundaries which the staff will be going through. I will be giving the introduction to the book on my last day at La Casa -- February 25. I do not like to think too much about that day because it will be difficult one. A big part of me does not want to move on and yet I know that it is what God is calling me to do for this season.

Over this past week I have found myself smiling and laughing at random questions that the young children ask or the conclusions that their brains come up with, bringing two unrelated matters. Children do make me smile. Last night some of the youngest ones participated in a little song and creative movement at the farewell party for their tia. It was so cute to see them so dressed up and then spinnigng around, partially doing the movements.

As far a few other random stories in the week. I must remember that three short honks is not a friendly reminder to keep moving! In fact that is the equivalent of giving the finger in the States. But three honks seems so much more natural than two or four. Yesterday I almost got in trouble when I unthinkingly honked three times. I gasped when I realized what I had done and quickly added a fourth. I was apalled to think of the message that I had just sent. Also having to do with roads, I have been noticing a lone corn stalk on my way to work each day. It is growing right on the road, just at the edge of the sidewalk. Apparently if found a way to reach a bit of soil and anchor down. There are tassels on it right now but I would be surprised to see any ears of corn result from it.

On Thursday I went for a twenty minute run with two of the older children at La Casa. They both need exercise and the one in particular since she just discovered that at 18 she has high blood pressure. I am trying to instill in the children the importance of healthy living though I realize that my making cookies with them did not exactly support that lifestyle idea. I would love to see a few of the chidlren continuing to run even after I leave. Earlier in the week I had gone on a walk with few of the children and the dog. There was a close call as one of the girls started to follow the dog across the street without looking as to if any cars were coming. I grabbed her arm and stopped her and so the dog stopped too and just in time because a car was coming. The young girl was scared by the close call and realized that she has to look and not impulsively run. I pray that the incident was enough to make her remember to be careful next time.

And so those are a few stories though I know there are many more to share and maybe I can get a few more written down.

What 2011 Will Not Bring...

January 27, 2011

It would seem that 2011 will not bring lots of blog entries. I simply have been out of time for writing and updating my blog. I suppose that I could be writing at 4:00AM when I first wake the girls up to get ready for school but for now that is a good time for me spend with the Lord.

The year will probably not bring me much snow either though I know that Lancaster County is currently covered with a blanket of white snow. I am sitting here in El Salvador on the porch on a bright, hot sunny day. I know that many would like to trade places with me and I of course would love the snow adventures. This past week and a half have held lots of days as a tia. For the most part it has gone well though I am getting tired and looking forward to some time off on Saturday. The children are in school this week which does mean that I have some free time in the mornings -- a big blessing. I have yet to actually sleep though as naps have always been difficult for me. I am with the "medianas" or girls between 11 and 14. There are only four of them and really they have been doing quite well. They are much easier to be in charge than the six youngest girls as will be my responsibility several days in this next month.

As for what else the year will not bring, I do not know since we are only in 2011. But realy overall, I expect 2011 to bring adventures, joys, and of course challenges since they are inevitable in life. But as I have seen in the past, I believe for the future that God will continue to show Himself faithful.

And I'm Back!

January 12, 2011
After what seems like years (and really it has been a year as far as the numbers go), I am back to blogging. My travels over Christmas and New Year’s ended up being longer and more involved than I had originally thought and so writing did not make it on my “To-do” list. But now I am here in El Salvador once again getting settled into a routine that will change in another two weeks as the children head back to school.
All in all I was out of El Salvador for almost 2 ½ weeks and when I made it back to the home for the first time last Saturday, I was very happy to see the children’s smiling faces. They are good at giving hugs! At the same time I did enjoy the majority of my time away. How thankful I was to be with my family again – all thirty-five of them over Christmas! This was the year where all of the cousins show up so we had lots of fun together. Because of a large portion of us getting sick on Christmas Day, our annual soccer game did not make it on the agenda. But there were other fun games and good conversations. I, of course, was delighted to be with my nephew Jack again and to see his love of water (including seeing others get wet – I think he will be mischievous yet). A few of the small luxuries of the United States that I enjoyed were: driving with the windows down, brushing my teeth with tap water, and not having to worry if my dishes or foods were completely dry after having been washed.
On December 28th I set off for Central America with a stop in Honduras. Due to snow in the north I ended up spending more time in the airport than I had planned, but thankfully I still got out the same day. My intention was to be in Honduras until the New Year since there were no children left to take in here in El Salvador for New Year’s. (The children at La Casa de Mi Padre are divided among the staff families for Christmas and New Year’s so that everyone can experience Christmas in a family setting.)
I will expound on the Honduras happenings in the next blog entry. For the most part settling back into life in El Salvador has gone well. It was good to be back at my church here in San Salvador and be challenged by the message once again. I had opportunity over the weekend to connect with some of my friends from Bible Study here. For me, one of the best things too was just to have some time alone. For 2 ½ weeks I had been living out of a suitcase in places that were not my home and I was ready for more of routine.
This week I have gone with the girls to the park several times to help them both get exercise and have some fun. I enjoyed introducing some camp games from years ago when I worked at Black Rock Retreat. Of course some ended up being rather chaotic considering that the age range was 5-21 (and then two adults). From that time in games, I have on my heart trying to help the girls become aware of (and care about) the power of their words. It seems worse than before the manner in which they talk to each other. Perhaps it is good that vacation time is coming to an end and they will be spending time at school and not always with the same sixteen girls.
Today we had story hour with the younger girls and due to be able to mold play-doh into something mentioned in the story, they enjoyed the time. Even Ralph and the Motorcycle has a lesson or two to teach to children. With a few of the older girls, I played a table game before they got involved in a movie and game cube. I am all for challenging the minds, which is what the game Blokus does. Yesterday I baked Jamaican Banana Oatmeal cookies with a group of the girls so we have been busy.
Perhaps my favorite moments since my return to El Salvador have been those of praying with various staff members and encouraging them. The Lord taught me a lot personally through the coaching course that I was finishing up last year and many of the concepts I am finding applicable to all areas of life. I pray that the Lord can continue to use me to encourage and be present to support those who are passing through difficult moments.

To the Peak of Another Volcano -- Chaparrastique

December 16,2010,

There is something about hiking and reaching a peak that excites me. I love the challenge of the climb and then the view from the top. On Sunday I woke up early to head out to a volcano with an "extreme hiking group" here in El Salvador. The climb began with us winding through a coffee plantation ripe with coffee beans. They were so pretty that I was tempted to snag a few and eat them but I resisted the temptation. Along the road we came upon a coral snake that had been cut up but it was still obvious as to what it was. I preferred coming upon it dead than alive.

After the coffee plantation we began the real ascent with some steep grades and slippery terrain because we were walkig on loose volcanic rock. One of the words of warning that the guard gave us was that of, "Make sure a rock is solid before you step on it. Sometimes the big ones seems solid but when you put your weight on them, they start an avalanche of rocks." I reflected on that statement as I gingerly tested rocks before putting my weight on them. I thought of how sometimes even in life, that which appears solid, will suddenly give way. At one point I was singing (in my head) "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand ... ." I encountered quite a few other analogies in my hike that day. At one point one of the girls -- a new found friend -- reached back to offer me a hand up a large rock. I hesitated a moment before accepting herself because I knew that I could do it alone. But as I thought about, I realized, but why? She had gone before me and was already up on the rock. Accepting her help would make my climb easier. So why not let others help me? It was a good reminder to curb some of my independence and allow others to bless me and help me along.

The rocks I had to climb or step over along the way reminded me of another song called "The Lead of Love" by Caedmon's Call. The words that were in my mind were that of, "... you have to walk the rocks to see the mountain view... looking back I see the lead of love." I love that about life that as we move forward from a moment of difficulty, a rock or obstacle, if we reflect on the moment, we can see God's lead of love through those hard times and that in the end He has a plan and purpose for our lives. The rock we had to face was not the end. He is there with us among the rocks, offering a hand and comfort or even carrying us at times, and afterwards He is has a mountain view for us -- the opportunity to look back and see the purpose for which He allowed us to struggle over those rocks. Sometimes we cannot see the reason until much later, but there is good to come from even those bad situations because God is a God of love.

When we reached the top of the volcano, the crater was barren with sulpher fumes coming out and a gurgling sound coming from it. There was a little ledge where I could sit and see to my left the barreness of the crater and to the right the green valley below. I was reminded of those who try to straddle the fence between the living and the dead. I definitly choose life in my walk and indeed in this case I did not go down and explore the crater. That would have been too much. The view from the top was awesome and I felt like I could see so much of El Salvador. We kept taking pictures along the way but someone commented that the view would be best from the top. I had to think of our Heavenly Father who sits in heaven and can see the whole world. He has the perfect view!

The descent was even more challenging for me than the climb because it was no longer about strength and endurance but about traction and the shoes that I took are on their last leg. Indeed that might have been their last journey. I fell quite a few times and slid many more but thankfully made it down the volcano safely and back to the car. We got to the van just before dark for which I was thankful. Overall it was an awesome journey and I made some new friends too which is always fun. The majority of the group were not Christians as I could tell by their words and actions but I hope that I was able to share a bit of Christ's light with them in our hike.

Culture Shock

December 16, 2010

Culture shock is something that happens every now and then and often unexpectedly. For me this week it was looking for baking soda in the grocery store only to be told that it is in the medicine aisle. I guess it shows that baking is not a tradition here. Yesterday at the theater I was handed a bag of popcorn with the straw sticking out of it. One of the housemoms joked that that is how they eat popcorn here in El Salvador -- with a straw. Definitely another culture shock! Though really the straw was there for easy carrying.

And finally the other culture shock moment came on Sunday when I left my house at 4:20AM to go on a volcano hike. I figured that on a Sunday at that hour there would be no problems with traffic but I did not take into account that it is a week of various fairs and celebrations within the Catholic church. And so at 4:15AM I found myself in a traffic jam because people were arriving to celebrate the fair of the Virgen Guadalupe. Unfortunately the church is right along a main highway and the cars were taking up one of the lanes and sometimes unloading in a second and so there was one good lane for traveling. Would people go to a fair at 4:20AM in the United States? I do not think I know too many people who would, but maybe I am mistaken.

The Days of Summer

December 16, 2010,

It is actually not summer here in El Salvador though we have entered into the dry season (so maybe it wouuld be called summer). It does not feel like summer in that we have enjoyed some cooler days over the past few weeks and lots of wind. But nonetheless it feel like summer in the sense that the children are on vacation. I have been doing lots of baking with the girls and in that teaching some lessons on what it means to share, wait (as we worked with yeast the other week), and think of others before ourselves. Today will be another cookie baking session with some of the older girls who will help me to make cookies for a snack for tomorrow's award ceremony. I have also introducted exercise or recreation to the schedule. I was impressed the other day when one of the older girls got some of the younger ones together for stretching and soccer on the tiny porch because they had not been able to to go the park and play there. When I was out last week for a workshop, they still went to the park to play soccer and basketball. I am encouraged to see the concept fo the importance of exercise taking root. Without it the children pass too much time sitting in front of the television.

Since the oldest girls are without a tia at this point, I had them over for a sleepover one night and stayed at La Casa with them another night to give them a little extra attention and allow the other two tias to focus on just their groups. Tomorrow night I will be back as a tia which will make for a long weekend, but it should be fun. I look forward to sharing a devotional with them to encourage them in their walk with the Lord.

Yesterday a local business blessed the home with a free trip to see Narnia in 3-D at the theater. It was a fun time even though I missed a lot of the movie by taking the girls out for potty breaks. A free 18oz soda for everyone is not the best idea for little children! On the trip home several of the older girls and I were able to talk some about the movie and the spiritual applications that we saw. I was disappointed that one of my favorite parts from the book was left out (as far as the detail) in the movie but overall it was good.

So all in all these "days of summer" are going well. I will not be here for Christmas but come New Year I will have a couple of the children stay with me for a few days as the children are divided among the staff families so that the home can close down and no one has to work. It should be an adventure!

A Belated Look at Thanksgiving

December 10, 2010
So I still have a lot to catch up on with my blog entries and before it gets too far away in the past that I forget about it, I went to mention my Thanksgiving here in El Salvador. It was a new experience for me as far as Thanksgivings go. Since Thanksgiving is not a holiday here it is a day like any other and is fair game for events. This year two graduations took place on Thanksgiving Day, one in the morning and one late afternoon. The first was the equivalent of a kindergarten graduation – the kind that are always interesting because of the cute children and their different acts or behaviors. Unfortunately the program started very late and then dragged on, but overall it was okay. It was great to see Agustin’s family there celebrating with him. After the first graduation a co-worker invited me to her house for a Thanksgiving lunch. I already had plans for a 3:00PM Thanksgiving meal but it was with people who I did not really know so I decided to stop by my friend’s house first and enjoy a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal but with friends.
From there I ran over to the other Thanksgiving party which was with persons who work with USAID. I only slightly know the woman who invited me but I ended up having some good conversation with a Christian El Salvadorian woman there. Directly after the meal (and before dessert was served) I had to leave to get to the second graduation of the day. Salvador, one of the boys in the home, was graduating from high school and he actually graduated as the valedictorian. I did not realize he was valedictorian until the next day since I did not know that word in Spanish. I had wondered why such a big deal was being made about this graduation since it was actually the second among the children. When I realized he was graduating with the highest honors, it all made sense. I was just a bit slow. 
After graduation we went for my third Thanksgiving meal of the day (thankfully I ate only a little bit at each meal) at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Not my typical Thanksgiving stop but it was where Salvador wanted to celebrate with his family and staff. During the graduation ceremony it was moving to see his biological dad up front with the housemom and counselor participating in the ceremony of passing on a candle to the graduates. God is at work in the families of the children at La Casa and in several cases bringing about restoration and healing which is very exciting. This Christmas more children than ever are going to be spending time with their biological families instead of going to the homes of the staff.

Night of Talents

December 3, 2010

This past Tuesday was a Night of Talents for the children here at La Casa de Mi Padre. Through songs, dance, and drama they demonstrated their many talents and here are a few photos to give an idea of what it looked like. My talent was helping a few of the girls make cupcakes for a snack so I did not have to get up on the stage which I preferred.

Where Has The Time Gone?

December 3, 2010

That is the question I ask myself as I reflect on all of the days that have slipped away without any sort of update. In some ways I feel as if there are have been so many happenings that keeping up with them is nearly impossible. But I will try to do a re-cap with some photos and then maybe go a little deeper in another post. With the coming of December it feels like the children truly are in the middle of their vacation time. I have gotten into more of a routine here at La Casa for this season. Instead of having varying hours every day, I mostly work 9:00AM-6:00PM. At least that is the plan. But then there are events such as rallies and Talent Shows where everything changes. Just this week I started a schedule for doing physcial recreation with the girls twice a week and made cooking groups. Today the older girls and I went to a nearby by sports complex and ended up playing some kickball. Yesterday with the younger girls we ended up in a shady park near my apartment where we were able to run, nearly get sick on the merry-go-round, play tag, and of course try to catch leaves. (I am trying to bring a revolution to El Salvador via creating a new sport -- leaf catching. It is catching on with the girls even though not too many leaves are falling right now.) This afternoon while the girls are playing nintendo, I find myself with some time to do some catching up. And so I think that I will work backwards from today.

Two weeks in a row I have gone out to the farm and witnessed the Equestrian Therapy program underway. This week I actually got on a horse myself which I have not done since Camp Hebron days in 1996. The first week the older girls were very scared of even getting near the horses but they all mounted. One of them remained terrified and trembled most of the time. This week she chose not to get on the horse but I am hoping that in the weeks to come, she will try again. There is something to be said about conquering a fear of heights, horses, climbing, etc... and how it can give courage to also face the fears one has in the daily life. Coming from a recreation therapy background, I am all for those challenges that can be applied to life. I knew that I should ride one of the horses to show that even though I am not really comfortable on a horse and have a healthy fear, I am willing to push myself out of my comfort zone. And in the end it went better than I had expected.

Endings and Beginnings

November 22, 2010

Last week was a week of both endings and beginnings. Both have their place in our lives. On Wednesday the adoption of little Diana was finalized and after a farewell party, she left La Casa for good with her new adoptive parents. Hopefully this week she will be able to travel to the States with them in time for Thanksgiving. She left crying because she was leaving her home of nearly six years and all of the people whom she had grown to love. Even though a better life awaits her and her very own family, her thoughts were in the present moment and the losses she was about to experience. And how can a six year old even begin to process all of the changes? I remember moving to PA at age thirteen and I was not happy about the move. I was leaving the life I had known and though there were fireflies, soft grass, cousins, and snow in the north the trade off did not seem good at the time. But no more than a year later, I was convinced that the move had been for the best and I grew to love PA. I pray that the same will happen for Diana even as she adjusts to a new culture and language.

I think that spiritually I fall into a similiar position as Diana's resistance to the change many a time when I become content in the place that I am and the comfort of what I know. Being stretched spiritually and stepping out of the boat, I am not always about that. But God calls us to keep moving and growing. I do not want to be the same Jennifer Marie Hess that I am a year from now that I am today. The challenge though is saying yes to those steps that take me out of my comfort zone and the "prison" a comfort zone can even form. To move deeper into surrender to God and complete trust in Him as the director of my path.

The new beginnings of last week included the start of group therapy session with the girls' home even during the vacation. In the past they have only had group sessions during the school year but this year Patty decided to continue them through the vacation months because there are so many changes that have been "rocking" the home. A change in tias. A little girl leaving for adoption. An older girl beginning her first job. And so we focused on new beginnings as we talked last Thursday. We pray that these new beginnings will bring new life and new hope to the girls and that they can in the end grasp the changes as good, though sometimes painful in the moment.

I find myself adjusting to the vacation schedule and what that means for me and my interactions with the children and staff. In some ways I have a lot more free time to hang out with the girls. Last week that lent to some good times of talking with the older girls while helping them put up Christmas decorations or taking them on a walk. I have noticed that the girls spend the majority of their day watching movies and television and so I want to help offer some alternatives. Some of the girls would be interested in getting some exercise and it would definitely be good for them. After doing the race the other Sunday, I want to do another one in February if I am still here and I think it would be great to involve some of the girls. One thing that struck me though in my conversations with the girls last week is that when I leave, I will be yet another loss in their lives. I had kind of hoped that I could slip in and out without creating another hole or loss for them and yet to achieve that I would have had to maintain my distance and not really invest in their lives. I hate to think of causing them more pain though. And yet at the same time I do not want to check out of the relationships now. And so my prayer is that I will be able to invest in the girls for as long as God wants and that we will all be prepared for the goodbye and be able to accept it as a part of the package deal of relationships.

In This Present Moment

November 13, 2010
Saturday is bringing to close a long week – one in which I find myself very tired come this day – but it has also been a good week. The week has held challenges and disappointments but what brings me the most peace is that I know that I am exactly where God wants me for this present moment. I do not sense that the “present moment” will extend much beyond my one year mark in February but looking back and even ahead, I can see that God had me here to both fill in gaps and to gain new insights and perspective of what God is calling me to.

Yesterday marked the beginning of the schedule vacation events for the children who are now on vacation from school. We began with a “Tarde Típica” (Traditional afternoon) at the farm where we enjoyed traditional foods (I even prepared a Salvadorian dish though I learned it was not quite how they make it – I followed a recipe that probably cut the sugar in half) and some games. I had a little “kick-off” of vacation season at my apartment on Thursday when I served breakfast to fifteen girls and two tías. It was a good time. They seemed to enjoy the eggbake and baked oatmeal, both of which are not typical foods for here. Afterwards I shared some verses on encouragement (which is a theme God keeps bringing up in my own life) and then we took a few minutes to write encouraging words on a paper stuck to the back of each person. Each girl was then able to take home those words from their housemates and tías. I think it was good for all of them and I was encouraged as well by what they wrote.

The other big event of this week for me has been that of spending time with a family from the United States who is here to adopt one of the little girls. They are in the final stages of the adoption and really we had hoped the papers would all be signed this past Monday and they would have custody of her. But unfortunately the judge has asked for more paperwork and so they still do not have custody which means that someone from La Casa has to be with them and the little girl at all times as a chaperone. Two days this week that person was me and this afternoon it should happen again. What I have realized though is that God wants me in this role for the moment. It has been neat to watch the family beginning to bond with the little girl. There is much pain and stress for them right now in this waiting process but the Lord is sustaining them. I am encouraged and challenged as I watch them because I could see the Lord calling me to do a similar thing in the future though maybe in not cross culturally. Who knows? Certainly not I. But God is opening my eyes and for that I am very thankful. I try to stay out of the way so that they can bond and I can provide translation and be in prayer as needed.

My week has been long for one other reason and that is that I trained for a race for tomorrow. Nothing like last minute training! I heard about the race last Sunday – an 11km race. I have not run a race since college and it was never that long. I have continued to run though prior to this week I was not running a lot. When I saw the flyer for the race, I really wanted to do it. Not to win but just to run a race. So my goal is to finish without dying. I know that in the United States I would often go out for a 5 mile run after not having done so for months and I was always fine. Hopefully the same will be true tomorrow morning as I do the early morning race. I can let you know more after tomorrow.